Just be kind to yourself. If you want a duvet day have one or two. I had weeks
Of duvet days in those early days getting up to feed the dogs and walk them then
Going back to bed to feel sorry for myself as there was little else I felt able
It's exhausting grieving.
Everyone will tell you it gets better. In fact you adjust to the pain…[Read more]
I Empathise entirely with you Sue.
When I found myself alone, I was terrified to go upstairs, my home was like Blackpool illuminations!
My poor dogs who needed to be let out last thing at night never got let out as I was terrified to open the back door.
Someone rang the door bell one night and sat shaking like a gibbering wreck.
Being alone…[Read more]
I found shopping one of the hardest things to do after Peter died.
I kept seing things I liked or knew he liked and wanted to buy them for him.
It took a while for me to stop looking at the kind of things that upset me.
But groceries are another taboo. I still cant stop myself buying for two!
Dont think I will ever get used to many…[Read more]
On the contrary Eve, I don't believe in a god that causes so much suffering to so many.
But I do believe there is something, after death.
I like to believe my husband is around me often as I can smell him. My son and daughter in law told me they could smell him in there brand new car yesterday.
How can that be?
The elephant in the room…[Read more]
Hope your weekend goes as well as you hope,
If you feel the need get in touch.
May I suggest when you come to scatter his ashes you keep a small portion to sew into one of his handkerchiefs.
You can put it under your pillow, or carry it in your hand bag knowing he is always with you.
I have made several little pouches for me and…[Read more]
Im so sorry you find yourself alone. Im pleased Michaels send off went perfectly.
In the coming weeks the reality will hit you, and a slow dawning of the fact that he is not on another stay in hospital will sink in.
Whilst one part of you is relieved that his suffering is at an end, the other part will realise that your job is done.…[Read more]
I wish you and your family strength to bear the coming days and weeks.
Know that you have helped Michael feel at peace and when he is ready and not a moment sooner he will go in the knowledge that he was loved dearly, and wait in that special place for the day you will be together again.
You will always carry your fondest memories…[Read more]
I'm so so sorry you find yourself in this position. The feeling of being alone and not knowing what to do next or for the best is bewildering. Especially when you are undergoing so much stress.
I don't know what to say to help or make you feel better. But please look up The Liverpool care plan.
I believe you and your husband…[Read more]
I understand why you want to be alone. That's how I wanted it. But I wasn't allowed.
I don't know what is worse being on your own, or putting on a pleasant face for those who don't want to see you miserable.
You have to experience the loss of your bestest friend and confidant, lover and carer, because with the best will in the world,…[Read more]
Neighbours can amaze you when you least expect it.
I'm glad you have someone nearby,and hope it has helped you feel less alone.
Michael is still with you and now is the time to say what needs to be said, in order that you have no regrets. It is also the time to get Macmillan nurses involved as they are there for YOU too. Coping alone…[Read more]
I had my bereavement counselling with cruse 8 months after Peter died. They have a situation in which they do not like to see anyone until 6 months are up.
The 6 month time seams to be THE most raw and painful time when it all hits home that this is real.
I cried throughout the entire series of 6 sessions but at the end felt better…[Read more]
I am now at 14months and felt I was doing well, I was at a party with about 50 widows on Friday night and on Saturday attended a memorial service for all patients who died it Critical Care Unit,.
I sobbed and sniffed thru the entire service which was beautiful and along with others in my pew blew our noses during the loud…[Read more]
I can see she was particularly insensitive, but its done and she has given you the opportunity to prepare. Not many people get that opportunity, often dying suddenly whilst still hoping as I did with Peter so grasp the moments you share, to discuss all the .things you have been afraid to confront. Talk until you are horse and…[Read more]
I know how you feel, modern day society has no place for death. We all know we are going to die but no one wants to discuss it. Its the last social taboo.
I went out to lunch on Saturday with four lovely ladies from my group. I had only met one of them before but we talked non stop about our husbands, there death , our reactions to…[Read more]
Here is my two pennies worth.
Peter had had a double heart bypass 8 years before his MM. Stress off the richter scale as daughter had booked her wedding in New York which co- incided with his op.
Fast forward 8 years and diagosis of MM. I knew in my heart of hearts because of how poorly he was at diagnosis there would be little chance of him…[Read more]
I am so sorry Rachel, he was far too young to die, and had so much more to give. My thoughts go out to you at a very sad time. My husband died in much the same way, from infection and the shock is too much to bear, when you have so much hope.
Please take good care of yourself and know I am thinking of you
How did the Traipsing go Dai? Cant wait to hear all about it in glorious Technicolor and you usual ? prose? some photos wont go amiss too.
Waiting with baited breath
ps hows my book coming on?
This is an accurate guide on how I as a widow would have wanted people to be aware of. Its not my own work but it covers all the bases
I hope those of you who are in the early days of losing a loved one can find some comfort in distributing it to those who are unable to understand grief and all its complexities, when you simply don't have the…[Read more]