I’m just new to this forum, although over the years as I have gotten older I have read many people’s posts to try to understand more about this disease and see how other people were coping with things. We just lost my wonderful Dad after 19 years of MM. It all seemed so quick, one minute we were chatting the next day he had deteriorated to the point that he was on a morphine pump and I’m worried about if he was aware that we sat at his bedside for 22 hours, to make sure he was never on his own. My dad was the strongest man I know. He not once complained about all the horrendous treatment he endured. He had two stem cell transplants and every single drug and drug combination they could give. He had a DVT due to the Thalidomide, he broke his jaw due to complications from other drugs, he crawled to the bathroom when the pain was so bad but he never,ever complained about it. All the blood vessels ruptured in his eyeball due to such a low platelet count and he was in terrible discomfort, i think it looked at a lot worse but he would never let us know. We were really lucky to have had our dad for as long, I read all too often that people don’t get long at all We had the best of treatment between our local GP and the NHS and what also played a huge part was my dads resilience and perhaps sheer stubbornness which kept him going. He had the constant attitude that this disease was not going to rule him and i firmly believe that if you have a strong mind and give yourself goals it really helps. When dad was first diagnosed my sister and I were only young, I was 12, and dad decided that he was not going to give up he had mum and kids to look after and he was going to keep going as long as he could. In the end they said it was acute renal failure and we could see that he was tired by then, it was a long fight but he got 7 years out of his first stem cell transplant. I miss my dad so much, we were extremely close, he managed to walk me down the aisle in march and it was the happiest day even though he was so tired he could barely stand at points.
At his service there were grown men with tears and this is just a measure of how much people loved dad. That sort of thing helps, to see the hundreds that turned up to say goodbye. Its the hardest thing in the world but I was glad to be with dad at the end. I feel like things will never be the same, and i can’t believe it even happened even though 3 weeks have passed. I want to live my life like my Dad, he loved life and he didn’t let cancer rule him, he didn’t sit and complain about his illness, something that people always commented on. He was an amazing, generous and brave man and has left an ache i think will never leave. But to anyone fighting this illness please keep positive, don’t let the bugger get you down, I saw how this attitude helped keep dad on his feet for long and i hope that more people can manage to keep going and enjoy every moment of life.
always with me dad
xxx
