Thank you all so much for you kind words and advice. This is all a bit scary and I guess new to me still. I am so glad I was pointed here as reading all the posts I know im not alone and I feel like I belong to another family.
I have told the Children all about the illness and they have just been appointed a 1-1 advisor at school ready for September who they can go and talk to. They are very mature for their age and seem to be dealing with it for now but I know it will be hard for them when treatment starts. I find it hard to answer their questions most of the time as I simply do not have the answers.
The rest of my family are supportive from a distance if that makes sense as some of them (parents) are still not dealing with the news well at all and figure if nothing is happening then they can ignore it. I do have a very best friend who has been very supportive all the way but I feel guilty as he is giving up so much of his time for me and the children that he no longer has a life. I know that is his choice but still feel guilty.
As for the husband. I have come to the conclusion that he never loved me enough anyway as if he did he would be here so I will grieve him and give him the divorce he wants and that is the end of that. The children will eventually move on too as they wont see him as he lives in a different country now. Im finding this really hard to deal with as he was my husband and also my best friend.
I have been in touch with Myeloma uk and requested all the information packs they can supply and had a chat with one of the ladies there which made me feel a little better and I do see some light at the end of this tunnel im in and I will lean on them for support as well as you all.
I do still feel I am being kept in the dark concerning the illness and that the profesionals are only telling me what I need to know at the time and not the whole picture. My specialist nurse is a waste of time and if I have called her or needed to ask something she brushes it off and all she says is wait until your next appointment. Does she not see I need answers?
Im at the stage now where I don't know what im to be looking out for and not sure if the pains I have are related or they are just down to stress etc and im too afraid to ask.
At the moment I have pain in my back, hips, shoulders, neck and legs and suffering really badly with dizziness and my heart is racing. Any ideas ?
All I want to do is sleep and I have put that down to stress with the husband but along with all the other stuff is it stress or the illness?
Have tried to get appointment with gp but nothing until Thursday and the dizziness is driving me crazy as I cant stand or sit as it remains. Im also having trouble with my eyes as they lose focus but again I have put that down to tiredness and lack of sleep and food.
Sorry waffling again.. I think someone just needs to give me a shake to help me lift the mood im in…
Anyway sorry for waffling
Sue x
