[tomParticipant]

Hi Jenny

Am very pleased you find this site comforting, as at times like these its good to know folk are there to help and advice:-D

As for the Booklets, as Min says they can be downloaded or if you nip to your Dr's or Hospital you can get what you want.

Its a shame your Stepmum is not allowing you all to be more active in your Dads care as it will make it a lot easier for her in the years to come.

As for speaking too soon as your dad gets better 😀 trust me Jenny its never too soon to talk about the good things that are happening.

As for me i am wishing your Dad a "Onwards and Upwards" and that has always worked for me.

Hope all is soon resolved with your Stepmum as that in itself can only be good for your Dad 😎

Love and best wishes

Tom xxx

[PerkymiteParticipant]

Jenny, MyelomaUK will send you an information pack free of charge. It contains ALL the information you could every want on Myeloma. Give them a ring now and you will have it by first class post ASAP.

Kindest regards

David

[brochoParticipant]

Hi Jenny I am sorry to have missed your post until now but you have been given lots of good advice already Would it be possible to take your step mum for lunch or something and try and talk to her on neutral ground. her fears are probably so overwhelming she cant see how you all can help .I hope your dad is continuing to improve , as lots of us are here to prove the initial improvements can be rapid once treatment starts Best wishes Bridget x

[jennyspin90Participant]

Hi folks, I'm so sorry to be only just updating re dad.

The good news is that I've received my file from the office and am working my way through it now. It's taking time as I have Fibromyalgia and since dad was diagnosed the old "brain fog" is causing me some problems!

Well, last Sunday we vistited day on the way home from a cocker club show. We gave him a surpise as we weren't planning on visiting but his favourite girl, Jessica had won a rosette so we thought we would call to show him. When we got there was in his clothes instead of pjs and had had a busy day with a walking stick that the ward had given him! My stepmum had visited in the afternoon and dad and relatives had gone for a walk around the hospital grounds. He managed so far with the stick and then hired a wheelchair for the rest of the way. He was up and down with his stick when we got there and was really enjoying himself. However, they have started him on Oxycontin this week which has made him really drowsy. He is continuing on his 3 sessions of dialysis a week and I'm pleased to say that most of the the fluid seems to have gone and his hands, etc look "normal" now. My stepmum told the hospital and dad at the beginning of the week that she didn't want him home but rang me the day after to say that she had had a sleep;ess night and couldn't get is pleading eyes out of her mind. She told the hospital that she had changed her mind and that whatever she wants him home. This week the hospital have introduced him to the ward where he will be going for dialysis once home and they are getting everything in place with his care plan. However, I say him last night and he said that he wants to come home but there's no point as he is so tired and is still not eating well. I had a quick word with his nurse and she says that the problem we have is that he had the kidney problem paired with the myeloma so he will be tired and they can't improve his eating any at all. He just need to eat what he wants when he wants. I then spoke to stepmum who has also said that there is no point in him coming home either! Everything is so "up in the air" again.

[MinParticipant]

Hi Jenny
Its nice to hear your dad is taking little steps towards getting better. You cant rush this thing, and particularly so given his age and his new health problems.
I read you original post and was alarmed at the comments of the nurse who spoke to you. Myeloma is one of the rare cancers, and its difficult to know what she knows of it, was she a renal nurse? or a myeloma nurse specialist?
Whilst is may sound all up in the air. Your dad sounds like he wants to get better and he is still engaged in what is going on (dog shows) I am sure he will get there given the chance. Hospitals are intimidating places for the elderly. I believe he probably belongs to an age where he will do as he is told regardless of how he feels. He will need all the support you can offer him.You know what he is like so Give him time and be patient.
I wish him all the best and hope your step mum can overcome her fear of having him home. Im sure once the care package is in place he will make progress better at home. Perhaps a short time in a hospice as respite would be a good transition for them both. A hospice is not just for terminally ill people they are there to offer help. But you often have to ask for it.
Best Wishes
Min

[tomParticipant]

Hi Jenny

Sounds good your Dad is moving along nicely.

Its a slow proccess all this treatment, good luck for your dad to pick up his appetite.

Take Care and Love to you all

Tom xx

[jennyspin90Participant]

Hi Tom and Min, thank you so much for your kind words re dad. I've just realised how bad my spelling is! It's all down to the Fibromyalgia so I do apologise for that! I'm really cross today as I've got a chesty cough and a the start of a cold. I don't want to go onto the ward as I know that the folks there are really poorly and I don't want to pass anything on to them, or to my dad. We've now had another think through and think that dad has his good days for the day/days after dialysis, or at least we think that that is the connection. It must take it out of him, plus with the effects of the myeloma he has a double whammy. Stepmum and eldest sister have been to see him and say that he is brighter. I feel so selfish to say that I can't wait to have him home!

[brochoParticipant]

Hi Jenny its good to hear your dad is a bit better It does take a while for things to settle when you first begin any treatment and I think dialysis must be exhausting . I hope you get rid of your cold soon , theres nothing more miserable !You are certainly not being selfish wanting your dad home , I am sure thats what he really wants as well Fingers crossed it wont be long now love Bridget

[KWilsonParticipant]

Welcome. It's a tough journey but finding this place will help you through. I hope your Dad continues to improve.

xxxxxx

[mhnevillParticipant]

Hi Jenny

Just caught up with this thread. Sad to welcome you to this site on your Dad's behalf. Glad to hear he is making some progress.

Step parents are a problem. My Mother married again at 75 ys, to a relative of my sister-in-law. When she was in the last week of her life my step father siad she was too ill to speak to me on the phone, even though she had really appreciated my visit the previous week. /when she died I felt he hi-jacked the funeral, even though one of my brothers took the service.

I think it will just be problematic because she is not your mum and as wife she does have these rights. Soemtimes it does seem unfair when we are the ones who have known them all their life.

I'm sure diplomacy, infortunately, is the only way. Isn't there a Social services person who will talk to her. I thought all the push was to treat folk at home now. Maybe there is a bit of jealousy that your Dad is getting all the attention when she, understandly, also feel at her wits end.

All blessings to you all.

Mavis

[Author]

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