It is over 18 months since Gordon died I still speak to him swear at him it does help. I also had a huge meltdown in the week I find coping with his brothers and mother so very difficult it always upsets me, they seem to assume everything is back to normal, back on the brandy and sleeping pills!

Very early days for you gill look…[Read more]

I too had counselling 6 months after Gordon died I was quite looking forward to talking to someone to try to understand how I was feeling and maybe give me some coping strategies. How stupid of me! I had 3 phones calls approx 30 mins each with someone who sounded as though they should have still been at school! What a waste of money,…[Read more]

What a brutal way to give you both news which we all know will come one day but hope against hope that we never will hear.

I was told to take Gordon home, I thought we would have some time together at home to talk and say things we had not yet said. It was not to be Gordon shut us all out and died within 36 hours of…[Read more]

I can only agree with Mavis Min and Eve. Friends and in many cases family have no idea what we are going through, I think some of them think 15 months on I should be over it whatever it is. I first met Gordon when I was 16 he died when I was 58 how on earth does anyone think those years can be passed over. Gill the ache does improve…[Read more]

So sorry to read of the horrid time you have been having. Take care of yourself and Janet thinking of you and your family.

Sarah xx

My love to you and your family. I am sure like me and the others who have lost our loved ones you will contribute to the disscussion group.

With love Sarah

I am so sorry, I was thinking of you both all day today, I cannot pray. Thank goodness he was not in pain at the end. I wish I knew what to say to help you, all I can do is cry for you and your family and his mum, I too had to tell Gordon's 85 and 89 year old parents, it is not right.

My deepest sympathy and love

Sarah

My thoughts are with you…[Read more]

I often pop into the forum, but dont always post. Always pleased to see so many old friends posting merrily or not as the case maybe!
My son and I have just finished lambing our larger than usual flock, very hard at times, Gordon is all over the farm, Charlie my younger son seems to have taken his place on the big red…[Read more]

I look in on the myeloma group now and then, thank you for still thinking of me. I wish I could say I am moving on but it really does not get easier, living and loving another person for 36 tears + is not easily got over!
We are lambing at the moment and I am shattered and too emotional, but we are getting though it with loads of…[Read more]

I have taken the decision that i am not doing christmas cards this year i hate just my name all alone, so i am not doing it! Writing lables with just granny is bad enough.
I do so feel for you Min i am so lucky in having my family here all the time in and out daily, when i am alone, it is terrible and does not get better. I do wonder…[Read more]

love to all sarah

The tree + decorations are sort of up, so difficult, I never expected to be in in this dark place this time last year, thank goodness for grandchildren and little white pills, the memories and flash backs are not good.
with love sarah xx

So sorry you are down, I am too and i dont have the excuse of gordons birthday, i guess the anniversarys are going to be very difficult. i do not think i will send many cards this year cannot cope with one name at the bottom, but grandchildren do help so much.i hope tomorrow is not to difficult will be thinking of you.

sarah xx

Just wrote a huge post and the whole lot dissapeared! Cant do it again! I am glad all went well David all funeral are very personal, I want to go under the tree in the back field, a very special tree.
Eve I do hope slim is feeling better.
love Sarah

What a lovley photo! A real chip off the old block.

Sarah

Very sorry to hear of the passing of your mum. I am sure you have many memories of her and i am so glad she was able to share your special day.
Take care
Sarah

best wishes sarah

keep well

sarah xx

What a tragic loss of such a wonderful sounding women. I go round supermarkets shopping sometimes looking and thinking why not that person or that person i wish i could have some understanding, Gordon and your neice and patrick and peter had a lot more living to do.

My condolances to you and your family.

sarah

Sarah x

with best wishes Sarah

I do so agree with you, do it now tommorow may never come! Gordon,s love was his farm his land, his cattle me and the children came in there somewhere. We did very little travelling in the last few years mainly because everything he wanted was at home. Our last very difficult trip was to go to the Great Yorkshire Show we should not have…[Read more]

Sarah xx

I guess all life and grief is so different to each indervidual person, no relationships is the same, I have no anger towards Gordon leaving me maybe that is yet to come, I just feel so cheated, we at last had some time and financial secutity to enjoy time together and with our beloved grandchildren and it will never happen now. I do…[Read more]

I am knitting for the grandchildren at the moment, i could try to knit a badge! I am not a good knitter but bless them they wear my offerings!!!

with love sarah xx

Did not realise that as time went on grief gets worse, silly me, thought it would get easier, many flashbacks, at this rate i might have to take up the offer of councilling at the hospice.Maybe another family funeral is not helping. Gordons farher died last saturday, his funeral is on thursday thank goodness gordons brothres have…[Read more]