This topic contains 11 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by 
Min 12 years, 4 months ago.
I thought I would let you know how life is after caring for my husband who died 8 months ago from myeloma. I know I moved away from contributing to the site but I have regularly,checked in to see how you are all doing.
I started to go to cruse bereavment counceling a while ago.
Its tough. Exhausting, and interesting.
I developed a strange problem with my sight, and a similarly strange almost electric shock in my head! It was very disturbing debilitating, and no amount of medication was ever going to fix it.
I would lose my sight whenever I became anxious, and have strange episodes of petty mall whenever I thought of Peter.
I thought I was truly going mad, or bad!
It was suggested that councelling would help but there is a very long waiting list before you get to the front of the queue.
The worry of theses attacks was almost worse than the loss of Peter.
I kept myself so busy and consequently tired, that I didn't have time to think or look back, but life has a way of bringing you back to reality.
Whilst waiting for the cruse appointment I became desperate as the cloudy vision or near blindness was getting me down.
Like I hadn't been through enough at that point. Anyway, I was recommended to try Reiki
I found a lovely young lady who came to my home and within 48hrs the petty mall episodes stopped.
Once I stopped working in DIY projects the blindness came back. I called my Reiki lady and she did what she does as well as an Indian massage!! When she finished she told me I would feel fluey in a few days.
Well have I got the flu or what now…..
What I'm trying to let you carers know is it is working. Both the complimentary treatments and the cruse help.
I had never even heard nof Reiki before, so I had no idea what I was letting myself min for.
I doubt very much it will help mm sufferers. But it has given me back my life which was slowly going down the tubes.
Add a little complimentary medicine to your mix, I only paid £10 for it and it was money well spent. She even did some work on my very old and lame dog! He hadn't a clue what she was doing on him but after a few days he no longer lame.
She cannot cure lonelyness but I am getting used to having no one to do nothing with. Keep well friends
Love min x
Hi Min
They offer Reiki and yoga and loads of other free classes at the local cancer hospital here. I have tried yoga and it helped. I woulkd love to try reiki but think I will wait until I am in desperate need for it.
My husband is almost at the end now after 8 years with MM. I was so interested in your comments and will try very hard to think about what you have said and advised when I am there.
Thank you for writing this it must have been so difficult for you.
Love Teresa
The Great Lady has returned 😀
Hi Min what a thoughtful Lady you are, posting how you have and are getting through your bereavment, am sure you would make a great Couinceler for those that have lost loved ones:-D, and am sure this thread is the start and will help those that are and will go through it.
Love and Hugs
Tom xxx
Hi Min
Lovely to hear from you,glad to see you back,you were missed:-(
I have watched Reiki being done,and for the life of me i do not understand what they do,but it did work for Matty,plus a friend of my daughter who,s husband died age 38 years,it has a very calming effect,so I think bring it on,if it helps.
Stress has a terrible effect on the body,and the in ability to relax causes all sorts of problems.
Keep telling your self it will get better:-) 🙂 🙂 love Eve
Hi min
I am so sorry to hear that you have beenn having such a difficult time. I have heard of Reki some one i once knew did Reki to my shoulder, it was amazing how it become better never really understood what she did! Science cannot explain everything.
i have also been having councilling but on the phone quite amazing! It really helps not seeing any body languge for some reason!
My in laws have been trying to 'protect' me by following solisitors advice and trying to disinhereting me! I had three weeks of total hell when I felt not worthy of being part of gordons family and drinking brandy like it was going out of fashion, in the middle of this my third grandchild at 10lbs was born!
I managed to stop what they were doing to me and i am now a part of the family again. Gordon told me just before he died that I needed to wake up, did not understand what he ment I do now. Strangley I feel so much stronger after this dreadful time.
Take care Min, you are often in my thoughts as we started this difficult phase of lives close together, if you understand what I mean. I am sure you will come through this. I am still on my little white pills to help me sleep, I am sure I am addicted to them now, do I care? No I need to sleep! and drinking brandy gives me a headache!
much love
Sarah
So nice to hear from you Min
I am pleased that you moved on but have missed you no end, especially missed someone to moan about regarding our 2 naughtie little Westies (I swear they get worse and Stephen spoils them more and more)
I hope your sight remains OK (I am very, very short sighted and know one day I will be told to stop driving etc so I recognise how scary it can be) I hope you continue to march on and feel stronger. Do stay in touch sometimes if you can bear it
I am in the countryside looking after two grandchildren two cats, five dogs and two chickens one of which is broody orpington sitting on some bantam eggs!
The daughter is in Dubrovnic with hubby and friends. Finally the sun is shining been here a week tom and its rained every b day.
Finally the sun is shining and I am looking forward to returning to the familiar surroundings and comforts of home.
Eyes bothered me a lot on the journey here but not had any other insidences since I got here
. Looking forward to booking a Hol when i get home to get over this week!
Will be my first solo holiday and hope I can get up the BA*** to do it. Its not easy this side of mm.
Min
Hi Min
so glad to hear about your babysitting job. I would also need a complete rest after that lot, or possibly a stay on a funny farm.
It really helps when the sun shines lifts the spirits.
I do hope your eyes are ok. Have you been for any more reiki treatments?
Good luck with the solo vacation Iwish you could come and stay with me I could look after you and Peter and give you a real break.
Take care thinking about you
Love Teresa.
Min,
I can only take a wild guess of what its like for you on your side of MM… so I won't even bother to try.
Suffice to say that I truly do care about your well being… your physical and mental health and your coping levels.
I know you are a strong independent woman but the 'independent' part has taken on a new meaning, with a different mindset of skills and mental attributes… unasked for and totally unprepared for.
But it is obvious that you have taken them on, as uncomfortable and as unfamiliar as they indubitably are.
I, and I imagine all your MM friends, are truly grateful that you are still with us… through facebook and your occasional forays to the forum. You owe us nothing… you always gave far more than you received and what you gave was both precious and on the money… every time.
So please avoid anything that isn't positive for you… and any activity or communication that doesn't leave you feeling better than when you started.
[b]On a personal note I highly recommend that you purchase a copy of 'The Secret' DVD (available from Amazon for approx: £12.50 inc., postage – go for one of the UK distributors). [/b]
Watch it at least twice and go back to it often… I truly believe you are ready for it and Janet swears by it. She has amazed me with her mindset and attitude since she bought it and bought into it… she kept on at me until I watched it and now I am an advocate.
Stay as strong as you can and stay busy (as you most obviously are. Holiday as often as you can until the need for a more mundane existence pleases you.
Much love
Dai & Janet.
Dear Dai
Yesterday I drove home,and decided to cut actress country and drive through Nottingham forest, you were inexplicably on my mind and I kept thinking. If I knew where you lived in notts I would have called in to see you. You must have been typing you post at that time. Bizzare
Instead I went on a journey to nostalgia to an RAF station we were posted to on three seperate occasions which held many happy memories.
I was compelled to go there as there was no one to rush home for. Interesting and sad everything changes just as we do. Not many places left that time has not moved on.
Today is a new day I have cut the grass and now plan to go and give a lick of paint to Peters garden furniture which is past its sell by date but a bit of colour could give it a new life.
I am so pleased the rev and dex is doing you good, throw in some circumin for good measure you look well on face book. 'Nil desperandum,
Will try the movie and let u know
Luv
Minx
Hi Min, its lovely to hear from you. Mum passed 6 months ago today. Still findign it hard but keeping busy trying to move on with life without mum. Its very hard but the family are looking out for each other and we try to get out together.
We have put a verse in the memory book in our cemetary and we try to remember the good times with mum before she was ill. Glad to see you are doing ok, please keep in touch and look after yourself
Gina x
Dear Dai and Janet
Now I understand you.
As directed I watched your 'The Wish' yesterday. I now know exactly where you are coming from and hopefully that is the same place as I am going !
I believe it and thank you. Will watch it again tommorow if I can find the time. Off to a new quilting class. Love it. Just the thing to pass the time in the long winter nights, might as well be winter now its so cold but at least its not dark!
Min
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