Hi Min I dont know how I managed to miss this post till now It makes my heart ache to hear you describe your pain and not be able to give you any comfort You and Peter were robbed of the time when you could reap the benefits of years of hard work and raising a family and it just doesnt seem fair. I agree we dont acknowledge the effects of death on those left behind , we have become a society where institutions take over rather than familiesMy mother talks of people being brought home before the funeral so that everyone could openly grieve and I am sure this must have helped As you say death is a certainty for us all , with or without mm. I hope you can get your anaemia sorted soon so that physically you will feel stronger . I imagine you are already at your daughters and I am sure the company of your granchildren will help a lot , small children arent frightened of speaking about someone who has gone are they, my son said he could smell grandads pipe for months after my dad died Hang in there Min we are here when you need us and I think of you often lots of love Bridget x