Hi Eve,

I'm afraid his long life dream and what he has worked for for all of these years has been shattered and I think this has got a lot to do with it, and the fact he won't be able to see himself sat in a chair doing nothing, would to coin a phrase kill him.

I can only think he has thought about this for a while, and looked at the…[Read more]

Hi Eve,

He is in hospital waiting to go onto the hospice, he is having palliative care, he has only just come off all his drips, so if he settles down now and nothing else happens he should be there soon.
He is getting all the support we can give him, also he has a dietician, but he still isn't eating, he's had all the drinks that are…[Read more]

Hi Gill,
Howard has had every kind of build up drink going, he just doesn't seem interested in food or drink.

Hi, I think I'm replying to my own message, anyhow, things have really taken a bad turn, Howard won't be going to Macmillan on Wednesday for his chemo, he has lost another stone, he is so weak, all the doctors and nurses involved know of his condition, he will be going into a Hospice probably end of the week.
He really needs help he hasn't eaten…[Read more]

Hi Mari,
Thankyou for your reply, we have just got back from the Haematologist at Blackpool, they took Howards bloods and pressure, bloods are doing nicely they are coming down, his pressure was a bit low but they weren't worried about that, after this a really nice doctor spoke to Howard he was unable to answer most of her questions, he has…[Read more]

Hi Dai,
Thankyou for your support, I am having a very bad morning with him, he is pacing about, confused, can't keep still, banging his feet, I have got the doctor coming soon, I have been told this could be the dex, he came off it four days ago, but this is the first time this has happened.
I have taken on board what you have been saying, just…[Read more]

Hi Eva,
Howard is on his third cycle, on the trial, I don't think it's the painkillers that are making him like this he has been on them since last October.
I'm not sure about sleeping tablets, he has only been like this for a couple of days, I'm sure it's got to do with his frustration of not being able to do what he used to. He was a very…[Read more]

Hi Gill,
Yes it is hard to take, watching them change, I didn't understand it at first, I thought Howard was just having a go at me, which is not his usual personality.
I am learning slowly, but at the moment I'm finding it very difficult, I am going to have a couple of days break with my daughter, let's hope this recharges my batteries and…[Read more]

Hi Teresa,
Not the best of days today, I've finally broke down, far too much to think about, Howard is back on chemo, very confused, asking me what he should be doing all the time.
Our middle daughter came today to see her dad, and I just broke down, she listened to my problems and asked me to go and stay over with her for a couple of days, I…[Read more]

Hi Tom,
Good to hear from you, I am so overwhelmed by the response I have got, I thought I'll give it a go but certainly didn't expect so many replies.
It really is a good site and I'm sure it will help me get through.
You take care.
Love Gail xx

Hi Andy,
I really feel for you both, doesn't it just come and hit you. We had just retired and Howard has been building a steel yacht for us to live on, just when we thought we could really get on this happens.
That is the end of his dream, we will have to take a completely different course now, I really feel for him, he has worked so hard all…[Read more]

Hi Carol,
Yes I will take your advise, I feel when I have to go out I rush round thinking I have to be back quickly.
Howard is never left on his own, so I need to back off a bit and have a coffee and just chill.
We are off to the Macmillan Unit at Blackpool today for his third cycle, could you tell me when they decide he can have SCT.
Thankyou…[Read more]

Hi Carol,
Thankyou for your support, I now feel I have a place to go when the going get's tough. I have had really down moments but you have to stay tough for them, I would never let Howard see how it is affecting me(not just yet anyway)he has enough on his plate at the moment.
I can't thankyou all enough, it looks like I'll be a regular visitor…[Read more]

Hi,
Thankyou all so very much, I really feel for you all in your different circumstances, as a carer I don't feel I have the right to complain, especially when I have in front of me a very sick man trying so hard to come to terms with his life being put on hold.
I now feel I have a place to come for information, or just to vent my feelings to…[Read more]

Hi Teresa,
Thankyou for your support, I wish I had found this site a lot sooner, It really would of helped with all the frustration, anger, sadness, why us feelings.
Please don't apologise, I got a bit mixed up and posted on both, you take care, and hope to speak to you soon.
Love Gail

Hi Jim,
My husband is on the trial, he is into his third cycle, I honestly thought his treatment would of been monitored a lot better, he only goes in every month for bloods and drugs, the actual doctor who you are seen by only comes in at the end to have a brief chat, my husband is beginning to feel like a number not a person.
We were told at…[Read more]

Hi Helen,
Thankyou for replying, yes he was ill before this, we retired March 2011 to get on with a steel yacht he was building for us to live on, everything was going fine until about Sept, he was needing to sleep a lot and having severe back and side pain, to the point of shouting out in agony, this was awful.
Of course he wouldn't go to the…[Read more]

Hi, Eve and Pat, Oh my goodness you feel all alone through all of this, I cannot thankyou both enough for your kind words and how very similar our experiences are.
Howard was also in severe pain for 4 months, it was only my insistance to the doctor that he went to hospital for tests that this came about.
It certainly is hard to watch the man you…[Read more]