[zasrsParticipant]

Hi Eve
Just read your post, I so hope slims sct is still going well. Gordon went to kings for both his sct, the second time round I thought the staff much improved, and the care so much better, his cell also has several cleans. Not so keen on some of the aragant young drs though.
Good luck and I hope slims continues to do well.I won't ask you to give my love to Kings, I loathed the place but they did give Gordon 9 years extra life I should be more grateful!
Best wishes Sarah x

[zasrsParticipant]

Hi min
I am so sorry to hear that you have beenn having such a difficult time. I have heard of Reki some one i once knew did Reki to my shoulder, it was amazing how it become better never really understood what she did! Science cannot explain everything.
i have also been having councilling but on the phone quite amazing! It really helps not seeing any body languge for some reason!
My in laws have been trying to 'protect' me by following solisitors advice and trying to disinhereting me! I had three weeks of total hell when I felt not worthy of being part of gordons family and drinking brandy like it was going out of fashion, in the middle of this my third grandchild at 10lbs was born!
I managed to stop what they were doing to me and i am now a part of the family again. Gordon told me just before he died that I needed to wake up, did not understand what he ment I do now. Strangley I feel so much stronger after this dreadful time.
Take care Min, you are often in my thoughts as we started this difficult phase of lives close together, if you understand what I mean. I am sure you will come through this. I am still on my little white pills to help me sleep, I am sure I am addicted to them now, do I care? No I need to sleep! and drinking brandy gives me a headache!
much love
Sarah

[zasrsParticipant]

Hi Dai Bridget and all

I often pop into the forum, but dont always post. Always pleased to see so many old friends posting merrily or not as the case maybe!
My son and I have just finished lambing our larger than usual flock, very hard at times, Gordon is all over the farm, Charlie my younger son seems to have taken his place on the big red tractor. My daughter has just had another baby she told me she was expecting the day I was told to take Gordon home. So difficult + wonderful as well.
Keep well my cyber friends keep taking the drugs!
Sarah xx

[zasrsParticipant]

Hi stephen
My husband died in august 2011, grief is awful if eel for you and your sons, keep them close they need you as much as you need them, something I keep forgetting. It does get better or so I am told but I am afraid I am still waiting for that to happen.
My thoughts are with you all, take all the help you are offered.
Sarah

[zasrsParticipant]

HI Dai

I look in on the myeloma group now and then, thank you for still thinking of me. I wish I could say I am moving on but it really does not get easier, living and loving another person for 36 tears + is not easily got over!
We are lambing at the moment and I am shattered and too emotional, but we are getting though it with loads of lambs.
Love to you and Janet
Sarah

[zasrsParticipant]

Dear Michelle
I was so sorry to read of the loss of your husband at such a young age from this dreadful disease, my thoughts are with you and your family. You will have days ahead, my only advice is take all the help on offer and keep your family close. Be kind dot yourself.
With love
Sarah

[zasrsParticipant]

Hi Chrissie
I am so sorry that your wonderful soulmate of 53 years is no longer by your side, I know how you feel I just wish I knew the right words to help you. Look after yourself and take any help or treats that you are offered, the pain does not ease, but it helps to live another day. I am nearly 6 months since Gordon died I have many bad days, today was not good,as sorting out sheep for marke, watched by his beloved cattle, sometimes wonder what is the point. I hope,like me,you have a wonderful family near you the little grandchildren help so much life just has to go for them
Take care
Sarah xx

[zasrsParticipant]

Whow Min
I wish I had your energy! Sounds amazing what you are doing and planning I keep looking at my bedroom and that is far as I get! Go for the cruise what a good idea we all need good things to look forward to.
Best wishes Sarah

[zasrsParticipant]

Hi min
I think it must be the time of year, I have shed more tears today than I have for ages.i have a beautiful new collie dog and going sailing in February but it all seams so hopeless. Cyber hugs Min.
Sarah

[zasrsParticipant]

Dear chrissie
I am so sorry that your husband has lost his battle with mm as did my husband in August, I wish I could say I know how you feel but I do not remember it is as though my mind shut down, I am not sure it is right now. Please take of yourself see your gp and get some pills. I take them to help me sleep, I would have gone mad without them, but we are all very different. Today has been a very bad day you will find every day varies, but I am told it gets better, so I and I hope you will see that one day.
With very best wishes
Sarah

[zasrsParticipant]

Hi Eve
Yes bamks a thieving lying toe rags!Gordon made the farm business account a partnership with our son which ment that the account carries on after death as there is a partner, Marks name is on the cheques and has been for 5 years he has been signing cheques, the problem is the bank did not complete the paperwork! I am so fed up with ' I can only apologise!' Morons!

Happy Christmas

Sarah

[zasrsParticipant]

Hi Bridget
We all go to the carol service and sing at the top of our voices with loads of children who all seem to be singing something different! Wonderful! Gordon always hated churches so never came, so some thing will be the same. yes the house will be full, they gave up on the 5am when they started to come back from the pub in the early hours and could not get up!
Happy christmas to you and your family
Sarah xx

[zasrsParticipant]

Hi Bridget
What a terrible thing to happen, you know grief very well. I keep missing the killing, i love subtitles why i dont know! I am just about to get sky + so i will be able to record it i think!!
Sarah xx

[zasrsParticipant]

What a fantastic way explaing grief, I feel like that large ball in the jar all the time, it diminished for an hour when i watched on the bbc about the scrap heap orchestra,at the end they played the 1812 overture with bangs and smoke and loads of noise, it was wonderful, when it finished i realised that for a long time grief was not first in my thoughts, one day maybe this will happen more often. I have been offered councilling maybe because i went and asked for some more little white pills! After reading your post Min I think I need to look at some outside help.
sarah xx

[zasrsParticipant]

Hi Min

I have taken the decision that i am not doing christmas cards this year i hate just my name all alone, so i am not doing it! Writing lables with just granny is bad enough.
I do so feel for you Min i am so lucky in having my family here all the time in and out daily, when i am alone, it is terrible and does not get better. I do wonder what life is all about at times, not a good time of year for us. I do hope you have plans for christmas and you are able to see your family.
As for the flashbacks i keep blaming myself for not fighting more not getting angry, but inmany ways gordon had had enough, just being told both hips were crooked myeloma in one arthritis in the other thiscaused him to cry, which did not happen very often
with love sarah xx

[Author]

Posts