I have multiple myeloma. I am half way through 25 months of twice weekly chemo.
One of my friends told me he tried to commit suicide the day after I met up with him to try to offer support because he felt suicidal. He was taken to A&E and then the Crisis Team assessed him for counselling after I contacted them but he seems reluctant to seek professional support.
In the past we have met infrequently since my diagnosis. But since he told me he has been depressed I’ve tried to meet up more often. He wanted me to ring him every day but I am at the hospital two to three times a week and I see my partner on other days. Over the weekend I can barely get out of the chair as I am so fatigued and breathless.
My question is how do I set up boundaries that I am comfortable with and can manage but still offer support?
I went through a similar experience myself nearly twenty years ago and for me it took several years to recover to the point where I could manage my feelings of self harm. It was professional help that got me to that place. My impression is that my friend is hoping he will recover very quickly through intense support from family and friends. I think this is unrealistic and is not something I can offer while undergoing treatment for incurable cancer.
