[quote] I feel that we are dealing with our loss really well although we still have our crying days, as we call them. Mum fought myeloma every day and we are very proud of how she dealt with it.
We go to the crem and put flowers down(especially roses, mums favourite) and we have now started to remember the good times before mum was ill and this helps us immensely.[/quote]
Hi Gina,
Its lovely to hear from you… and I am so glad that, however slowly, your memories are turning to the times and the person your lovely Mum was, before the dreadful intrusion of MM into your lives.:-|
I have no doubt that there will be more 'crying days' but I hope that they will soon be balanced out, tears of sorrow and tears of joy in equal measure… and then one day the tears of joy and love and memories of the silly, trivial things… that you can only identify with your Mum, become the norm.:-)
My father was the last significant loss in our family and that was back in 1987… luckily for us, nearly all my brothers and sisters (excepting one who was yet to be discovered… another story) stayed over on the night of the funeral. Because of the distances involved there had not been a wake… something I think my Dad would have encouraged)… so when I got home I had a call from my cousin asking me if I fancied going to a quiz that night… at first it was the last thing I wanted to do… but he had travelled all the way to Mansfield from Swansea… and he was a quiz setter at a semi-professional level… so I thought why not? Before we knew it phones were ringing everywhere and we entered three teams of six… a sombre mood soon turned silly and not just because of alcohol, although that obviously helped but because we were together, sharing our loss while having fun… despite ourselves and we began associating the questions with the mannerisms and sayings of our Dad. It helped us that night… and gave us a foundation for future conversations… it would have been so, so easy to drift away to lick our wounds as individuals, to avoid each other by excuse of distance etc., but that night had helped us and drew us together in a most unexpected way.:-D
I still miss my Dad… but now I see him every day, I just have to look in the mirror. More so because I am being treated in the same hospital, City, Nottingham, where he was treated thirty years to twenty-five years ago… so those eyes reflected back at me now fully understand what he was going through… as well as the spitting image.8-)
Please keep in touch, do… but don't let our news and treatments etc., drag you down. Visit our 'End of Life & Grief' section… share your feeling and experience there, with others who are having similar experiences to you (you might want to re-post your entry above) but either way, it is so good to hear from you.:-D
Take care and best regards to you and yours.:-)
Dai.
