[RoisinParticipant]

I cannot help but feel that you are justified in your feelings of anger. It seems so unfair for things to have happened they way they did. All any of us want is to do the best for our loved ones, even against impossible odds. I am sure I would feel just as angry as you in your position. However you must be brave and face one day at a time. I am sure the anger will eventually subside, but it will take time. My heart goes out to you and your family. You will be in my thoughts.

[RoisinParticipant]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My father in law died of MM on 23rd December. Like you I can't help thinking that the treatment he received hastened his passing, but he had to try. We as a family thought it would be better to not have it, but he couldn't be persuaded. In the end he only had 3 weeks of chemo and he was so ill that he could no longer go out of the house and the treatment stopped. He never revovered from that. 4 weeks after stopping treatment he was dead. I will always wonder if he would have been better and for longer without it, but I will never know. My loss is bad enough but I can not begin to imagine how it must feel to lose somone after all those years together. My heart goes out to you. Grief is a terrible thing and sadly sometimes we never completely get over it. I hope you have friends and family to give you the love and support you need at this time. Be patient, give yourself time and don't rush things. You will always have your happy memories and the love you shared together.

[RoisinParticipant]

Sadly 36 hours after movinginto the Nursing Home my Father in law die peacefully in his sleep. The staff there were wonderful with him and made his last few hours as comfortable as they were able to. I would like to thank all those of you who have offered advise and support to me, it has been a great help just to know that other people know what it is like. We were all very shocked at his death, for although we knew it was coming we had expected it to be several weeks away. He died on 23rd December, but we are greatful that he did not suffer for longer than was necessary. when he was diagnosed in August the doctor expected him to live between 6 and 36 months. The reality was only 4 months. It is an awful illness, but compared to som people his suffering was short lived.
Thank you once again for all your support.

[RoisinParticipant]

We have been having district nurses coming in twice a day to him for the last few weeks, and this has eased the load a bit. However, he has now decided himself that it is too much for everyone to deal with, and has decided that he would be better in a nursing home. This has been his decision, and I am relieved that he will soon have qualified people on hand 24 hours a day. I have been arranging things today for him, anmd we are just waiting to hear when the transport will be available to get him to the Nursing home. It is a weight of all our minds, knowing that he will be safe and looked after – which is what he deserves.

[RoisinParticipant]

Thank you all for your support and concern, it is lovely to know that there are people whio take the time from their own caring duties and illnesses to offer a few words of suupport to others.. Its nice just to know that there are people out there who actually understand what we are going through. I have spoken to his GP and he is arranging for someone from the pallative care team to come out an assess him with a view to offering more help. He still insists that he does not need it and is adamant that he will never leave his home to be looked after elsewhere. I will be there when they come to visit so I will be able to explain the situation to them and hopefully things will improve a bit. I am expecting to hear from them in the next few days.

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