[ree2112Participant]

Since my SCT in April last year I don’t feel normal.
I’m fed up of feeling ill.
I’m not a sicky person. I’ve always taken things in my stride but as I’m typing this I’m crying as I just feel rubbish.
I work full time and my employer is great with me but I feel like I’m taking the mickey if I leave early if I’m tired.
I hate feeling like I do. I don’t know what to do about it as I’m not ill I’m in remission and have monthly Daramumtab injections along with a Zometa infusion.
Oh well, try to carry on regardless.

[caroParticipant]

Hello Ree2112
I am sorry to hear that you feel so low. I actually think that you are doing incredibly well to be one year post SCT and working full time. Credit to you!
I had my SCT three years ago and reached state pension age while I was in hospital (by some quirk of good timing) I am so glad I am retired. I do keep very busy, but doing stuff I want to do. It is a long recovery, during the first year you may feel ok, but everything is much harder work than it used to be. But, in my experience, it does get a lot better. But our bodies have been through a lot and are still being hit with powerful drugs, do be kind to yourself.
Hang in there, you have got over the first year, and working full time too. I think you are amazing.

[gcParticipant]

Hi.
It’s ok to be fed up. It’s hard work dealing with myeloma day in day out. Working full time deserves a medal. I’m retired, keep busy but realise I’m so lucky that if fatigue hits I can rest.
I think there are times when the enormity of what we are dealing with just hits. Most of the time I can be as normal- whatever that is- as I can be but every so often, as you say, I too just get fed up. That doesnt mean I’m giving up!
I dont think I’m explaining this very well but you are allowed to be fed up and here is a good place to sound off about it.
You look after yourself. Take care.

[rabbitParticipant]

Hi Ree2112,

Being a myeloma patient is tough, physically and mentally, including during remission.

One of the first things that I asked my doctor when I started treatment was: how many patients work full time? He said that very few do so. Some had already retired, but among those who were working, most go part time or stop working altogether.

I went on sick leave for the first few months, then gradually built up my hours again, but I couldn’t work full days due to fatigue. My employer kept paying me (although the rate reduced for the hours when I couldn’t work).

Although I am in remission, I have had side effects from eye problems (fixed a few months later with cataract surgery) and I sense that my brain fog is slowly increasing. As I need to really be at my mental best to my work, ‘full time’ became more and more difficult, and a misnomer due to the fatigue. I therefore came to a deal with HR to go part time and focus on less mentally demanding areas.

I don’t feel one twinge of guilt – and neither should you. I was open and honest from the start, and followed my employee handbook to the letter.

Do what is right for you, and look after yourself.

Regards
Rabbit

[anne1Participant]

Hi Ree2112

Oaf, no wonder you feel the way you do dealing with Myeloma and working full-time! I take my hat off to you. I think it’s easy for us to forget what we’re asking our bodies to do, not least the psychological impact of this illness. I hope you rest whenever you can. Maybe your haematology team can shed some light on why you feel like this, or is it normal to be fed up one year post SCT?

Look after yourself.

Anne x

[tony642Moderator]

Hi Ree,

Please remember that it is ok to not be ok, or feel ok. You have a disease which is not kind to you or your body. Almost everyone I have spoken to with MM has had their life changed to some degree, and probably that life will never be exactly the same as it was before. I think most people progress when they come to terms with that. That is a harsh statement to make, but I found once I accepted the ‘new normal for me’, I was able to move forward.

Full credit to you for wanting to continue working full time, and of course you should if you want to while ever you can, but just let those around you know about your diagnosis so that they can give you a bit of latitude of your performance is not as good as it once was.

Keep your chin up, and make sure you get some ‘you’ time. Onward and upward!

Regards, Tony

[Author]

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