[dee4894Participant]

The day before father's day. He died in my hands. He was having a nebuliser and just, went. Instant and painless and it was Fxxxx terrifying.
I can't decide whether I'm relieved I was there and he's no longer in any discomfort, or if it was the most horrible thing in the whole wide world.
How can a body just be, empty. Fxxxx empty.
I can't close my eyes without seeing him taking his last breath.
Ugh.

However, I'm alright. Yeah. I'm fine.

Surreal.

Sleep tight, Rich. Love you bajillions.

[eveParticipant]

Hi Dee

So sorry about your Dad,its a lovely picture of him,so treasure it,he looks to be a bit of a character, so I am sure you have wonderful memory,s,which will see you through the coming years.

Dee you are very young to watch some one pass away,take comfort in the fact he died peacefully,as time goes by you will not have any regrets about being with him,your mum needs you to be strong now,specially if your dads death was not expected.
At the moment you are expressing angry which is to be expected,just remember your mum needs a little calm around her, I send my condolences to your family.Eve

[HelenParticipant]

Dear Dee
How awfully sad and shocking for you and your family, your emotions will be reeling. Stay tough for your family, as Eve says, your dad looks a character and I'm sure you have many of his qualities which will help you cope over the next few days, weeks, months and years.
My father in law died very suddenly and we found it very hard to adjust at the beginning, now I look back and think that he would have preferred that way to go, no fuss, so there is consolation eventually, but now just remember the good times with your beloved dad, and know that we are thinking of you all.
Love Helen

[dickbParticipant]

I remember when my father died, he had a stroke 6 months before, suffered pneumonia, several heart attacks, was paralysed down one side and was as stubborn in death as in life, he really fought to stay on. But, it was the best for him really, no more pain, no more muddled reality, no more constant care and being reminded of his paralysis.

He looked so peaceful afterwards despite dying in pain. We all gathered around his body and the gallows humour came out. We were very respectful of him and also fearful when we were young and there was this guy we could take the Mick out of and he couldn't do a thing. It was part of our grieving process. I had to explain to a taxi driver last week that I probably won't collect my pension, that life is more finite for MM sufferers than for others, I would have thought your father would have known that as well, so let the grieving process continue, remember the good times – and the bad for that is what made the person he was to you.

[mhnevillParticipant]

Hi Dee

Sorry you are having such a difficult time. It is hard to see someone after they have died. I agree it does look like only an empty shell is left. It's what makes me believe the real US survives elsewhere, but maybe you find that hard to accept.

I remember being so angry when my mum died that I nearly broke a tilt and turn patio door in the hotel we were staying at for the funeral.

Be kind and patient with yourself.

Love to you and your family.

Mavis x

[tomParticipant]

Hi Dee

Well I want to give you a great big HUG, am sure it is hard for you to see your Dad pass away but I bet your pleased it was painless, try and force that moment from your mind and think of the good Memories (and am sure you had plenty of those)

If you and am sure you will need to have that Rant about MM just to clear your head, use this forum.
Stay well Dee

Love Tom xx

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