[eveParticipant]

Hi Everyone

Many of you won,t know me,as you will be newbies! But the old crowd will,the reason I am writing this,is that Slim always worried how I would manage once he died.

I have decided to let you know what has happened to me,I lost Slim one year ago on the 27 of August and I suppose it’s reflection time,although not a day goes by without me thinking of him.
Looking back I cannot remember the August Bank holiday at all,it feels like I was not there,my girls were a tremendous support and dealt with anything I could not do.

I was glad the financial side was done before Slims death,as officialdom wanted to obliterate him completely ,I was not ready to let that happen.i cannot explain the paper work that comes through the letter box ,when you are not in the frame of mind to deal with it.

Now to me,a widow,well I learn,t to take long walks with the wind blowing in my face,so you can hide the tears,my old dog (poor thing) went on a diet no more bacon butties,he found a new lease of life,thinner and now has a doggy buggy,so I can get out more.
Took me a long time to decide what I wanted to do,but I knew what I did not want to do,((if that makes sense)). I decided I wanted to carry on in my Motorhome,so this summer I have travelled in England and hope to go to France soon.
Many many first to get through,and many ambushers,stupid things,like looking at a shirt and thinking Slim would like that ( wohhh it hits you )
As a person you do change,but you cannot just dismiss 34 years of your life,!!!
So for all you lovely people who are fighting Myeloma or caring for someone with Myeloma and are worried about your future,or your partners future.
It’s ok,different,when the Myeloma Bubble burst,you have to learn to swim.!!!!
I live every day to the fullest,and try to fulfil Slims wish to be happy.

I do still think about all you lovely people who got me through those 4 years.

[annlynnParticipant]

its so lovely that youve popped in to the forum to update us. Eve i always read your posts and really loved your. very comman sense approach to mm i always thought how very lucky sllim was to have you by his side . I came out of the freeman hospital after my sct the same time you lost your belovedd slim. i alw as ys remember thinking iif i can be as strong as this man. ill be ok glad your doing ok enjoy your moterhome it sounds like its keeping. you going. lots of love Ann xx

[eveParticipant]

Thank you Ann

I have come along way in the last 5 years, 4 years of Slims illness and 1 year on my own,it’s a big learning curve,and I still look in on cyber friends,see how Tom or Andy plus a few others if they don,t post on the Facebook site UK Myeloma ,I worry. So Myeloma never really leaves my world although Slim has gone.

I just wanted to say to people try not to worry so much about after,and make the most of now,those 4 years prepared me in many ways,gave me a voice,confidence and made me realise that Slim fought so hard to live but died,so I will do my best to not waste one day living the happiest I can,you mourn for their life as the disease takes hold,and you mourn for your future without them after.
Take care,never give up hope. Eve

[rebeccaRParticipant]

Hi Eve, It is so nice to hear from you again – I used to read your posts and digest your messages with interest. I think posters often don’t realise what a help and comfort they are to so many – it is only a small % I am sure who actually post but a large % who read and it is very unselfish to give your feelings and thoughts to cyber strangers – so thank you. I still adopt your “not worrying” phrase as my own now and at one time it was somewhat of a mantra of mine to get my head in gear. I am glad your message now (and as always) is that life is for the living – I will definitely impart that message on my way out. It is very brave of you to continue your travels on your own but then you know all about bravery and that it’s the only way to be/live. I hope you have lots of happy adventures and find real happiness again. Glad you are a becoming a strong swimmer!
Best wishes,

Rebecca

[eveParticipant]

Hi Rebecca

I have just looked into your profile as no picture! And see how much you are now helping other people, I know I was too blunt at times! But you seemed to be able to get the message across very well, this is the way it should be,helping each other on this journey,then leaving that road and going on a different one.

It makes all of us very strong people,out of adversity comes people with understanding plus compassion ,I would like to say I wouldn,t change anything,but I am not there yet,I suppose it’s an acceptance that it was Slims time,I felt very lucky to have had the time I did even the bad years.
As Andy would say life is a gift unwrap it and enjoy, love Eve

[DizzylizParticipant]

Hello eve, lovely to hear from you and that you
Are living your life as slim would want you to,
I too have not been on for a while and felt the
Need to return after kev relapsed! He has today
Had his stem cell transplant no.2 this very day!
It’s been a bit daunting coming back on and not
Seeing the familier names on the forum but the
All the new people are all there for each other
And that’s what makes this forum special.
Keep well eve your an inspiration!
Love Liz xx

[stanley-1960Participant]

Hi Eve,

Glad you took the time to post and update us all on the next chapter of your life. So pleased your managing to live your life with so much positivity. Im sure Slim would be very proud of you.

Best regards,

Stanley

[eveParticipant]

Thank you

I do hope your journey,s are long and the best you can make of them,Liz it’s best to escape the roller coaster as we all know it’s going to pass your way again,and Myeloma should not become normality,but in the end it’s the only thing you know.

Thank you both again,Stanley,Slim was always proud of me, but he is more likely to come back and haunt me,!!!!! If I did not enjoy the rest of my life.

[dickbParticipant]

Hi eve,

So good to hear from you again. Your posts about Slim and your life were really a bit of inspiration at times and sometimes full of hope as well as sadness. I have to say that you along with Tom and Vasibite helped me in particular to deal with MM.

Life has moved on for all of us and although I do not have the self determination and will of Slim I have achieved my own little successes against MM. Stay in touch please we all need a bit of inspiration sometimes as well as a kick up the back side sometimes. (My wife does that at the moment but she needs a break from it).

Richard

[annlynnParticipant]

Richard. just read to post to eve wich is. very true about us all needing. inspirational people on the forum. we all need the encouragement . Have you hear how tom is. always read his posts but he doesnt come on. the forum. im. not. on. facebook. Ann x

[eveParticipant]

Hi Richard
Nice to know you are still here!!,any one know how David is?????? Or Jo!!!!.

Just for the record Tom is just starting his second SCT, .
He has grabbed life by the throat,and making the most of it,holidays family and his lovely wife living life to the full. Tom has one thing on his mind on ward and upward!!!!!!

It’s a pity Jet and Wendy don,t post,think Jet is doing well and Wendy is breaking new ground with a SCT from an Australian Baby cord transplant so breaking new ground,these are the people you need to inspire you,there alive and living,breaking new ground,. Eve

[dickbParticipant]

Sorry Ann, haven’t heard from Tom as I don’t use social media either. I’m sure if anything happens he will post and let us know. As for David, I wonder if he’s finished his coffin yet.

Richard

[jmsmythParticipant]

Hi Eve

I also am on site very rarely but Was great to read your post. Enjoy our scrabble. Eve I’m sorry to have to tell you but JoJo passed away on 15 February. We kept in touch and her daughter Paula emailed Tom and myself to say she died of heart failure. She was such a lovely woman and I do miss our “chats”. This damn disease – and now the cuts to essential drugs. I hope the decision makers are never in the place that we are

Enjoy your road trips – wish I had your bravery. Take care and enjoy

Love Jean x

[eveParticipant]

Hi Jean,

Strange ,although we are Facebook friends,we keep Myeloma locked away ,its the way it should be!!!, I really enjoy the scrabble as well,I would take more games on with you,but will be heading for France soon!! But I do envy your cruises,it’s so nice to see you are making the most of your time,long may it last.

Thanks for the news on Jo,she didn,t do Facebook ,neither did David,it does make corresponding much easier,the UK Myeloma site has a good crowd on,may be not as informative,I believe Ellen is on there now which must be good.

I posted on here,as I think it’s important to tell people when your real fears come about,because of what we go through we come out a stronger person, I just remember Slim being so worried about me,so if it helps people and gives them peace of mind and they try not to worry to much about the future,it must help. Love Eve

[bandityogaParticipant]

Hi Eve

Good to hear you are off on your travels, if you are ever around our way, give us a call, it would be nice to meet up.

I was sorry to hear about Jo and miss all the people who helped me when Ian was first diagnosed as I wasn’t coping at all. You helped me a great deal as did Dai, Eva, David and Scot. I haven’t heard anything from David in a long while. I am now a stronger although still get anxious and have learnt a lot about myeloma. I hope I can help someone else although everyone is different. Ian’s consultant was very abrupt and not helpful so he now has a new consultant who is much better, although we do see other consultants.

Keep in touch.

Maureen x

We are in a good place just now as Ian is in remission 3 months post SCT and we are off to Ibiza soon.

[Author]

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