My beautiful brother

This topic contains 12 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  Nicola2708 12 years, 7 months ago.

Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
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  • #107534

    jmsmyth
    Participant

    My lovely brother Derek passed away this morning at 4.10am surrounded by his wife, son, daughter, 3 sisters and 3 brothers. Although not from Myeloma -from Cancer – from diagnoses to his passing was 10 months. He was – up to the last minute confident that he was going to beat this terrible illness. I sat with him on the Friday and all that was on his mind that he would be here to see his daughter, Alex celebrate her 19th birthday which is on Thursday. This was not to be. He will be buried on Wednesday, there is only 15 months between us and it is like I have lost my other half. He told me that in a way he was lucky as he would be the first to see our mum and dad. Derek was one of life's gentlemen – and he will be sorely missed by his wife's, children and extended family.
    Jean xx

    #107535

    Gill
    Participant

    Oh Jean

    I was so sorry to read your post. Both Stephen and I are only children so have no idea what it must be like to lose a brother or sister. We both regret not having siblings to share our worries with but maybe it's not a bad thing.

    I do hope that Alex's celebration of her birthday is that! A celebration of 19 years of life with a little bit of celebration for her Dad's life too.

    Love from Gillxx

    #107536

    eve
    Participant

    Hi Jean

    So sorry to hear your news,even if it is expected,you still feel the blow.
    Do people take comfort that people they love are no longer suffering,or feel there is no justice that some ones life has been cut short,and they will miss so much of loved ones future lives.
    You have your faith Jean,this must give you some comfort,I hope the future brings happy days.Eve

    #107537

    brocho
    Participant

    Dear Jean I am so sorry your brother has gone From your description he sounds like a lovely man Hang on to a lifetimes memories Jean he will always be a part of you . I hope Alex is able to celebrate her birthday too I hope you can take some comfort that you were able to be with him Jean . lots of love Bridget x

    #107538

    tom
    Participant

    Dear Jean

    I am so sorry to read about your Brother has been taken.

    May I send you and His Family and Friends My Condolences and Prayers.

    Love and Hugs to you all at this Sad Time.

    Tom xxx

    #107539

    DaiCro
    Participant

    I am so sorry for your loss Jean… I too am close to my brother (14 months) and I know that he worries about me constantly. I hope that you and the rest of your brother's family find solace and comfort in each other at this time.

    Regards

    Dai.

    #107540

    jmsmyth
    Participant

    Hi all

    Thank you all for your lovely words. Derek was buried yesterday and if a funeral can be described as "nice" – it was nice. Derek's neighbour is a lay preacher and they had been friends since Derek moved in 14 years ago. Billy knew Derek very well and he conducted the proceedings. It was nice to listen to someone who really knew him. Then a young neighbour who Derek 'adopted' spoke about him as well. Derek had asked her to speak for him after he had gone. She is only 18 and did very well. It was a beautiful hot sunny day.

    Eve it's is a bit of both. I am glad that Derek is no longer in pain but it just doesn't seem right that he could not have had longer. I fell out with God when my mum was dying -30 years ago and we did not speak for 24 years, but we talk now.

    Gill I am so glad to read about Stephen. Hope you have a fantastic time in France.
    Sorry about going on so long. Thanks again

    Love jean xx

    #107542

    DaiCro
    Participant

    It was untimely but I am so pleased for you that the farewell was both fair and well. Billy sounds like the sort of person you would like to lead you out… as for me I am opting for a DIY… on CD with pauses for whoever `i choose as my frontman… most likely my daughter Amy, a professional singer and used to the tech. I have included brief slots for my three children – Amy, Becky and Ross but the rest… music, a poem and my epilogue etc., will be all me. A bit eerie perhaps but what I want…. and part of me will be there in spirit and voice.

    Derek sounds like someone I could have been a good friend to/with – I love the idea of his adopted daughter (I have three children, two step-daughters – whom I am close too but they were adult 17/19 when I met Janet, 35 and 39 next – and an epileptic young woman – under intense care at all times – who lost her father and step-father whom she loved equally, at a very young age – 7 & 15. I 'adopted' her 5 years ago and I have encouraged her with her music… she is back in Wales and playing in 2 duo's and a folk dance band using several instrument, including sax, guitar and cello.

    I too lost my beloved grandmother, her son, my father, a few years later and a very, very close friend and fellow musician/singer at the age of 50 quite recently. I have never lost God but these days I look for him inside, never out. I believe that there is that of God in every person and that is where I look first… I always find 'that' and then i am obliged by my conviction (not faith) to treat that person accordingly. That means courtesy, respect, and a universal love. It also means I could never bear arms or go to war against any nation… because nations are made out of individual people and each person etc., etc.,.

    Much love to you at this time Jean, I can sympathise and empathise and although it is far from your compass I can feel your pain too.

    Dai.
    Click on the link below for an audio rendition… it will play automatically. 🙂

    http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=8554762

    [b]In Everything

    Verse 1[/b].
    I am a grown man;
    Look at me I?m crying
    Ok, there?s no shame in crying
    But it seems I do it all the time
    It has been a good while
    Since you passed and went your own way
    Now all that?s left is memory
    That never seems to fade

    [b]Chorus: [/b]
    So here I am and I?m reaching out
    I can?t touch but I still feel
    I hear your voice, I see your face; they?re not real
    I catch a smile on a TV show, I hear a Robin sing
    I see you in everything
    I hear you in everything

    Instrumental Break

    [b]Verse 2. [/b]
    I have a good woman
    She is standing right beside me
    If needs be, she will carry me
    I am burden she can bear
    But sometimes, on the other side
    I feel your hand upon my shoulder
    When your shadow falls behind me
    I know that somehow you?re still there

    [b]Chorus: [/b]
    So here I am and I?m reaching out
    I can?t touch but I still feel
    I hear your voice, I see your face; they?re not real
    I catch a smile on a TV show, I hear a Robin sing
    I see you in everything
    I hear you in everything

    [b]Break: [/b]
    I walk your walk I know it
    One day I?ll walk with you again
    And when I see you, in the mirror
    I know your smile will ease my pain

    [b]Chorus: [/b]
    So here I am and I?m reaching out
    I can?t touch but I still feel
    I hear your voice, I see your face; they?re not real
    I catch a smile on a TV show, I hear a Robin sing
    I see you in everything
    I hear you in everything
    Tag:
    And I am you in everything

    #107541

    Gill
    Participant

    I am so pleased that everything went well and you all had a chance to celebrate Derek's life as well as mourning his death

    Kindest thoughts Gill xx

    #107543

    tom
    Participant

    Jean

    I am so pleased that the day went well and the service was what Derick would have wanted.

    Take Care and am sending (((Hugs))))

    Love and Hugs

    Tom xxx

    #107544

    jmsmyth
    Participant

    Thank you Dai your words, they are beautiful and I'm so glad you you shared them. Thanks Tom you are always there with hugs and there is nothing as comforting than a hug.
    Love Jean x

    #107545

    Helen
    Participant

    Dear Jean
    I can't imagine losing one of my sisters (I have 3) we are all quite close and they have our shared childhood memory. I'm glad the funeral went well, nice to have a minister with the personal connection.
    Take care
    Helen

    #107546

    Nicola2708
    Participant

    Dearest Jean

    I Lost my dad 3 weeks ago today, it feels like a great big hole has been left in my life. So i can understand how much you must miss your brother, like you we were there to hold his hand. People keep telling me time is a great healer, may be this is true. Hope Alex was able to enjoy some of her birthday.

    Much love to you all.

    Nicola x

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