Ha, you are right there Tom.
Min has explained to me that I can't make plans for Janet after I have gone… she is unique to herself and will deal with my passing as she fits, or as the occasion takes her… but I can't help looking at how our friends have dealt with loss and grief… from Roz, Tina, Sarah and Min and wonder which path will be closest to that of Janet.
Janet is a very pragmatic, sensible, practical person; very loving and loyal to those closest to her but not given to emotional outbursts. She likes to end each day with a kiss and a smile and thoughts of what she wants to do tomorrow. I know she will be devastated, whatever I say… but if she handles her grief something akin to Min then I won't be worried.:-)
At the present we live 5 miles from my step-daughter and her family. Janet dotes, as grandmothers do (in Janet's case the Welsh form, Mamgu – pronounced Mamgee, soft 'g'). We care 'after-school' a couple of days each week… (just Alfie, nearly 6, at the moment but Edith, four next month, from September) and see them for an hour here and there at weekends… something that Janet will continue and, I imagine, expand upon as they get older. We both know that my passing, as unwelcome as that will be for both of us, will also give Janet the time and space and freedom to explore herself and her needs… and I am confident that her pragmatic and practical persona will help her with that process.8-)
Anyway, all of this is for another time and another place… for the time being I will admire Min as she travels her path and explores her freedoms.:-)
Dai.
