[AMcGuireParticipant]

Hi Bridget, I hope your pain is better today …. or I should really say gone shouldn't I?! Poor you, I hope the doctors/specialist nurse can adjust your medication to a suitable level, its all a matter of tweaking till you get to the right level. I think they try to start you low and build you up rather than the other way around.

Thank you for your reply also. Teagan is just a wee innocent girl who's never known anything different other than daddy being ill – she was only a few months old when he was diagnosed. Erin on the other hand is having help at school in the way of time out with a teacher/counsellor – not quite counselling her but playing games, drawing and chatting about her worries. She was 5 when he was diagnosed so remembers the daddy who used to run around the garden and work all the hours God sent, the loss for her is greater. The school have been great with Erin, Teagan hasn't needed any support as yet.

Everyone has given such good ideas about boxes and books and I really feel I can't wait to get started. The sooner the better I think and it shouldn't do any harm. If family feel hurt by my request then I believe it is their problem and they can't see the big picture, what matters to me more than anything is that my 2 girls feel secure and have some wonderful memories of their daddy which will hopefully be provided by his friends and family.

Sending love to you Bridget
Angelina xx

[AMcGuireParticipant]

Bless you Mavis, thank you for your lovely words.

I'm having a wee chuckle. I have always said that when John does "go away" that he'll be back rattling chains at the bottom of bed – he's just that kind of a character, always practical joking and being silly. He's quite a comedian!! So, haha, you are absolutely right – he will be VERY close indeed and VERY much alive making "ooooooooh" ghosty noises! 😀

Sending love to you
Angelina xx

[AMcGuireParticipant]

Hi Shirley, thanks for your message, bless you.

I really can't wait to get started now, you have all filled me with inspiration and such great ideas about the memory boxes and memory books. I'll need to have a good think about what I'm going to do and how I'm going to do it so I do it right.

Sending you love and healing thoughts too
Angelina xx

[GillParticipant]

My heart goes out to you Angelina for all that you are going through. My husband (Stephen) is the mm person in our life.

We had a very lazy morning laying in bed until about 8 am and chatting. I told Stephen about your posting and we came to the same thought.

A memory book is a wonderful idea. I did one for my mother in law when Stephen's dad died (just old pictures and a few bits from the merchant navy books that she had kept)

Stephen said that he thought it great but would hate it if it was done behind his back when he was still around. If John is up to doing this for Erin and Teagan then it may be quite nice to spend some of his last time doing something that is important to him and will be very, very important to his children especialy later on.

If he cannot face this then maybe you can transcribe his feelings into the "book"

If you decide to create the memory "whatever" don't forget favourite tunes "I can't believe you and Dad listened to this rubbish" "Oops you mean this was recorded in YOUR DAY.

Yes Yes Yes ask everybody to contribute why should we have to wait for a loved one to die before we celebrate their life.

Your girls should know how special their Daddy was before he had to leave them

I hope you can both get through the next few weeks with all the strength that you can muster.

Gill xx

[AMcGuireParticipant]

Oh Tom, bless you, thank you for your lovely message.

You've given me a wee chuckle too …. reading your message I appear to be compiling a memory book for both John and Steve! 😀 Sorry, I shouldn't poke fun at you, however it has made me have a little laugh today (at your expense though). And poor Steve, bless him.

I do hope you are right about the blip … infact we've been here before – John wasn't expected to last his first 6 months, his DJ friends all got together back then and did a fundraiser to get us to Disneyland Florida with the 2 girls before John passed on (he had a wish to see the girls faces in Disneyland before he died), then just to spite us all he's lasted 4 extra years!! Kidding aside he's done really well over the past 4 1/2 years, he's been a poor soul during this time though and I do wonder just how much more his broken body can tolerate. I do know that he's not ready to give up just yet though so that is very positive.

Onwards and Upwards Tom ….. 😉

Sending love and healing thoughts
Angelina xx

[brochoParticipant]

Hi Angelina your girls sound lovely and such beautiful names Whatever you decide about a memory book they will cope because they have you to guide them through it , Sending big hugs to you all love Bridget x

[tomParticipant]

Aww Angelina

Lol no need to say sorry bout the name change he he (it cost more by deed ha ha)

Hope (scroll up and check?) John is doing Ok 🙂 and you should look at John and see if he looks like a "Steve" he he.

Dont you worry about having a Laugh at My and "Steves" expence thats what we are here for Ha ha.

Hope you soon start the "Memory Book" and John is laughing at us all again in four years time (with his mate Steve)

Love and Hugs

Tom "Onwards and Upwards" xx

[michelleakitt29Participant]

Hi Angelina

I think it is a fantastic idea, my mums specialist nurse suggested that to me when my mum was first diagnosed, to keep for my children, as they are very close to their Nan. I dont think anyone would be upset by this, as you are doing it for your children. good luck.
with much love michelle x x

[AMcGuireParticipant]

Thanks Michelle.

I have sent the cat amongst the pigeons and told Johns family of my intentions – his brothers haven't responded however his sister has already sent a negative text to me about it telling me it is such a bad idea! Grrrr

Anyhow, I spoke to John about it at the hospice today, bearing in mind Gill and Stephens conversation above about Stephen not liking the thought of a memory box/book being done behind his back. So I thought I'd best tell John what my plans were and asked what he thought rather than working on it without him knowing (thanks again Gill and Stephen).

Great news is that he thinks its a great idea too. He wants me to get photos of him in his Navy days so he can write stories (well I'll probably do the writing for him) and tell the girls about when he was out at sea! I'm so overjoyed that he didn't shoot the idea down like his sister.

This has fueled my little fire of inspiration. I'm now on the hunt for a suitable box and book … amazon here I come!

Sending love and healing thoughts
Angelina xx

[DaiCroParticipant]

I am all for a memory book, my children 34,30 & 26 presented me with a set book from W.H. Smith to fill in at my leisure three years ago – it remains blank but I should make a start.

I am glad that I have left it until now because it takes time to focus on what is general memories and what is important nitty gritty. The set book will be fine for general memories but I know that I will write something personal for each of them and for my grandchildren… but either way I should start them soon because this damned disease can catch any of us short at any time and I would prefer to be reasonably 'with it' when I write them.

I wish you and John all the best if you do go ahead with your memory book, I am sure that he would want to be included as much as possible for the girls sake.

Regards

Dai.

[MinParticipant]

Hi Angelina,
I am so very pleased to hear that John is in agreement with you, I doubt if your sister in law would be able to put herself in your shoes, otherwise she would not be so negative.
For my part, I am not in your situation but about 4yrs ago I bought a gold backed notebook of the a5 size and started to recount some of my own memories of my childhood, and games I used to play, pastimes, journeys to school. moving house at the age of 4 my 'little brother being born' keeping chickens and so on.
it was quite cathartic. Stirring memories I had long forgotten as one memory remembered led to other memories forgotten. I did it to leave to my grand daughter,fearing that later in life I may not be able to write or remember these things and a way of life which would be alien to young people of today.
Memories book I called it and occasionally I bring it out and add to it. so its not only for people who have been given life limiting news. By the time she reads it handwriting will be a thing of the past so if nothing else she may recall me just by my writing style.
Good luck in your venture but expect some tears, I cried doing mine just because…… Im Soft
Love MIn

[AMcGuireParticipant]

Evening Dai

I found a lovely book on Amazon – "Dear Dad, from you to me" by Neil Coxon – bought one for each of the girls. Sounds the very same as what you've been given by your children too – the pages have prompts and particular questions to ponder over then write your answer. I can't wait till it comes, it has been recommended by many buyers on Amazon, I'm so pleased I've started my search …. just have to find a box now.

I'm sure the girls will absolutely adore having such a treasured keepsake from daddy …. it'll be so nice for John to share his stories with them now, and then in years to come they'll have the stories to share with their children too about their grandad. Ahhhh, lovely. I've even ordered up 2 books for myself "dear mum, from you to me" that I'll fill in for the girls too. What a great idea!!

Wishing you well with your book Dai, and yes you just never know when God is going to telephone down and ask you to join him, what an honour though.

Sending love and healing thoughts
Angelina xx

[AMcGuireParticipant]

Awe Min, bless you ….. I'm a big softie too, and theres nothing wrong with having a heart its a quality some people aren't blessed with.

My SIL is childless, she doesn't really understand how terribly important it is to involve children in every step of life. She fears sharing feelings and voicing her vulnerability so she'd rather not think about it … but then we're all different. The decision is ultimately lies with John and I, I won't let my SIL put a spanner in the works. We've decided putting together some memories will do the girls more good than any harm and I think we know our children better than anyone else 😛

I LOVE your "Memories Book" – how wonderful Min that you started collecting all your bits and bobs from so long back, what a totally brilliant thing to do. I chuckle when Erin asks if I had electricity when I was little!! (I'm only 38!!!) or did I have a computer and were there any cars?! 😀 Maybe I should start writing one too! She calls my childhood "The olden days" !!! 😀 Ahhh, you've got to love them.

Sending love and healing thoughts
Angelina xx

[brochoParticipant]

Hi Angelina reading all these lovely ideas on here has made me realise I too want to leave some memories for my children and grandchildren So tomorrow I am off to buy a notebook and go where the memories take me Thankyou for sharing with us and prompting me .I am sure your girls and Johnare going to love doing their books lots of love Bridget x ps God wont telephone it will be a text !!

[DebsParticipant]

Aaahh, you've all made me blub! Angelina, I have a 4 year old and a 6 year old and am about to go in to have a SCT. I know it will be fine, but I have been thinking about doing memory books, scrapbooks and things too…I think they are wonderful ideas….I just wish my hubby was quite as supportive…..it's the one area I wouldn't be able to get him to play a part as he doesn't want to think about the end.

I ordered the Winston Wishes memory cards a little while ago but they have sat at the back of my wardrobe…..I think I may get them out tonight and have another go at them!

I hope that it is just a blip for John!

All the best
Debs x

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