[susannahParticipant]

Hi michael home hes very tired but much calmer. You are so right Dai Michael is much calmer when Im around,even before MM we always did things together,perhaps it was the other way round then, I relied on him so much, but that is what you do when you love someone.
Hi mavis yes thats my eldest daughter Emily shes 32 not married or even have a boyfriend at the moment, so if you no any nice young men!

love
Sue

[susannahParticipant]

Hi All didnt drink my G&T, actually Dai Im a bit like Janet I dont very often drink as I to get migraines Its probably a good job as I had a phone call from the hospital Michaelwas having an horrendous panic attack tried to calm him overthe phone but he was in such a state so they asked if iwould stay with him and that they would make up a camp bed for me. Since we were given the bad news we havent spent much time alone, he ended up in hospital after 2 days and yesterday so many different people were in and out of his room he just couldnt cope and I think it finally hit him. We talked nearly all night michael fell asleep about 3 oclock, I didnt get any.Stayed all today very peaceful and he seems much better. His consultants saw him this evening and put him on oral antibiotics and some antidepressants,and said he could go home tomorrow. So ive just arrived home and im going straight to bed to hopefully sleep
Love Sue

[susannahParticipant]

Dear Dai

What an amazing person you are I cant imagine what you, any of you MM sufferers, are going through I can only see through the eyes of a carer. But you are always there to offer support and I admire you for that. Janet must be so proud of you.
Just back from the hospital seems a long drive in the dark, Michael doesnt seem as well today, they are still pumping antibiotics into him, no sign of him coming home yet.
Doors locked heating turned up, at last I can be me, good old cry and perhaps a gin and tonic

Good Night god bless

Suex

[susannahParticipant]

Hi All Just an update on Michael we had to take him into hospital saturday
evening, no temp, but we thought he was having some kind of stroke, as I didnt have any contact numbers I rang the haematology ward at our local hospital and after a chat with his consultant we took him in. He is still in but i cannot fault the care he has had. They took blood cultures and they have grown something or other which could have been fatal if not treated so quickly and he has had 4 units of blood., We have met the nurse who deals with palliative care, she has arranged for the district nurses and macmillan team to visit when Michael comes home. As you said Sarah its the district nurses that will do most of his care.

I cant say im coping just getting through one day at a time, even with all the nice people trying to help I feel so alone, i find alot of comfort just reading your posts over and over

love
Sue xx

[susannahParticipant]

Dear All Thank you so much for your kind words they help me such a lot

Sue XXXX

[susannahParticipant]

Dear All

Thank you so much for your kind replys, and thank you Dai you have a special way with words.
Its 4am and I sit thinking of all the things I want to say to Michael, but then i just start to cry,how do you say goodbye to your sole mate, the person you have lived with for 34years.
I want to nurse Michael as long as I can, I cant bear the thought of him being alone in hospital, but I know that this might not be avoidable at some point.
I suppose when we have seen the Pallative care team next Thursday I may feel a little more supported, but at the moment I just feel alone and frightened. Its not that I dont want anyone to help its just that Ive always coped and letting someone else into our lives makes me feel as though im letting Michael down when he needs me so much.
Its very early in the morning and im probably just rambling, but it helps.

Love to all

Sue

[susannahParticipant]

Dear Gill I havent been on the site for a while,until today. i am so very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family

Love
Sue x

[susannahParticipant]

Hi Eve Im sorry to here about Slim, I do remember Michael having Platelets after his second Sct, I was expecting red in colour and they were more yellow. He had about 3 or 4 bags

Love Suex

[susannahParticipant]

Dear Siobhan I am so sorry for your loss, I will miss her so much. Although we never spoke we did exchange emails, she has been such a comfort to me

God Bless
Sue x

[susannahParticipant]

Hi Eve So pleased Slim is back home, its onwards and upwards now (as Tom would say)

Love to you both
Suex

[susannahParticipant]

Hi Thankyou all for your kind replys I dont post on the sight as often as I should, but I know whenI do I always feel much calmer. I find it hard to share things, open up if you like, but this site does help people do that. Thanks Eve Ive ive had a few of those headaches recently!
Tina ive been thinking about you recently,tried to email you.

Take care and
thank you
Suex

[susannahParticipant]

HI Paul Not heard of DT PACE before, but I hope it works for you Have a brilliant week end

Love
Suex

[susannahParticipant]

Hi Gill Sorry to hear your news, but dont give up yet Michael came off Revlimid over a year ago, he had Bendamustine but that didnt work for him,theres nothing else for him at the moment, he doesnt fit the criteria for Pomalidomide, but that doesnt mean that one of these wont help Stephen.
Michael has been on chemo and dex now since Christmas, not without its complications, but he is still here, So stay positive we dont know what is round the corner

Love

suex

[susannahParticipant]

Hi Keith I remember Michael after his second SCT his pps did go up at first then went down, so fingers crossed

Love
Suex

[susannahParticipant]

Dear Michelle Im so sorry to hear about your mum my thoughts are with you

Suex

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