[EmmaParticipant]

Hi all,

Mum is now on cycle 4 of CDT, she has been in hospital since the beginning of December due to having a fall at home and breaking her hip, it was then discovered she had blood clots on her lungs. We were informed the blood clots would need to disperse naturally which would take at least 4 months. As a result, the decision was made that a hip operation would have to wait until the chemo was finished and the blood clots gone. Mum was told she would remain in hospital for those 4 months.
However, within a couple of weeks the medical staff, were all keen to discuss mum returning home. Mum was quite upset and scared at that point as she was fairly immobile, using a zimmer with assistance, very exhausted and feeling weak from the chemo. Her blood pressure was very low (we have no idea why, it has always been normal prior to chemo) and to be honest she was just so overwhelmed with all of the added issues on top of being on the chemo she and I just did not feel, even with a daytime package of support in place that going home at that time was appropriate.
So, the hospital arranged for mum to transfer to a community hospital for rehabilitation. Within 2 weeks the medical staff are now pushing her to go home. Mum feels so weak through the chemo, she is mobile on a zimmer however she has not been further than the ward bathroom since being admitted, she is neutropenic and still has a broken hip! She has already had a fall in hospital with a nurse with her, luckily no major injury sustained! Mum is now getting quite distressed that she is being forced to leave the hospital when she really feels she could not manage at home, especially administering her own medication etc. I am her only child and only family to care for her. I work and have a family and would not be able to provide full time or overnight care. Mum would accept daytime care but not overnight care from an agency. If we could take out of the equation either the broken hip or the chemo mum would be prepared to go home. She said tonight if they sent her home it would kill her. She is petrified. Her blood pressure has risen in the last few days which I am not sure how to take… Good sign or bad sign that she is getting stressed??
My main reason for posting this evening is to ask can a hospital force a patient to leave in these circumstances? My mum is such a positive and independent person, she would not want to stay in hospital just because she is not willing to make an effort to help herself, she is genuinely scared about going home at this moment in time.

On another note does anyone know whether a rise on blood pressure which has been unusually low signals blood clots dispersing? We have no idea how the chemo is going, however I am adopting Tom's view on this…as long as the consultant is smiling and seems happy then we're happy.

Yet another long winded post from me, thank you for taking the time to read it.

Emma. X

[EvaParticipant]

Dear Emma,
Hi – this is Eva. Hope you don't mind me asking, but I couldn't fully understand what you meant by your mum 'not being able to accept overnight care from an agency.' I'm not suggesting she should be able to, I just want to be able to see things more clearly.

Theoretically, hospitals can ask someone to leave, but sometimes if the patient or their family either create a 'fuss' or communicate a considered argument to the most appropriate person in the hierarchy, then the patient's views might be considered with greater care.

I think the 'double whammy' of a broken hip and chemo is a stressful and awful combo. I couldn't be alone for hours at a time if both circumstances applied to me.

Best,
Eva

[tomParticipant]

Hi Emma

Sorry the hospital are trying to throw your Mum out. But am sure they can't just throw your Mum out, they must have a duty of care as your Mum is in their care it should be their duty and am sure the wouldn't want the press to know that they are throwing a Terminally Ill Lady out of her bed when she has all these problems.

It must be hard for you all MM on its own is hard enough to deal with let alone with these added complications.
I also would be worried about going home with the problems your Mum has.

Good Luck.

Love Tom Onwards and Upwards xxx

[HelenParticipant]

Dear Emma
I'd speak to your mums GP and explain the situation, and speak to a McMillan advisor as soon as possible, as Tom says she can't be sent home unless they are confident she can manage. So lots of assessment to be requested, home visit by both physio and occupational therapist – this will take time – might give more confidence for both of you. Mums hip will be at the 'sticky' stage now so becoming less painful, but still fragile and falls are not to be recommended.
Keep in touch
Love Helen

[jmsmythParticipant]

BUMP

[AMorgan123Participant]

FYI: information taken from:

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/nireland/healthcare_ni/healthcare_nhs_healthcare_e/nhs_patients_rights.htm#DischargefromhospitalEnglandWalesandScot

Discharge from hospital
In England, you should not be discharged from hospital until your care needs are assessed and arrangements made to ensure that you will receive any necessary services when you are discharged.

Any assessment should take into account your wishes, the wishes of your family and of any carer. You should be kept fully informed and involved, be given sufficient time to make decisions, and be told how to seek a review of any decisions made. You can ask for a reassessment of your needs if circumstances change in the future.

Unsatisfactory arrangements before or after discharge

You may not be satisfied with arrangements for your discharge from hospital because, for example:

you feel that you need to remain in hospital for further in-patient treatment
you are not satisfied with the community care services that have been arranged for you when you are to leave hospital
you do not want to be sent to a care home.
Before discharge takes place, you, or your family, carer or representative, have the right to ask for a review of the decision which has been made about your eligibility for continuing NHS care. In England, you can also ask for a review after discharge.

If you are not satisfied with arrangements that have been made for you after you have been discharged, you can complain. If you are not satisfied with any medical services you are receiving from the NHS, you should use the NHS complaints procedure. If you are not satisfied with community care services which have been arranged or provided by the local authority, you should complain to the local authority using its complaints procedure.

If you are unhappy with your discharge from hospital or with the arrangements made for you after discharge, you should consult an experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by email, click on nearest CAB.

For information on making a complaint in England, see NHS and local authority social services complaints. In Northern Ireland, see HSC complaints in Northern Ireland.

[DaiCroParticipant]

Excellent, informative, relevant and valuable post… thank you very, very much. 🙂

Regards

Dai.

[EmmaParticipant]

Thank you very much for the above post, very helpful and reassuring.

Emma. X

[EmmaParticipant]

Hi Eva,

Thank you for your response, what I meant was mum does not want an overnight carer. As far as I am aware mum would need to pay for an overnight carer if she felt one was required, but my mum is a very proud and independent lady and does not want a stranger in her home. Unfortunately I would not be able to stay overnight with her due to having a young family.

Emma. X

[EmmaParticipant]

Thanks Tom and Helen for your kind words and supportive advice. Mum was in a more rested mood tonight, I'm hoping it was partially down to the Macmillan nurse visiting her. 1st time since diagnosis. I have heard so many positive things about Macmillan and am looking forward to meeting the lady. Hopefully she will be in regular contact with mum so it's another person she can chat to instead of just boring old me!

Emma. X

[tomParticipant]

your welcome Emma am sure the Mac Nurse will be a great help.
As yet I haven't seen one but thats all Good isn't it 😎

Keep well and love to both you and your Mum xx

Tom Onwards and Upwards xx

[Author]

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