[Georgie87Participant]

Hello to everyone,

I am new to this site following my fathers recent MM diagnosis.

My dad is 62yo and into his 2nd cycle of CTD and is at an all time low. He is very withdrawn, disinterested, shaky and fatigued. He has a lot of hip pain due to the myeloma and for someone who 6 months ago was still on the football pitch I think he is finding the lack of mobility a real blow. The specialist has suggested that providing the treatment does what they want it to his pain will relieve and in turn he will feel more mobile (albeit not match fit). My mother passed away last year from cancer (not MM) and I think it is all just too much. The GP has prescribed him with some antidepressants (Citalopram) which he is unsure about taking. I too am unsure about him taking these as he is already taking so much whilst on the CTD (plus codeine for pain) and the side effects for these antidepressants are scary when there is already so much on his plate. Has anyone any experience with these antidepressants or does anyone have any ideas in the way of a holistic approach which could prove beneficial?
I desperately want to help him pick his mood up but I just cant see a way to help him.

Thank you so much in advance for any help or reassurance.

Georgie

[eveParticipant]

Hi Georgie

Welcome to the Myeloma Forum,I was going to say it,s not a nice place to be,but it is,and you have come to the right place for support.

What your consultant is telling you is true,chemo will do the job,radiotherapy is only for people who are in danger of having more damage or the pain becomes to much .

If you want to help your Dad,get some booklets on Myeloma hospital or Ellen,and start learning all about it.Ask any questions on here and try to get your Dad interested,but it is early days and he is coping with all he can at the moment.

People will tell you it's do able,patients carers we have all been there!!!

Can I give you a few tips.

Organise your Dad,if he needs pills for depression ,why not,loosing his wife then Myeloma is enough to depress any one,what is one more pill with all the toxic pill regime he is on!!!
My husband takes ant depression pills,to sleep relaxes the body,it achieves the result!!!

Apply for any money your dad is entitled to, Mac Millan have a help line,blue badge,these things will make life easier,will help in mobility,house plus give your dad the knowledge that he is going to make this.
Try to get your dad to come on here,it would be the best tonic to know there are lots of men on here in the same position,just at different stages,when you first start chemo and it kicks in 2or3 cycle it's hard,a massive learning curve.

I am leaving space for all these men on the sit to give you advice,as I am a female carer,and see it in that perspective .Eve

[Georgie87Participant]

Hi Eve,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply.

As soon as I read your post I contacted Ellen who was absolutely brilliant.

Dad will be having a blast of radiotherapy next week on his hip to help relieve the pain he is experiencing, hopefully this will do its job.

I imagine my dad would benefit from seeing a specialist councillor to talk through his worries and anxieties but he has never been a big talker. I have tried to ask him if he would consider it but it fell on deaf ears. I don't want to force him into something he isn't comfortable with but I do think he needs a little nudge perhaps. Ellen told be about the peer to peer scheme which again I think would be a brill idea, its all very well me trying to say the right things but I'm fortunate that I don't have first hand experience of this and maybe if dad spoke to someone who does he may get a little light relief.

Thanks once again Eve and best wishes to you.

Georgie

[jillsParticipant]

Georgie,
Welcome to the Forum. I have a similar issue with my Mum who was diagnosed with MM in 2007. When she started CTD she was very depressed and all the doctor offered was Citalopram which didn't seem a very good option to me – Mum is 84 and was already feeling quite drowsy and confused due to the CTD effects, I didn't want to make that worse! Anyway, we got involved with a local hospice and Mum went along to their weekly 'social' sessions and art classes which she enjoyed, in this way she got access to support and counselling rather than having to be referred to a counsellor through her GP. It did help her but to be honest she has been very up and down over the last five years, each time she starts a new treatment she tends to get very low for a while and the only times when she really seems well are when she has a break from treatment which is not very often.
It is hard particularly if you are in pain but if your Dad can see things are improving due to the treatment this will help and if you can get him involved with something like a local hospice they are great in what they offer to patients and carers.
All the best to you and your Dad, let us know how he gets on,
Jill

[EttaParticipant]

Hi Georgie I too was feeling very low at the beginning of my treatment and lost all power in my legs for nearly 6 months.
I am back walking again not as fast or steady as I used to be I am 56 and felt very frustrated and wasn't able to cope for quite awhile then I was given the citrolapram and take one at night which I feel helps. Hope this helps your dad regards. Etta

[Georgie87Participant]

Thank you both, Jill and Etta for responding.
I would really like to get dad talking to a councillor or another person in a similar situation as I really believe that talking openly can help depression albeit not a quick fix.
I have contacted Myeloma UK, Macmillan and his Haematology Nurse who all seem to agree that taking the Citalopram may just help take the edge off things for him even if he just tries them for a month or so until (hopefully) things sit a little better in his mind for him.
I got a crutch from St Johns Ambulance today which he did use and walked around the Supermarket with me for 10 minutes which I think is a positive.
Thank again to all who have replied.
Best wishes to all

[sanParticipant]

Hello Georgie, my mum has mm diagnosed 12 weeks ago and suffers greatly with fatigue, it is so hard because it takes every ounce of energy just to get washed and dressed, she said today to the rowcroft nurse that she so wants to do more, she is tearful at times and needs to talk it through, the nurse explained that the myeloma itself and the chemo will make you feel fatigued and low in mood there is a good booklet on fatigue and how to manage it by macmillan. She too had radiotherapy on her hip and has oxynorm for her pain which has been super in small regular doses, the chemo takes its toll on your body and mind, the pain is probably getting him down considerably, has he seen a palliative care nurse re his hip pain as the radiotherapy will take a little while before it helps the pain, to be without pain is a great thing or at least if it is more bearable for him he will be a little more mobile then hopefully. As Jill says the local rowcroft hospice is helpful and may offer complementary therapies which may help both of you. Please send you dear Dad my best wishes and i hope that things improve for him soon, San.

[FOXLEYParticipant]

Hi Georgie,
If my experience is anything to go by the cycles of CTD will gradually reduce the pain. I too found the combination of pain and sudden loss of mobility was in a way more depressing than the fact of having an incurable cancer so I fully empathise with your father. Do assure him that for most patients the pain does get less. I was about to go on a cycle tour of Ireland when I crushed my vertebrae as a result of doing some heavy lifting.
Chris

[tomParticipant]

Hi Georgie

Welcome to you and your Dad.
Its not an easy task this MM lark and if Dad needs to pop a few more pills and sit and have a chat with a Councillor am up for that I have done Both during my CTD and SCT and am now spot on.

Good Luck with your Dad and his on going treatment.

Tom Onwards and Upwards x

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