Hi Bobbie
It is always a terrible shock to have a loved one get a diagnosis like myeloma.
When you first get the news it is normal to be totally preoccupied and devastated by it.
However although myeloma isn’t curable, it really is treatable in most cases, including your mum’s. (I know because she must have responded well to treatment to be having a stem cell transplant soon). This is likely to mean that she will return to next to normal health once she has recovered from the stem cell transplant, and she may remain stable and very well, so that people who don’t know her well will have no reason to suppose anything is wrong, for years, perhaps many years.
The treatments available for myeloma patients has been improving rapidly over the past few years. This means that survival statistics will be better than ever, and certainly better than internet articles suggest or even doctors who are not myeloma experts say. The patients who started my local myeloma support group were diagnosed 17 & 18 years ago now, before the current drugs were available. There will be many more of us alive in 17, 18 years time now because we will get access to more lines of treatment and to more effective treatments.
When I was diagnosed I just enjoyed spending quality time with my daughter, occasionally we did online courses together- even when we were not physically together. If your mum is interested in crafts or cooking there are lots of options. PM me if you can’t find them.
My daughter occasionally came with me to appointments if my husband couldn’t,or to give him a break, which I found helpful. It’s always helpful to have an extra pair of ears to hear information, it’s very easy to miss some of what is said by our health professionals.
If your mum is the type of person who doesn’t like to research health issues, (eg for fear of what she might read), you could ask her if you could do this on her behalf, filtering positive information to her as you find it.
If you want to get better informed yourself, the best place to start is with the Myeloma UK patient information booklets that can be downloaded from the website, or hard copies can be sent to you.
All this can be delayed for a bit.
If you were my daughter I would want your number 1 priority to be to get through these last few months of your degree, to try to leave worries about your mum’s health to one side until you’ve completed your final essays and dissertation, revision and exams.
There will be time to deal with the repercussions of your mum’s myeloma after you have graduated, and you graduating will give her a lot of pleasure.
