[BevParticipant]

Hi I am a new comer to this site,

Need to talk to others in same situation. My Dad and stepmothers secret is not helping me to help them. I believe my father has MM, after a spinal lesion which he survived and is now up and walking with my continuous guidance as being a sports therapist. A course of chemotherapy behind my back was his first treatment and last year a plate in his lower limb after a visit back to blood doctor. Course of steroids treatment which has just finished, now he is at A and E after a continuos skin rash with itching. All this is been denied with by stepmother, but they still refuse to talk openly about Dads situation and lies about want is going on. Is there any way I can find out the truth? As I am sure that a can help them both more if only they would let me in.

[eveParticipant]

Hi Bev

Sorry to hear about you situation ,you do not say how old your father is or how old you are??.

It must be hard on you,but if your dad chooses not to tell you,there is no way you can find out!!!!

You could approach the situation by saying you have been on the Myeloma UK site,because some one you know has Myeloma and you found it very helpful and useful,if your dad has myeloma he just might ask about the site,you are not actually being untruthful,he just might help him to open up.
They might feel they do not want to worry you,or by denying it,might be a way of coping,our family know but we do not go into everything with them because we have to have some normality ,.hope this helps Eve

[eveParticipant]

Hi. Bev

How are things going .i am just boosting this up,as people might have missed ir.Eve

[PhoebeParticipant]

Hi Bev,
It's certainly a difficult situation for you to be in, but as Eve has said it may be their way of coping and not wanting to worry you.
When i first read your post it struck me personally as we have not yet shared the MM diagnosis with our children and their ages range from 16-26yrs old. They just think that my husband has 'funny blood' that requires monitoring by a Haematologist every 3 months and injections of G-CSF due to his neutropenia.
We decided not to tell them until my husband required 'active treatment' as he is currently asymptomatic. I felt my children had enough to deal with following the effects of my husband's meningitis and amputations. Three of them are still in education and we want them to be able to concentrate on their studies.
Of course everyone's situation is different and people come to terms with things in different ways. It may be helpful if you can provide your family with practical and emotional support which enables them to get over your father's surgery and any debilitating effects that remain. I wish you and your family all the best.
Phoebe

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