This topic contains 12 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by 
eve 10 years, 5 months ago.
My dad died just under a month ago – after six years it all happened so suddenly. I just needed to tell someone – I miss him so much.
I’m really sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you have good friends and family you can talk to. It’s very tough losing a parent, however old you are.
Do try to find someone to talk to if that would help you.
Sarah
My heart goes out to you. I am thinking of you. It must be so difficult to lose someone that clearly was a great part of your life. I agree with Sarah, I hope that you have family and friends that you can talk to. I hope that you find their love a great support.
I am so sorry to hear your news, i lost my mum in january she was diagnosed with mm in march 2013 and so we did’nt have long its not easy, i have days when i cry and better days when i can recall all of the good things, i feel that she is still around and really hope that this is the case. Easter without her has been hard and i know that it must be very hard for you and the family at this time too. Take care and i so hope that your pain eases soon, not sure about you but i talk to my Mum lots maybe a bit strange but it helps me, love to you San X
lesj, Such sad news for you. I can’t imagine how you must feel but hope you have siblings, friends and family to give you hugs and help you during the forthcoming months. Big hugs x leza
My husband died in September 2012 aged 57. He had had mm for 4 years but the end came very suddenly. The pain will never go completely lesj, but you learn to cope with it. I miss Stephen all the time, but have learnt how to cope.
Hi Les
Just read your post. So sorry for your loss especially as it came so suddenly. I suppose one comfort must be ( and I say this from a patient’s point of view,) at least your a Dad didn’t have months of fighting off the inevitable.
Be kind to yourself. Loss doesn’t go away over night, how can it. Keep bringing good memories of your Dad to mind. He must have loved you heaps for you to miss him so. That was a gift.
I always say” death doesn’t have the final word.”
Lots of love.
Mavis
I lost my ex husband, the father of my 2 youngest children (26/29) on 24th April 2014. No one knew he had Myeloma. He had been diagnosed with crohn’s disease August last year and although with medication he was a lot better, he was still having problems, which the doctors tried to solve with different medication. On 10th April he was so ill, I got him into hospital, where they presumed it was the crohn’s but he got worse, they gave him blood and fluids through a drip but this only went into his tissue not into his veins and he blew up like the Michelin man. They put a tube into his stomache to give him nutrients but this brought on respitary failure and he was put in ICU on a ventilator. They took lots of blood, bone marrow and biopsy from his kidneys but they couldn’t pin point what was wrong and he couldn’t breath properly so was going from oxygen from a nose tube, to a hood ,to a ventilator. On the 23rd April they said there was nothing more they could do and even if they knew exactly what was wrong with him, he was too weak for treatment, he died early hours of the Thursday, less than 2 weeks after being admitted to hospital. It then took a post mortem and an investigation by the coroner to find out it was plasma cell myeloma. Why did they not pick it up before? Is it so difficult to diagnose? To make matters worse for us, my daughter is pregnant with his first grandson and now he won’t see him. Sorry to go on but I needed to write this down and tell someone. To people that have lost family and friends to this disease, I send my thoughts and prayers and love to you
Jane x
Hi Jane
This is so sad to read. It is frightening how often I read about the late diagnosis of myeloma. As it is a very rare cancer, GP’s may only see 1 or 2 cases in their lifetime. So often it is only after a trip to emergency with an unexplained fracture or kidney collapse that the diagnosis is made. For myself a blood test in February 2013 from my GP assured me that all was OK with my body, but by the end of March I was in A&E with a pathological fracture of my collarbone which happened as I alighted from the bath. In my case it was lucky that happened as I had an early diagnosis with only 25% cancer cells in my biopsy. But….according to my GP I was perfectly healthy 2 months before,when in reality I already was suffering with cancer. I had no clue either, believing I was perfectly healthy. Mind you my collarbone had been sore for about 3 months but as I had had a fall a few months previously I blamed that for the soreness. I never would have guessed that the myeloma gremlins (as I call them) were busily dissolving my bones! This is a very cruel, incurable cancer and my heart goes out to you and your family for the lack of diagnosis for your ex husband. Luckily I am in remission now, after a stem cell transplant in January, but one is always waiting for the cancer to return, as it will inevitably.
Carol
Hi Carol
Thank you for your reply, I am happy you are in remission but am unhappy it will return, I pray a miracle will happen for you and all suffers.
I wrote on here not just for me but for my daughter as well. She doesn’t understand how this could happen to her dad and so quickly. I will show her your reply and I hope this will help her come to terms with our loss. As you can imagine our grief is still raw and I sit here with tears running down my cheeks, I was still very close to Richard, but I try to think that at least he didn’t suffer for long and he is now at peace. please keep in touch and let me know how you are doing
Jane
Hello Jane i am so sorry for your loss, sadly myeloma is not always picked up quickly and i suppose that the crohns disease masked some early symptoms?, we lost Mum in january and know how hard it is for you all and so sudden for you all, you have a lovely grandchild coming a little light for the family, i send you love and so hope that your pain eases soon it will take time and a lot of coming to terms with however as you say your dear husband did not suffer for long and is now at peace and that is a blessing, San X
Thank you for your words and I am sorry for your loss also. I believe the crohns masked the symptoms, especially as the meds seemed to be working albeit slowly
This will be my 6th grandson, no granddaughters, as I have children by a different husband, and Richard looked upon them as his grandsons, this would of been his first biological grandson and it breaks my heart to know he will never see him and my daughter can’t have her dad with her at that special time, Take care and always remember the good times you had with your mum. Jane x
Hi Les and also Janey
They say grief has different stages ,the frustration of not being able to do anything,the anger that the death has caused,and the emotional side of coming to terms with everything that has gone on,some are able to talk about it many are not.
I do not think you can learn these things or get any experience until you go through a death of a loved one,so the emotions you are going through are very normal,but what will come out of your experience,is a lot more understanding in the future of people going through the same thing,
Les if you feel the need to talk about your Dad this forum is always here,but remember the good times,!!!
Janey you are still at the Why!!! Stage,your ex husband is like most men,general health!!!! There are lots of different symptoms,Myeloma is usually picked up in hospitals not the GP surgeries,by then,damage to the body is very clear and Myeloma is at stage 3.it does sound if your husband had other complications as well.
I can only say to you both,Myeloma can make people confused,and patients often can not remember much about there illness,so your loved ones did not know they were suffering,some times it’s harder on the person watching than on the patient,I hope you take some comfort from that.
Eve
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