[RozParticipant]

Hi All,

Sorry to ask this but how long did it or does it take to get antidepressants and counselling where you live?? I'm asking cos 2 wks ago or more I got talked into going to my GP. She put me through as an emergency on the Friday, I got home from GP's and the place was on the phone. All questions answered. Told I would get an appointment quickly because my GP had refused to give me anti depressants. Never heard another thing. Last Friday got a letter from someone to phone up, got told another 2wks waiting was needed or longer, then my appointment would be done via phone. Told em about last phone call. Today got another call, lines had been crossed causing confustion and of course it was my fault most of it. Told she was re-sending paperwork, got to wait at least another 2 -3 wks, told her couldn't wait that long some angry words and I put phone down..Is this the norm???
Love Roz xx

[jmsmythParticipant]

Roz sorry that you are having such a terrible time. When I went for counselling I didn't go near my doctor. Our hospital Belfast City Hospital had a MacMillian centre and a counselling centre. I went in there filled in a form and saw a counsellor within a week or so. When I felt a couple of years layer that I needed it again I phoned and went the next week. I hope you get it sorted soon as it helped me tremendously.

Fingers crossed
Love Jean xx

[zasrsParticipant]

Hi Roz
I am so sorry that you are unable to get the help you need. After gordon died the local hospice offered me councilling i threw it in bin, me need help pah! Stupid stupid me.It maybe worthwhile contacting your local hospice, they are supposed to help the likes of you and me.

with best wishes Sarah

[brochoParticipant]

Hi Roz you must be so frustrated at the lack of response when you asked for help , it doesnt seem right . I am sure Macmillan would be able to offer counselling , they have lots of experience that could help you as the partner of a cancer patient . I hope you can get some help very soon love Bridget x

[RozParticipant]

Hi All

Macmillons never helped me while Michael had cancer, they told me they were here for Michael and not me, so I think it's another post code lottery thing. Going to GP's again today, see if can have antidepressants. I feel as if I should never have took notice of mates and asked for help, because yesterday that woman made out that I'd not been trying. It took me 10 months to ask for help!I'd not just been sat at home waiting like she implied.
Doncaster has no real services unless you can wait 6-12 months..Oh well may have to find and price my own!!

Thanks for your imput

All the best
Roz xx

[TinaParticipant]

Dear Roz

So sorry to hear you are having so much trouble getting the help you need. Simlar to Sarah, I was offered councelling by Iain Rennie who's nurses had been visitng everyday to provide medical treatment during the few weeks before Pat died. I turned it down.

Have you tried speaking to the Citizens Advice Bureau? I know it sounds like a long shot – but worth it I think, they may be able to help.

Best Wishes
Tina

[MinParticipant]

It seems like your not getting the attention you need and perhaps you need someone to fight in your corner do you have a friend or one of your carers who could chase this for you Roz.
As a long shot why not ring the Samaritans and chat to them that is what they are there for and they might just be able to get you some help quicker.
Is there a hospice anywhere near you that you could call into? They are all very good and so geared up to helping people like yourself.
I think you should consider how would Michael feel, and I am sure[b] He[/b] would not want you to be miserable at Christmas time although we are all going to be feeling a lot different this year, We were married for 40 yrs and only one of those years was Peter not able to get home as he was in the Falklands and the children were at home then so I have no idea how I am going to be. But i am sure as he absolutly loved Christmas time he would not want me to sit and weep he would want me to have the biggest best Christmas tree just as he did as he was a child at heart. I will miss his OTT decorations most of all and going and buying him pressys.
I keep telling myself he was in so much pain and not having a good life towards the end that it would have been unfair to prolong his agony just because I did not want to be left. That alone is what gets me through the days and the long nights. And my cyber friends .
Love Min

[RozParticipant]

Hi Min, Tina and all,

Ive tried Samaritans, they only really help when your suicidal.

They are so busy, you only hear so often. The reason I'm not celebrating Christmas is because Michael died Christmas Eve. I cannot raise a glass to him dying. Our Rachael my daughter and Lauren my grandaughter feel the same way. Until I can get over these feelings It will be a long time before I do. No way can I say merry christmas Michael, its like saying glad you died on Christmas Eve. I dealt with alot when he was in hospital, he never told them anything so everything was left to me and I feel like I've put him down, there is alot more to it than that, but it's too complicated to explain, He had things so bad that when I was alone in the room it was horrible watching every step of him dying happen. Also I went home and left him to die alone something he didn't want me to do.

My Gp has told they have passed me over and nothing else can be done from them, they said no to antidepresants,till had therapy. The therapy place have also told me I've had my name down for a long time and they didn't realise, the papers from 10 months have caught up! so I've to wait till st johns hospice get in touch which can take up to another 4 wks. There is no where else in Doncaster. We have one of the worse councils for giving help and advice.
Michael never really liked christmas unless he saw his daughter, me and grand-daughter, we were going away but not no-more.

All the best everyone

Roz

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