Hello, Treakle.
Finding out that your Dad has myeloma must be scary but he and you will cope with it. I was diagnosed, aged 58, in August 2007, just a year after my husband died, so I have had to cope with the various treatments and attendant problems on my own. Yes, I have a wonderful family but I can’t and don’t expect them to run round after me. They have their own lives to lead and knowing that I can call them in a crisis is enough. In fact, I would go so far as to say that dealing with this rotten illness has made me stronger. From the sound of it, your Dad will cope wonderfully once he gets over the shock.
Don’t try to whisk him away on holiday immediately. He will have enough to contend with coping with the initial treatment. He is bound to feel a bit off colour but it’s doable. Once he finishes the first round, then he will probably be offered a stem cell transplant. I didn’t have one because I couldn’t face the thought of being ill and stuck in the house on my own, but he may decide otherwise. Making your own decisions is very important so talk things through with him but leave the ultimate decision to him, no matter how hard it is.
I have undergone a series of different treatments and they have all been bearable. I have also travelled abroad extensively and certainly haven’t locked myself away, fearful of catching all sorts of bugs. With two small grandchildren and a lot of friends, I am out and about as much as possible. Yes, my life has changed. I have several fractures to my spine, plus extensive damage to my ribs which obviously has had an effect, and I get tired more quickly but I enjoy a very good quality of life. Your Dad will too.
This isn’t the end for him. It’s just a new phase in his life, one that everyone wishes hadn’t happened, granted, but he will learn how to deal with it as you will too.
Good luck to you both.
Sue.
