[Anonymous]

hi does anyone know of counselling available to carers ? after keeping it together for 8 months
i has a bit of a meltdown at the doctors when he asked me how i was. bw sarah

[MariParticipant]

Hi Sarah,

I know what you mean, after Steve's diagnosis i think we both had a bit of a meltdown. His consultant arranged for us to see special oncology counsellors based at our local hospital. We both had different needs at the time, but as a carer trying to come to terms with everything I found it so very helpful. I think when things are tough we manage to hold things together, but after a while and as things get a little better, suddenly the full force ofwhat has happened can hit us.

If your doctor cant help then maybe you could try Macmillans nurses, they might be able to put you in touch with someone.

Good luck and be kind to yourself, you are going through a very tough time,

Much love

Mari xx

[jmsmythParticipant]

Sarah

I started counselling shortly after Frank was diagnosed with SMM in Sept 2006. The first one I had there was no connection and I never went back to her after the first visit. Macmillan put me in touch with Robin who was fantastic. It was so good to talk to someone who did not know Frank and was not judgemental. I was with him for about 5 months before I felt I could go it "alone". Then early 2011 I felt I had to go again. I was put in touch with Declan, who was also very good. I think it is important that there is a connection between you both. I was with Declan for about 4 months and it is a comfort to know that there is someone at the end of the phone. I also have to mention the support I got from my friends on the forum, particularly from two of the under 50's group who helped me tremendously. I hope if you decide to go you get as much out of it as I did.
My best wishes to you
Love Jean x

[LyndaParticipant]

Hi Sarah
I was so sorry to hear that you had meltdown at the Doctors and hope you feel better today. Eight months is a long time on this rollercoaster of MM and you probably feel physically and emotionally drained.
I too am carer to my husband Pete who was diagnosed with MM a month after Henrys diagnosis.I was told that my GP could refer me onto someone or I could ask Petes Oncology Nurse and she could refer me to a Macmillan Counseller. Please do seek help and be kind to yourself. Dont forget its not just been Henrys battle but yours too.
I am so glad Henry is doing so well and I hope he has a really long remission after his SCT.
Keep us posted on how you both are doing
Love Lyndax

[StephGParticipant]

Hello Sarah
I too went into a bit of a meltdown a few weeks ago, after a bumpy 6 months with my husbands treatment and no sign of a let up. Our Macmillan nurse specialist referred me to a psychology person at the hospital. I went to see her for the first time this week complete with a large amount of scepticism. I came away, whilst not feeling on top of the world – I did feel better for having just openly talking with someone who wasn't at all involved, and who was sympathetic without being sugary. I'm now booked for a few more sessions.
I would definitely recommend, if you have a nurse specialist, you speak to them, as they'll have contects to put you in touch with.
Hope that helps.
Steph

[Anonymous]

Hi all

GP has referred me for counselling and I have received a form to say I wish to have this service, so now its just a waiting game for an appointment – could be up to 8 weeks!! meanwhile i will just try and carry on and hold it together. I do feel like I am a ticking time bomb and still find it all very difficult to talk about without crying. I did have a lengthy discussion with Henry yesterday about how I felt but I dont think he truly understands. I just feel there are 3 of us in our marriage Me, Henry and Myeloma, and I resent it so much as it has changed our future. Im not quite sure what Im struggling with perhaps its the uncertainty of Myeloma and why has Henry got it and I cant imagine living my life without him. Henry is doing so well. He has put on weight and has alot more energy, we have been going for lots of walks and he is on course to go back to work in a couple of weeks. I think he is getting bored at home now. We are back to the hospital on Wednesday for antibiotic drip. He still has this bad rash which the consultant hasnt got a clue what it is, they have referred him to the dermatology dept. But apart from that he is looking good. Sorry if I have rambled on. I do find this forum such a help….love sarah xx

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