[RozParticipant]

Hi All
Glad this is here cos I'm more at home with you lot!!

Thought I'd let you know that once again I've applied for counselling. See if I get some where this time. I'm having such a bad time now the dark nights are here. This time last year Michael was so so poorly and I spent nearly every day with him.
I've been trying to cope alone cos only seen my daughter around 3-4 times in the last ten months. I never saw her for 6 months at all then she came round but she made me feel like such a burden.
Last night out of the blue she sent me a text telling me she thinks she needs counselling, and she cannot go on. She thought she was putting on such a brave face but she wasn't, my daughter would be here for me not like she is now, so I have known for along time, told her but she always said no. Now I know this I'm on edge with how she is and blaming myself once again, I'm trying to cope living a lone which is a nightmare, and I'm trying to get over Michael's death. I'm on the edge of a breakdown and I need Michael, but he is not here.
I'm dreading Christmas, fancy dying Christmas Eve. God I miss him.. I end up talking to myself you know.

Any way hope your all doing as well as you can
Love you all
Rozxxx

[Author]

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