susannah.

  • susannah replied to the topic 3 years in the forum End of Life and Grief 6 years, 7 months ago

    Hi Gill This is the first time ive looked at the site for ages, I often wonder how the rest of you are coping. Its its two and a half years since Michael died like you some days it seems longer than others I to have done things that I never thought I never would .but I always believe Michael is with me. Would be nice to catch up drop me a…[Read more]

  • susannah replied to the topic SLIM in the forum End of Life and Grief 7 years, 8 months ago

    Dear Eve I am so sorry Slim has passed away, and I hope everything went well for you on Tuesday.
    I remember you when Michael was in his final days and the comfort you gave me with your kind words.
    Love and Hugs
    Suexx

  • Hi Gill no what you mean about songs, I don’t know if its because were more aware, I keep hearings songs from the past which meant a lot to us both, they seem to be playing all the time or have they always been played and I took them for granted ( god I do ramble on sometimes, but I know what I mean)
    Strange isn’t it I feel worse now than I did 9…[Read more]

  • Hi all I must say that I do agree about the trials being more important than the person. When Michael was on the Bendamustine trial there were regular phone calls asking what if any side effects he was getting and even when he had to stop treatment (this was because he had very low platelets and the trial criteria stated he could not be given any…[Read more]

  • susannah replied to the topic Keith Hindmarch in the forum End of Life and Grief 9 years ago

    Dear Sue I am so sorry to hear about Keith another sad loss to Multiple Myeloma, my heart goes out to you and your family

    God Bless
    Suex

  • susannah replied to the topic Keith Hindmarch in the forum General 9 years, 1 month ago

    My thoughts are with Keith and his wife Sue. I always remember Keith from the old site when I was fighting for Velcade for Michael, he was always there to support me. God bless you Keith.
    Love
    Suex

  • Dear Dai Michael was in a similar position with the Bendamustine except his was low platelets, he had reduced doses missed cycles because of his low count but his consultant wouldn't give him a transfusion. Looking back we should have taken it further, but we assumed she was right. Saying that he did receive GCSF injections. I thought quality of…[Read more]

  • Dear Dai Your resting place sounds perfect, im afraid Michaels is more of what feels right as we never really talked about his ashes, lets hope its something Janet wont have to carry out for a very long time. The Major Oak is a no no wouldhave been ok about 40years ago.
    Hi Tina Min mentioned she had some of Peters ashes sewn into little bags,…[Read more]

  • Oh Gill what a lovely photo, at least nothing can take those away from us

    Love
    Suex

  • Hi All went to Scarborough at the weekend, Michaels birthday on the 6th and our wedding anniversary on the 8th. Myself and my daughters went to scatter his ashes, everything was perfect the weather, the hotel we even found the perfect spot, but I couldn't do it. So we bought him home, and to be honest Im so pleased we did its our anniversary today…[Read more]

  • susannah replied to the topic Two and a half years in the forum General 9 years, 1 month ago

    Dear Eve Im so sorry to read about Slims relapse its so hard to watch someone you love suffer but I know from all the kindest and support youve given me that you will get through this blip. A more positive note Revlimid worked well for Michael he had total remission for a good couple of years with little or no side effects and that was without any…[Read more]

  • Hi When Michael was given 3months to live by his consultant, the reaction of most people was, but he looks so well, and then avoided us like the plague.
    My family used to say people were frightened of upsetting you, but we were already upset and this added to the situation.
    Even now after his death when I go outside the front door, neighbours…[Read more]

  • Hi Tina I havent worked for the past 6months,I had to stop as all the hospital visits,trials etc became to much for me to carry on full time. Looking back now im pleased I did as I was able to spend all my days with Michael not really believing they would be his last. Work have kept my job open for me, I will probably go back at some point,perhaps…[Read more]

  • Dear All You are such a lovely bunch of people. Tina i will almost certainly be the same with Michaels clothes I cant even open the door, but I do keep his dressing gown on the back of the airing cupboard door and in the morning I wrap my nightie inside it, see Ive just started myself off again.
    Tina do you still work?

    Love
    Suex

  • Dear Min When I read your post it made me smile ( and cry )especially the bit about someone at the door, that is my worse nightmare. i thought about grtting another dog (lucy our chocolate lab died 1year ago) but then I thought perhaps I should wait a while.
    The club sounds good perhaps in a couple of months time, or im I jumping the gun.
    Hoping…[Read more]

  • Dear Min That is a lovely idea, I had decided not to collect his ashes until the day before we scatter them. dont ask me why I just find it a bit spooky, silly isnt it he never hurt me when he was alive so why should he now? Night time is a big problem for me, I dont like being alone (my daughters do stay when they can, but one travels with her…[Read more]

  • Hi All Thank you for your lovely replys Tina,Min,Gill my feelings are just as you describe. I feel worse now than I did 2 weeks ago,There is lots to sort out, which im ok with but as soon as I sit down I start to cry. I tried taking all the cards down today but I coundnt so I put them all back up and cried again. Its Michaels birthday and our…[Read more]

  • Dear All Michael was cremated today at 2.15pm.The chapel was over flowing with old collegues and friends, Charlotte our youngest daughter read the eulogy it was perfect. Im not sure how I feel at the moment empty, relieved I really dont know.

    I just wanted to thank you all for supporting me over the years, and pray for a cure for this…[Read more]

  • susannah replied to the topic Michael in the forum End of Life and Grief 9 years, 3 months ago

    Dear All
    Thank you again for your replys,hope you are keeping well Clare. Time 4.30am and back to the site for comfort and support,cant sleep at all doctor has given me some sleeping tablets but im afraid to take them.
    The funeral is on Friday at 2.15 still cant believe this is all happening,I keep expecting Michael to walk through the door,…[Read more]

  • susannah replied to the topic Michael in the forum End of Life and Grief 9 years, 3 months ago

    Dear All Thank you all for your kind words and support. Dai your words are always a comfort. Tina i will email you probably after the funeral. I cant believe there is so much to arrange, and of course I want to do it all myself.
    Everyone has been so kind. phone calls,visits but it does frighten me when it all stops and I have time to think.I just…[Read more]

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