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Hi Roz
I am so sorry that you are unable to get the help you need. After gordon died the local hospice offered me councilling i threw it in bin, me need help pah! Stupid stupid me.It maybe worthwhile contacting your local hospice, they are supposed to help the likes of you and me.

with best wishes Sarah

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Hi All

I do so agree with you, do it now tommorow may never come! Gordon,s love was his farm his land, his cattle me and the children came in there somewhere. We did very little travelling in the last few years mainly because everything he wanted was at home. Our last very difficult trip was to go to the Great Yorkshire Show we should not have gone but that is history. I asked him if he had done everything he wanted in his last few days and he said yes, his legacy is all round us every way we go.

Keep travelling my cyber friends!!

Sarah xx

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Well done Debs, we are having a coffee morning on 26th november in the old barn for MMUK have the tee shirts and ballons, anyone around that day near eastbourne please come it would be great to meet you1

Sarah xx

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Dear Min

I guess all life and grief is so different to each indervidual person, no relationships is the same, I have no anger towards Gordon leaving me maybe that is yet to come, I just feel so cheated, we at last had some time and financial secutity to enjoy time together and with our beloved grandchildren and it will never happen now. I do feel intense sadness when I see so many happy couples, why me? but then why not me/us?
My family and I have organise a lunch party in a couple of weeks time in our old Sussex Barn, we have had so much help from friends we wanted to say thanks with my farther and now father in law dying we need something fun to look forward to and help us move on, to soon? Who knows.

Your shopping in the souk sounds wonderful hope you found lots of bargins, many years ago I went to the casbar in Tangier, the smell and sights were wonderful.

No sign of our beatiful ram, i am sure he has been rustled.

Take care of yourself Min and Roz and Tina. Take care Gill and Slim and Bridget.

Sarah xx

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Hi Pincushion

I am knitting for the grandchildren at the moment, i could try to knit a badge! I am not a good knitter but bless them they wear my offerings!!!

with love sarah xx

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Hi Tina

Well done on the windsurfing! I sail, not as physical as windsurfing or as wet!I am getting old. I get tearful when I return home from holiday, no Gordon to chatter to.

Take care Sarah x

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Dear Gina

I am so sorry to hear about your mum, I am sure that the time you and your family have with you mum will be very special and give you all a great deal of comfort.

Cyber hugs Sarah

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Dear Gilly

I too worked for the NHS I took time off when Gordon was ill having treatment etc. MY GP wrote me off with stress, a month at a time, it worked well for me, I am now retired and Gordon has died wish i had retired earlier. Stick in there Gill.

Dear Gill I thought if written off sick managers were not allowed to phone you at home or hassel you, some sort of employment law, my daughter who is having a baby in april was asked when she would be returning, although she did give an answer but her employer had no right to ask by law. What a dreadful story you told, often our religous and charity employers are the worst.

All the best sarah

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Hi Min

Have a wonderful time, I have just got back from Devon it was lovley ( not so hot as Dubi). Look forward to your post when you get back!

Sarah xx

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Hi All
Like Nettie, I to thank MUK for this site. Life is not so happy for some of us at the moment. Gordon died in august his father was in hospital at the same time and last monday FIL had his 90th birthday, still in hospital, yesterday he came home, today I went to see him, not his fault, but Gordon looked like him in his last 24 hours, every thing the hospital bed, the face etc, spent a lot of the day not feeling too good. Not to sure how i will visit again, why do 90 miserable year olds live and my vibrant, love of life husband do not. Sorry the bottle of wine is talking, sorry Nettie for not contiuing Tina's lovley positive post.

Sarah

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Hi All

Have only just found this post very interresting, I sometimes wonder in my frequent bleak moments if Gordon would still be alive if we had carried on going to Kings, instead of our local hospital. Gordon went downhill very suddenly, i kept mentioning velcade but was told it was not appropiate, we had to fight for it 1st time round, post code lottery? Who knows. If I asked questions now I know i will be fobbed off and the outcome will not change. It seems to me all of you need to change to Nottingham or UCH !!
My love and good wishes to you all keep fighting and keep well.

Sarah

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Hi Julie
So sorry to hear the sad news about your mum,I am so glad she was at home with all of her family near, a great comfort for all of you, as I know only to well.
Best wishes sarah

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Oh Min and Roz wish you both lived near cyber hugs to both. xx

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Hi Girls
Had a lovley today judging cookery at a ploughing match ( know nothing about judging, went on the flavour!) I came home to a silent house I could not tell anyone about my day, who i had met, the local farmers who asked how i was and how sorry they were. Roz, Min and al the others, it is the lonliness that gets me.Onwards and upwards girls as Tom would say!

Sarah

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Dear Gill
Thank you, I have just make a beautiful, lumb free white sauce! I was so angry reading you post I took it out on the sauce, how dare the banks play fast and loose with OUR money, they are so arrogant, uncaring, taking OUR money and doing as they see fit wasting it in dodey deals then whining because thier bonus is so small 1/2 a million instead of 3 million etc. The Daily Telegraph have a jouralist called Jessica who takes up money problems, trouble is I think they are not fast in repling, but it could be worth a try, banks do not like bad press.
Good luck the total b…………s
Sarah xx

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