[sanParticipant]

What can i say, my poor Mum is in hospital with no further treatment offered except some radiotherapy on her hip and some dex a couple of times a week, she is so sad we don’t know what to do to help her through this awful bit, her pain is better managed but her mobility is poor due to the poorly hip, a nursing home has been mentioned now, she is so aware of what is happening and on top of it all i have a cold and cannot visit at the moment so its down to my sister and my dad to take the carer stress, the velcade has been stopped because she is frail and we have had two hospital admissions due to infections but we never found out where they were,as a family we are determined to have some sort of Christmas for the children aged 2 and 6 and myeloma will not have the last say i am determined about that one but every day there is something thrown up,hard times ahead San xx

[dickbParticipant]

Hi San,

If the hospital is talking about a nursing home then they are probably being realistic as well as optimistic.Surprised you posted in ‘end of life and grief’, your mum has not gone yet. I can read your concern and fear in your post but she might just hang in there for a while. You say you haven’t visited because you have a cold, perhaps that is heightening your anxiety for your mother. Christmas can be such an awful time but you have two small children looking forward to it and you mother I am sure will want to see them over Christmas if at all possible. So hang in there, she hasn’t gone yet and if she is a stubborn as my dad was after his stroke, she’ll be around a little longer.
Richard

[meganjaneParticipant]

Dear San,

I am sorry your Mum is having a rough time but I am glad her pain is being managed. It must be frustrating for you to not be able to visit but take care of yourself so you are better soon and able to go and see her.

I am thinking of you, your Mum and your family.

Megan

[sanParticipant]

Thank you Richard and Megan for your posts, yes i am hoping that Mum will be settled in a lovely nursing home and that the family can visit her there over Christmas, she is having a blood transfusion today this might help her feel better, after her discharge from hospital i guess that little else will be done for her unless infection starts up, not sure why i put this in end of life forum but she is now sadly requiring palliative care but as you say if we can keep her spirits up she may have more fight in her though this week mentally it has been hard for her to feel like carrying on, guess that at these times we all [the family] find it hard to stay positive too but we must keep picking ourselves up and are determined to do the best that we can for her and the little ones this Christmas love San xx

[sanParticipant]

I am sad to say that Mum passed away this afternoon, i used to tell her about the lovely people on this site and the positive attitudes that are shown, she is loved and may no longer be here physically but will stay in our hearts, love to you all i will stay in touch San xxxx

[HelenParticipant]

Dear San
I’m so sorry to read about your mums death today. I know you will miss her lots and lots. She sounded like a real lady! And I hope that Christmas and new year went peacefully for you all.
Much love
Helen

[meganjaneParticipant]

Dearest San,

I am so sorry to read this sad news. Phil and I are thinking of you and your family.

Megan

[johnandjunediamondParticipant]

my thought’s are with you san,……sorry for your loss.

[sanParticipant]

Thank you for you kind words Helen, Megan, John and June, xxxxx

[jmsmythParticipant]

San I’m so sorry to read of the passing of your beloved mum. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family

Love Jean x

[eveParticipant]

Hi San

So sorry about your mum,I do not know which is easier knowing it’s going to happen or not.

I hope you and your family find some peace at this sad time,no more pain for your mum,I also hope you were able to spend some time with your mum doing normal things with out the myeloma being up most in your thoughts. Eve

[mhnevillParticipant]

Dear San

I am so sorry for you that your Mum has lost her brave struggle. However, in view of the pain she has been in over the past few months and the repeated infections, I do hope there is some comfort to you in the fact she is, at last, at peace and she hasn’t had to struggle for many more difficult months in a Nursing a Home.

You will have so many good memories of your Mum. Cling to these, they will help you through. Listen for “her voice” telling you how to be strong.

Death never has the last word. Our loved ones live on in our love and in our memories, and in the memory of God. I do hope your mum’s funeral is a celebration of her life.

Lots of love at this difficult time.

Mavis xxx

[sanParticipant]

Dear Mavis thank you for your message, its strange but i am already hearing ‘her voice’ and i know that she is still with me, i am heartened that she is no longer in pain and yes we will celebrate her life, Mum had a good sense of humour and her steely quiet determination kept her going, the Consultant said that she was a tough lady she was’nt expected to go on as long as she did but Mum loved us as we did her and she wanted to live for as long as she could, take care Mavis love to you, i will still follow you all and send positive thoughts San xxx

Dear Eve, i think that as a family we were realising very quickly that our time was short with Mum and it was difficult to see her passing, i spent’ the night before with her and the staff at the nursing home were great they discussed all aspects of care with us and we were very included and also cared for with kindness and it was homely there. Dad was with Mum when she passed away peacefully and i think that she would have wanted it that way. Naturally lots of tears were shed before she left us and since but i do not think that we could have done anymore for her, she knew that she could no longer go on and made up her mind to go and so i do not believe that myeloma had the last say! love to you and Slim take care and i so hope that all is well with you both San xxx

[dickbParticipant]

Dear San, I am so sorry to hear about your loss, during the last few weeks in Hospital, I had no internet access. I can’t add any more to what’s been said but I do hope you are coping OK. While her struggle is over there are plenty here who are fighting on and some may need a bit of your mother’s determination. I am sure she was ready to go in her own mind and now it is for you to remember. I hope you keep in touch with the forum still. All the best for the weeks ahead.

Richard

[sanParticipant]

Thank you Richard for your kind words,it is lovely to hear from you, yes i will stay in touch with the forum, would love to if people think that i may be of help, gosh yes Mum was determined, the Consultant called her a ‘tough lady’ and i dug deep in order to help her through this, though tomorrow [friday 31st] is her funeral bit wobbly about that which i know is natural.Well Richard i will follow you and so hope that you feel better soon and have your remission so that you can do those great things with your lovely daughter and wife without thinking about the illness for a long while, San xx

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