Thanks to Helene Cygnet and Yvonne for their kind words as I tie myself in knots anticipating my appt on Monday. Hlelene- you’re so right and I keep on reminding myself that being a smoulderer is a time of good health-not to be taken for granted. Although I know this, it’s just not sinking in very well at this precise moment in time. I phoned the info line and spoke to a lovely nurse called Ellen and it was so cathartic to be able to be honest and take my mask off. I recognise that everyone around me needs to see me being strong and positive because if I crumble, they crumble. It was nice for me to have the opportunity to crumble. I could indulge my self-pity and have a cry. I came off the phone and continued crying and then, I washed my face, put some moisturiser on and went to collect my kids from school and I felt relief and tiredness and was in a calmer place. I now realise that I just needed to allow myself to cry. I think I’m nearly okay now.
