[GillParticipant]

You should be in bed madam:-) Yes he will be put on revlimid but we were told that it will not help for very long in Stephen's case. I don't think he was that surprised. He is back on crutches and in a great deal of pain and has always been very philosophical about the outcome of this b*****d illness. Me?? I am in pieces. Was brave when Stephen was around but he is now asleep, it is very late at night and I am falling apart

Gill xxxxx

[GillParticipant]

When we visited our solicitor regarding our marriage we were really surprised at the lack of any rights a "common law" partner has. Without wanting to be depressing most of it did revolve what would happen if one of you died first.

She told us that the person left would have no right to keep anything unless it was willed to them or the next of kin gave it to them, even the smallest thing that might be of sentimental value. If the next of kin in our cases Stephen's daughter and my eldest child had taken on what appeared to us as an odd or strange religious belief then the service could be that. eg. a flower fairy funeral (sounds quite nice if there was such a thing 🙂

The next of kin would not even have to inform the partner where or when the service was to be held. Yes the partner could go to court and fight it but hey I imagine that's the last thing one would think of.

We did say at the time that the kids would rely on whichever one of us was left to decide but our solicitor warned that sometimes families fall out in later years or took on strong beliefs that you may not choose to follow

Best wishes Gill xx

PS regarding rings in a civil ceremony (cannot say regarding religious) they just leave the words about rings out completely. You just let them know on the day The registrar?s assistant just mentioned ?no rings? as we went in. I found the whole thing very funny all the way through and giggled silently with my head demurely turned to one to one side. It was half way through that I realised I was full faced in a mirror and could be seen

[GillParticipant]

Hi Eve and Slim

When we got around to getting married we visited our UK solicitor to change wills, status etc. and like you we found out that although not as archaic as France here in the UK you have few rights if you are not married. She compared a "common law" wife, or husband, to the law according to the Daily Mirror!!!.

Congratulations, love and very, very best wishes from Gillxx

PS the kids do know now. We would never lie to them and when a converstaion came up around "would you 2 ever get married?" We explained what we had done.

PPS I do have 3 very nice rings which were gifts from Stephen over the years and all 3 have always been worn on my "ring finger" We were both relieved to discover that you don't [b]HAVE [/b]to exchange rings at a non church wedding. Do keep us posted

[GillParticipant]

Hi Kay

I cannot help with what pp level Stephen was when he went in for his first SCT but he did lose all his hair. You might consider having a hair shave party before you go in. You may even persuade other family members and friends to shave their heads and raise some money for charity.

One thing Stephen did not consider was his beard (not inferring for a moment that you have a beard Kay). He kept waking up in hospital with little sharp needle hairs sticking into his face, ears and neck.

One tip. When you come out of hospital you will have very little appetite. Have tiny portions on a tea plate. It is not overwhelming, but you feel that you have eaten a plateful of food and the amount is quite manageable. Stephen?s first meal was 1 scrambled egg and the tiny centre of a rib eye steak. He pronounced it the best meal he had ever had!!

The very best of luck with your SCT Keep us posted as to how you are doing Gill xx

[GillParticipant]

Many many congratulations

We lived for years and years without marriage and then in the middle of buying a house in France found that French law is different. Not married? Big problem. We got married one Friday afternoon with two of my colleagues as witnesses and didn't bother telling the kids (Stephen has one and I have 2)

Do keep us all up to date with plans, parties and pictures. Mind you how did you get THREE engagement rings??? Most of us get far less jewels:-) Gillxxx

[GillParticipant]

Hi Bridget I agree what a lovely man. There is a temptation to reveal his name because of his kindness but temptation will be resisted

Love from Gill xx

[GillParticipant]

Hi Jet Good luck with your SCT Stephen has had one and is duie to have another later this year. He is not dreading it like he did last time as he found it quite managable. He is dreading being away from home (old softy) but we both hope that it will put him back in remission.

I kept a diary thingy on the old site about his progress while he was in hospital, but unfortunately I did not keep a copy and all the old info has gone. I have mailed the web team to see if any of it can be accessed but have not yet received a reply

Best wishes Gill

[GillParticipant]

Goodness Sarah I had to look twice at your photo to realise that you are not Kate Humble. You look just like her 🙂 🙂

I envy your energy Good luck with all the lambs Gillxx

[GillParticipant]

You moan all you like Eve. Why not? I must say that we do not seem to have the type of problems that others here seem to have with getting prescription meds.

They seem to issue a prescription for us to take to our local chemist and then it gets filled. Sometimes we have to go back to the chemist's after a few hours while they get it in and sometimes the following day but as it is just around the corner from our house it is not a problem. We are obviously lucky Gillxx

[GillParticipant]

No idea what it is Min sorry Have you spoken to the nurses on here? Gillxx

[GillParticipant]

Thanks to everybody for all the replies. Stephen is listening to his own body now and again "giving in" as he puts it and resting more often. It makes such a difference as when he is not very, very tired he can do some of the things that he wants to do without feeling crippled.

Thanks Min for the poo pee tip We had already put the poo-pee pad outside and that is working but will now put some of the garden pebbles where we would like her to go on the pad.

Gill xx

PS to Nigel Lucky you most do get nausea and other nasties with Velcade

[GillParticipant]

Hi Izabella (sp?) It's a beautiful name.

Horrid, horrid time you are going through Kev will turn a corner and you both will have a "normal" life back. I remember before Stephen (mm husband) was first told he would go for a SCT we were told "We will make you feel worse before we make you feel better" Ain't that the truth! Unfortunately you both have to be patient to get there What is that poem

Patience is a virtue
Pocess it if you can
Seldom found in women
And never in a man:-)

You will both get a life back.

[GillParticipant]

OK I have now withdrawn my pity for Stephen's bad tummy on Velcade. Because he was not affected by the tum problems on previous doses HE WAS NOT TAKING HIS ANTI SICKNESS DRUGS!!!!!!!

After a particularly bad vomiting stint where he couldn't even keep water down he took the tablets with a huge glass of water and then immediately up-chucked again. "see" he said " they don't do any good" Grrr. He is now taking them regularly and is a great deal better. Still feeling queasy and so, so tired but not as bad as he was. Good news is that his platelets are up from 55 to 105:-)

PS to Min Poo Pee now enjoying going out in the garden but dashes in to use pee pads for both poo and pee :-S but at least not soiling the floors Gillxx

[GillParticipant]

Hi Mike and good luck with your treatment. Gillxx

[GillParticipant]

Well this drug is certainly taking it's toll. Stephen has had very little in the way of side effects gregarding tummy problems this far. After reading other's posts regarding Velcade he felt very lucky.

This has now changed dramaticaly. His new best friends are the loo bowl and a bucket. 1 item for each end!! he does not even seem to be able to keep the anti-sickness tablets down. He now believes "if the bloody mm doesn't get you the treatment certainly will":-) Gill xx

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