[RozParticipant]

Thanks Tom

Think you know I needed that. I'm really truely loosing it now, I don't know I'll manage on my own any more.

Having spoke to Michael's nurse again yesterday, I can honestly say his arm is a no win situation. So thats that…

I'm begining to feel it now and it feels like forever since I saw him.

Thanks for hug
Roz

[tomParticipant]

Hi Roz

You and Michael are not alone, you know that? and yes I know that you needed the "WWWWWwwwwooooosssssshhhhh" "Cyber hug" but you know me Girl am the "It Aint Over Till Its Over" brigade:-D

I honestle hope that Michael gets better real soon cos what you both have been through is way too much.

If you (or any one) wants an off line chat my E/mail is t.lappin1@ntlworld.com

All Welcome

Love Tom xx

[michelleakitt29Participant]

Hi Roz

The roads are so much better round sheffield now, I really feel for you not being able to get to see him, but you keep in touch with the specialist nurse, is it Andrea Foster??

with love michelle x x

[RozParticipant]

Thanks Tom and Michelle,

Hopefully I'm going tomorrow lunch time!! It's been along time since I've seen him, the proper him that is, not the confused man I saw a week agao.
Yes Michelle it is Andrea, is she your mums nurse too?
Weather permitting last Thursdays meeting will be on this Thursday too.
Alot to take in this week.

Love to you all and Tom your hugs keep me going.

Roz

[michelleakitt29Participant]

Hi Roz

Yes she is, and i have found her incredible to be honest, dont know how i would have got thro this without her! She goes beyond her job specification, she in my opinion is the best one to speak to, she gives straight forward answers, and thats what i like, good luck with thursday keep us posted.

with much love michelle x x

[RozParticipant]

Hi All

Went to see Michael today. He is still in and out of confusion.So the visit wasn't what I was expecting. I'd spoke to him earlier in the day and he was looking forward to seeing me, but things never went that way.
The doctor told me he has delirium because of his chronic infections.
Nothing more to add really.
I'm feeling down after the visit, probably thinking after not seeing me for so long thinks would have been better. I keep saying to myself what people keep saying to me : "Remember it's not him talking it's the myeloma, his tablets or infections", but it's getting harder and harder to bear.

Roz

[GillParticipant]

Hi Roz

I am a late bird too. I am sorry that your visit did not turn out as you hoped. I have my fingers crossed that Michael will be made more comfortable and less agitated over the next few days.

Let's all raise a glass (or coffee cup) to hope Gill

[meeuuParticipant]

Here's raising a glass (well, to be honest, its a cup of coffee) to Roz!. Keep strong Roz, we are all still with you.
Love
John

[RozParticipant]

Thank you All

I keep raising a cup of Tea, so maybe I should change to coffee!!

Spoke to his nurse today and it's going to be hard making him understand how things are with him. We are to just keep repeating till he hopefully gets the gist. He got another infection over the weekend so lets keep our fingers crossed that they keep his myeloma down, otherwise we have had it.

Roz

[suemasonParticipant]

Hi Roz

I'm so sorry to hear Michael is still confused. I know what you're going through Roz, I went through the same last year. There is nothing anyone can say to make you feel better and Andrea Foster is definately the best person to have looking out for him and you, she was my husbands specialist nurse. It is soul destroying not having a response from your loved one, I know. Just keep as strong and as posiitve as you can, thats all you can do. Lets hope that things improve, keep going and look after yourself too. Sending a big hug and my love to you both.

Sue Mason xx

[tomParticipant]

Hi Roz

Am sorry to read Michael is still confused it must be awful for both of you 🙁

It looks like you have the "Top Notch" Nurse looking after both of you 🙂 thats good to hear, but am sure she cant give you a "cyber hug" like one of mine 🙂 WWWwwwwwwOOOooooSSSSshhhHHHhhh see one on its way

Good Luck to you Both

Love Tom xxx

[RozParticipant]

Thanks Sue,Tom

Please don't take this the wrong way, and I'm truely sorry if I upset you but how long did Gary survive after going like this? Please don't answer if its too painfull I understand I just seem to want to know all the time! I keep saying to them how long? But noone can say.

Michael phoned me twice yesterday, once in the afternoon around 4.20pm to see where I was. He wouldn't believe I'd been the day before plus all the confusing things, then he fell out with me cos I wouldn't fetch him home. He then phoned when I was in bed around 11pm. He wanted his radio, which he already has got. I told him I'd look for it when I came but that was too late he said.
My mind was in a whirl all night but I was determined to get more sleep than the night before.

Thanks for listening

Love to you and the hug was needed.
Roz

Tom thanks for being there, you seem to know when a hug is needed, They are great.

Roz

[mhnevillParticipant]

Dear roz

I have been follwing the ssad time you and Michael have been having. My heart goes out to you. I realise how distressing it must be for you that, because of the state of his illness, Michael doesn't realise how much you are trying to do the best for him. Do put it down to MM and not to anything you have done.

I feel very sad that it seems as if you may be near to the end of this journey that has been so painful for you both. You will be given strength to cope just hold in there. You msut be strong to have coped this long, and to stand alongside Michael fighting this horrible disease, and the fact that Michael is phoning at strange times shows who he turns to when he is at rock bottom. Take some comfort from that, even if these conversations do lead to misunderstandings.

It seems to me that what Michael needs now is medication to bring his pain under control. I will pray that Drs will make right decisions for him and that you are granted the strength you need.

Do hope you get some rest this night.

Warmest thoughts.

Mavis

[RozParticipant]

Thanks Mavis,

Went to see him again yesterday. He's starting to get me confused now! He tells me he's fit enough to come home, and his nurse tells me different.

Tomorrow is D day. So after frank discussion with his consultant and nurse we should know how things stand. I say we but its really I.

All the best
Roz

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