Hubby had yet another infection this week. Temp and fast heart rate. Developed diarohea and a stool sample grew C Diff. Probably caused by the chemo and the anti biotics he had for his last infection. It seems just as you think you are coping something else comes along to knock you back. I am also really struggling when hubby talks about the future and dying. We might not know how long we have but I can deal with the thought of losing him. I am going tomnphone Macmillan and ask for someone to come and talk to me. Unfortunately my own health problmes don’t help and are flaring up on a regular basis now.
Hi I do not usually reply without knowing some back ground,as this site is open,!!!
You are obviously going through a very hard time,and had to cope with a lot in a very short stretch of time,this can be very hard as it does take time to get your head in the correct frame of mind,everyone is going to tell you,you must look after yourself,but you will be very surprised how much adrenal you can live on!!!!
I am not going to try to tell you everything will be alright,but if he does get over this hurdle and lives to fight another day,you could have more years ahead of you,it has been done,and you will not regret those years,I can only say do not right hubby off,as long as he has a strong will to live,be there right beside him ,it will take him a long way.!!!!
As for the present,you must do what ever helps you,from counselling to pills if need be!!!
My own personal view is let your husband talk about anything!!! But make him promise to live as you do not want to loose him,let him make his choices with the knowledge he is not a burden to you,!!if you are crying he will think he is a burden!!!
So get some pills to control your emotions,make every day special,and do not worry about tomorrow and spoil today,if that does not work,give yourself a kick up the bum,except life as it is,all these organisations and experts,may have read the books!!! But this is your husbands and your roller coaster ride!!with all it’s ups and downs,yes scare,but you both can learn so much from it.
Andy would say every day is a gift,open it. So would I. Eve
When I was first diagnosed I was in and out of hospital frequently and didn’t think I would have very long. Talking about my diagnosis with anyone who’d listen helped me get everything into perspective and helped he come to terms with my myeloma.
We were married 3 days after the word myeloma came into our lives. Like I said previously the first 3 months or so I was in and out of hospital and doped up with painkillers. That all start in Oct 2011 and even though the medics have struggled to treat my myeloma I’m still hanging on in there.
It’s good your going to talk to some one they will put things into perspective for you and hopefully tell you what you can and can’t influence so you can channel your energies productively.
Don’t be afraid to talk about the future and dying as it’s your hubbies way of coping though it’s not doing you much good at the moment I believe the more you talk the easier it’ll