[keznmelParticipant]

Hi Vicky – thank you so much for your message. reading what you wrote was like I was telling the story…just how I feel. I have also thought about using all of this in a positive way, maybe volunteering somewhere or studying maybe?! Who knows.

I hope that Colin is OK at the moment – how are you doing?

Take care xxx

[keznmelParticipant]

Hiya Tom – thank you for your message. We have something else in common..In May 2007 I was diagnosed with Fibrosarcoma, cancer of the soft tissue and I finally went into remission in June 2010 ..as Melvin was diagnosed with MM in the December. I have to agree with you regarding the comparison of feelings – I felt more in control when I was the 'patient'. Now I feel totally out of control and It almost feels that someone has put a bomb in the middle of my future.

I am positive most of the time and will always remain positive – just sometimes it gets to me and I feel so sad and angry. Normal for us all I'm sure.

You take care Tom – keep smiling and thank you again x x x

[keznmelParticipant]

Hi Lorna..

My partner Melvin was diagnosed with a Solitary Plasmacytoma on 15th December 2010, so our journey started nearly two years ago. Reflecting back to those days, I felt scared and unsure of what it all meant, I remember that. It was almost like I went through some kind of grieving stage??! Things have really progressed for Melvin now and MM has certainly taken up residence in his body and our life is being effected each and every day. I now feel very angry. It comes and goes …. I consider myself 'a coper' so I get on with everything as best I can but I do get angry more frequently now. I feel angry that we ..us and our three children have to live this life. This wasn't what I had planned! Then comes guilt for me – guilty for feeling selfish maybe??

It sure is very hard isn't it?

How are things for you right now? How is Mike?

Take care of yourself Lorna…best wishes x x x

[keznmelParticipant]

Thank you for your message Jean. Guilt is a very powerful emotion isn't it? I think it can be a visitor in most situations. Unfortunately, I over think absolutely everything too and scrutinize myself..'have I done enough?' etc..

We have been referred to Counselling, although the last two appointments were cancelled due to the Counselor being poorly. Our next date is the 5th November 2012 and so far so good. I have had counselling before and it really did work for me – I think I had the 'right' counselor which I do agree makes all the difference to the process. On the other hand – I'm not sure how Melvin will deal with it all. He doesn't find it easy to open up at the best of times but we will see. The children are being referred to a Children's Counselling Service but the waiting list seems to be quite long. they do currently see a Mentor at their schools, although it's still early days.

I'm just finding it hard at the moment – as I often do. I know i will be Ok and just get on with it because I have to. Oh… why does life have to be so tough?!

How are things with your husband at the moment? I do hope that things are as well as they can be.

Please keep in touch. I do have a fantastic support network but sometimes it's a relief to speak someone who 'gets it'!

Take care for now Kerry xxx

[keznmelParticipant]

Hiya – it seems to be all go for you at the moment. Fingers crossed that they soon find you a match. Best wishes Kerry and Melvin x

[keznmelParticipant]

Hello Angelina,

I'm sorry that we meet this way. You do seem to have a lot to deal with at the moment and i appreciate what a very anxious time this is for you.

You say that you have had the bone marrow biopsy – have you had the results now? As far as I am aware, this does give an accurate diagnosis of Myeloma. It is my 39 year old partner who has MM but as I am right by his side along this journey I know how daunting this all can be. I know when we were told about Melvin's illness, I came home read everything I could find and I fell to pieces! Melvin is the kind of person who shuts himself away and doesn't want to read anything – so relies upon me greatly in this area.

I'm sure that when you find out the results, the hospital will give you all the information that is relevant to you. There is so much treatment for Myeloma – never give up hope.

I hope to hear from you soon and I hope you are well.

Lots of love Kerry xx

[keznmelParticipant]

Thank you all so so much for replying to me. You all seem such caring people and I look forward to getting to know each and everyone of you. I'm off to bed in a min, it's been a long day in 'my' world today and I'm so tired. We are having a Care Alert Monitor installed tomorrow..and it's 'my birthday' so need my beauty sleep – 37 years old tomorrow!!

I hope you all sleep well – speak soon and thank you so much again.

Lots of love xxxxx

[keznmelParticipant]

Thank you all so so much for replying to me. You all seem such caring people and I look forward to getting to know each and everyone of you. I'm off to bed in a min, it's been a long day in 'my' world today and I'm so tired. We are having a Care Alert Monitor installed tomorrow..and it's 'my birthday' so need my beauty sleep – 37 years old tomorrow!!

I hope you all sleep well – speak soon and thank you so much again.

Lots of love xxxxx

[keznmelParticipant]

Hi Mavis…

Thank you…I will ask for one of those x x

[keznmelParticipant]

Hi Zoe…

It's tough isn't it?! Melvin, my partner is only 38, so young! How is Dan? He sounds like he is having a tough time of it.

Melvin was diagnosed with a solitary plasmacytoma of the spine in December 2011 and had radiotherapy that helped. He is currently in hospital with multiple fractures..now on the ribs…and is being hit full force with Multiple Myeloma. He has a clot on the lung and is receiving IV morphine and antibiotics. We are waiting to find out what treatment he has to have later today.

Have you had lots of information from the Dr's? Myeloma, is such a cruel and complex disease but fortunately there is lots of treatments available …so we have to stay focused and positive!

Keep in touch Zoe….always here if I can help x x x

[keznmelParticipant]

Thank you everyone for your lovely kind thoughts and words of encouragement. It's such a tough time for us.

I hope this finds you all well. Please keep in touch x x x

[keznmelParticipant]

Thank you Bridget,

I hope you are feeling well. Yes, Melvin had radiotherapy for the plasmacytoma on the spine and is having infusions every 4 weeks….however, we are not sure what the next plan is now that he has multiple fractures. He is in hospital at the moment on Iv morphine and antibiotics and the Dr's are having a MDT meeting later today to discuss treatment options. Sooo much to take in!

Keep in touch Love Kerry x x

[keznmelParticipant]

Hi Mavis…Sorry for late reply.

Thank you for your message. I hope you are feeling well.
Melvin is also having bone strengthening infusions every 4 weeks…but he still has these new fractures. His levels seem to have spiked a little but not out of control. He is still in hospital on IV antibiotics and morphine but is having more movement now which is good.
It is such a complex form of cancer isn't it…just feel in constant limbo!

Keep in touch and thank you again. Love Kerry xx

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