[mrsbParticipant]

3 weeks ago hospice preparing us for end of life care as first chemo tablets didn’t work and mum in horrendous pain. ( told latest stage and very aggressive- mum 79)Now starting second cycle of injection chemo and things looking up – pain managed and feeling so much better (cancelled carers as she can manage self care again) but scared to be too excited ! Is it common to make this sort of improvement or is it prolonging the enevitable ?

[rebeccaRParticipant]

Hi Sara – Mm is very individual together with your health to start off with/fitness/robustness. One week it can look bleak take a treatment that suits your MM and you can pick up and rally very quickly. What may appear very aggressive MM is only like that if you can’t quickly find the chemo that will work for you and yours. At 50, I was told a long time later, by my chuckling consultant (he’s lovely) they didn’t expect me to survive/leave the hospital – 5 years on I am doing great ( for now). I have a very aggressive MM on my kidneys – even with just a little MM – however it does not (yet) appear aggressive to treat so whilst the Mm is kept at bay all is well. Everything is so individual don’t believe anything negative until it actually proves to be true for your mum. Positivity and belief makes a huge difference to all aspects of treatment and living life well. Believe that your mum has turned a corner and you will both fear less and live life better ( it is infectious!) if it turns out not to be true you have at least managed to delay the sorrow and prolong the hope and happiness. Chin up and a big smile on really helps until you can manage it for real.
Never stop hoping
Rebecca

[mrsbParticipant]

Thankyou Rebecca, your positivity has already made me look at it all differently – I’ve been scared to enjoy the good days I think but going to embrace it today !

[rebeccaRParticipant]

Hi Sara – my biggest coping mechanism during treatment was trying to control my mind and stop pondering on “what ifs” Andrey and take it Day to day. I started saving motivational quotes that became my mantra throughout in controlling my mind to “not go there” and stay in the moment. The main one I used was

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today if it’s strength”

And as a reminder that you are in sole control of your mind/emotions – regardless of circumstance –

“I am the master of my own thoughts….my mind will only obey me”

I don’t need them now in remission but when I get lax and look ahead I bring myself out of it now with

“When life gives you a hundred reasons to breakdown and cry, show life that you have a million reasons to smile and laugh. Stay strong”

As soon as I was able I used e revise to regulate mood/thought and both you and your mum will find something that “clicks” with you. The important thing is that you show no fear and radiate positivity to your mum as this is so calming znd reassuring even when in a very dark place and tha balance of life can be tipped either way.

Take good care of yourself do you can take good care of your mum

Rebecca

[mrsbParticipant]

Amazing day today! Walked few steps on own in order to visit my sons house and ate lunch – appetite back and very positive. Although very tired after effort, mum is showing such strength. She has chemo again Tuesday but may need transfusion if red blood cells don’t improve, was a different woman after last one. Dr tore up her dnr form on Friday due to such progress. Unbelievable how much of the early days of diagnosis and how poorly she has been are a blur for mum – probably just as well. Positivity is definitely the best medicine. Thankyou for giving us a different outlook. We are not going to have any regrets x

[Author]

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