[eveParticipant]

Good luck Angelina glad you have decided what to do,if your sil says anything you tell her straight,she would not be able to walk a mile in your shoes. until you are going through this thing,no one has any understanding how it is.Can I say now you have decided to do this,make sure you put something in your boxes that has John smell on it,sounds odd I know,but i think thats what you miss most of all,its one of the senses that you do not miss until its gone.[does that make sense]
Debs good luck with your sct.

love and kind thoughts to you eve

[doddelParticipant]

Hi Angelina, I think its a great idea, for both you and your daughters – we lost dad on 17 December and mum started a memory box after his death, I think it would have been a good idea for him to have been involved (he was told there was nothing else to be done 13 November so the time was there but sometimes you just don't want to acknowledge it) as it would have been that bit more special to look back over then, he had a lot of input into his funeral, the songs and stuff and people noticed on the day.

I am thinking about doing something similar with my daughter, she is 4 and is missing her grandad now more than ever, mentioning him every day and getting quite sullen, so hoping something like this might help her too.

[eveParticipant]

Hi Angelina

How are things going with John and yourself,just thinking about you this morning,just thought i would pop into site to see how you are getting on.
love Eve

[shirleyParticipant]

Hi Angelina,i'm so pleased your going ahead with the memory book. Your daughters will love & cherish it in years to come,.. I'm from a large family with lots of brothers and sisters and loads of neices and nephews,i never had children of my own but i know in my heart that if i did i would love for them to have this book,. My husband is ex navy(submariner),he loved his time serviceing and still very often talks about it today,so getting the materials for John will be great and very interesting,wish you all well and good luck with the book,i might even do one for my family,take care and enjoy the lovely weather Shirls x x x

[clarabellParticipant]

Hi Angelina,

I haven't been on the forum for a while so I am upset to hear John isn't doing so well. I am sending you love and big hugs and strength to you both, you were so kind responding to my previous posts about Ameloiyd. I think your memory book is fantastic idea and your kids will treasure it, you your family and friends can compile some great stories and memories which I'm sure John will also like to read.

Wishing you both all the best Clara xoxoxox

[DaiCroParticipant]

Hi Angelina,

Your project has made me more mindful of the book my children gave me to fill in… 'No hurry, when you feel like it'… well I haven't felt like it… I'm not sure why not but I haven't. Truth be told I haven't given it much thought… or at least when I have thought about it I have been content to think that there is plenty of time yet.

The questions in the book, the requests for information, choices, preferences etc., are all fine… rather good in fact.. but a tad impersonal..more like filling in a form rather than a bank of memories…

Then it came to me. Most modern PC's/Macs, desktops and laptops have a built-in camera/video recorders and most computers have a basic editing suite for video… so how about a short film as part of the memory bank? Either as a Question & Answer format… with someone (you) asking specific questions about life choices/preferences etc., – or as a reply to a set of questions typed up on a 'board'… very easy to set up and they would be a lasting record of John literally 'facing the music'.

Once he gets used to the format he could always make up a series of 'blogs' about his life.. telling his 'stories'… from childhood to meeting Mummy… births, birthdays, anniversaries etcetera, etcetera… you see what I mean. We are not talking Speilberg here… just a basic click start, record and quick edit to scrub mistakes… leaving bloopers can be optional.

Video messaging is such an easy medium… it can be done when John is feeling up to it and it would make a wonderful record to either complement or supplement memory books & photo's etc.

I have decided that this will be my preferred method of leaving my memories… just thought you might consider it too.:-)

Dai.

[KWilsonParticipant]

Personally, I think a memory book is a beautiful idea and something for you all to treasure. There's so much children want to know, maybe not necessarily now but as they grow older. I wish my Mum had told me more about her life throughout the years before Alzheimer's took away her memory – (yes, a different situation I know but the same sort of feelings that I've already 'lost' her even though she is still here).

Meanwhile, I hope things improve.

xxxxxxx

[JetParticipant]

Hi Angelina

Sorry to hear of your situation. It always seems to me that it must be so much harder for those around us than for us as patients.

As for the memory book, I don't think it can be right or wrong. It's a personal choice…

For myself, I think it's a wonderful idea. If my partner, friends or family decided to do that and start it even now, while I am hopefully years away from death (but none of us ever know for sure – with or without myeloma, do we?), then I'd be honoured and touched and excited and want to be involved. I don't have children – not sure if this makes any difference – but really it's probably of more importance for you as parents to create that for your children. I also wonder what John thinks about it?

My opinion is to go ahead, but that's me and ultimately, you need to decide for yourself/for John. I hope you find a decision you're happy with.

Best wishes for all of you
Jet x

[JetParticipant]

I just had another thought…

Why do we save these lovely precious ideas for people dying of a nasty disease? It is a lovely idea!

I think maybe everyone could create a memory book or box for their children, family, friends, loved ones… We're all going to die at some point and leave people behind, aren't we?

Jet

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