[GillParticipant]

he is not coming home He has lost the plot I never imagined that his end would be like this.

My husband, lover, best friend in the whole world has now gone.

He is still alive but why?

He has no life

It sounds aweful but I was so so relieved that they kept him in hospital tonight. He dosen't know where he is any more At home he was getting up in the night.

Wndering around, and he had no idea where he was or what he was trying to do

He is talking gibberish, rubish gobbldey gook.

His medical team are amazed how this down term has been so fast 1 week and probably dead in 2 weeks well didn't that go wrong

We thought (Stephen and I) that we would have a bit more time to talk about things. But it is not to be

Hey you lot talk talk and talk

One very broken hearted person Gill xxx

PS If anybody knows how I can cope without my reason for living please contcct me:-S

[ilovemymumParticipant]

Hi gill I'm so sorry I don't know what to say but wanted you to know someone is listening I keep checking in to see how everyone is doing and I can't believe you and Stephen are having to go through this so soon x x please don't be alone is there someone you can call? Lots of love Rachael x x x

[HelenParticipant]

Dear Gill
How desperately sad, I have no idea nor have any words to make it better or easier for you. Just know we are thinking of you and Stephen.
Love Helen

[MinParticipant]

My dear Gill
Stephen is no longer in coñtrol, MM is, how difficult to see him go downhill so fast.
Somewhere inside is the man you love,and he will be equally afraid as you are. You need all your family around you at times like this to remind you to stay in control just a little longer.
Once they have made him comfortable and possibly sedated him you will find the strength to do what you have to do.
And also the reason to go on., children and grandchildren who are loved and have loved Stephen,are the reason to move forward. Slowly. Just keep loving him Gill. That's what he would want. And do whatever else he would want.
If you need to talk message me with your number.I am here to listen..I can't make the pain go away, but I can share it if you want.
I feel like many people here, for you, helpless in cyber land. But if I can help I will.
Love
Min x

[eveParticipant]

Gill
There never will be enough time,life and death goes on,but when you are in your situation,you just want the world to stop you will cope with Stephens death,Be brave save those tears for after.
I thought you might like this.

If there is a tomorrow when we are not together
There is something you must always remember
You are braver than you believe
Stronger than you seem
and smarter than you think
But the most important thing is
even if we,re apart,
I will always love you

my daughter,finds it a great comfort,as well as me.Love Eve

[EvaParticipant]

Dear Gill,
I'm deeply sorry that this is happening: that you are being pushed to the limits of your endurance. If Stephen is no longer lucid then I can only hope that he isn't suffering.
The love that you have always felt for each other does not disappear even if someone's consciousness does. You have been there for him right through this illness and its final phase and he would have undoubtedly wanted you to take solace from that love.
Eva

[jmsmythParticipant]

Dear Gill
I like everyone else is devastated for what you and Stephen are going through. My thoughts are with you bothe. God bless

Love jean xx

[tomParticipant]

My Dear Gill and Stephen

I am so sorry to read about you Stephen and your MM grabing you so hard and so Fast, Stephen and Gill my thoughts are with you both at this moment (and have been as am sure you know for a long while) Stay Strong Gill I like most wish we could take the pain away for you and heal Stephen but am afraid we cant.

One reason I can give to help you get through it is that Stephen wants you to get through it, Stephen will know you are sad so please stay strong for Stephen at this difficult time that you are both going through.

Love and Hugs xxxx

Tom (HUGS) xxxxxxx

[MicheleParticipant]

I'm so sorry to hear this news Gill.

All I can say is that when my father went into hospital for the last time, for 2 weeks my family were there every day sadly watching him fade away as we faced the realization that nothing more could be done for him and we had to let him go.

In the end, as much as we loved him, we knew when he'd had enough and had to make the kindest decision to let him leave us behind and be with his Lord.

We know we'll see him again, infact it's because I know where I'm going that I don't fear the end.

Take Care Gill.
Michele x

[TinaParticipant]

Dear Gill,

I am so very very sorry to hear of your news, I do relate to the situation as this is what happened to Patrick. I believe amongst the gibberish and confusion Stephen will have moments of lucidity therefore please keep talking to him I am sure he will take in some of what you are saying. He will be made comfortable and will no doubt be sedated so will not be in pain. Gill if you need to understand end of life procedures please let me know and I can talk you through it slowly.
I know you will find a way to get through this as I did. Patrick too was my whole life.

Love Tina XX

[Anonymous]

dear gill
i have no answers for you but im here if you need someone to listen to im here as are your
other friends on this forum. it is the hardest and cruelest thing in the world to
watch the love of your life become ill. stay strong. big hugs

love sarah xxx

[DaiCroParticipant]

My Dear Gill,

I can hear your heart breaking from here.

Stephen is in the right place but it sounds as if he still has some sort of mobility and you haven't said if the Magician & Co are going to continue with Stephen's preferred treatment. Will Stephen's ability to communicate be helped by that treatment? Have your wonderful medics officially abandoned active treatment for end of life procedures and have you made any plans for that route?

I am trying to look at the practical side of your situation but all I want to do is offer you unconditional love and support and galactic, universal prayers.

Whatever happens next I think you need to sit down with someone (MacMillan Nurse?) and make plans for seeing this through as gently and as painlessly as possible.

Gill, you are your reason for coping… please talk to Min and Tina, try and get some sort of perspective on what is to come… you, Min, Tina, Sarah, Ros and so many others deserve a chance to live and find a life that will bring you back to a better version of you. Better than now that is. You deserve a life without the burden of care and the helpless observation of your one true love in pain and distress.

I'm rambling now… I can do nothing practical to help but I hope you seek solace in your family and all the practical help in the world right now… it is there, please seek it out and let them share the burden of practicalities on your behalf.

Much love.

Dai.

[zasrsParticipant]

Dear Gill
I am so sorry i can add nothing to what the Min and Tina and Dia have posted. I do feel for you Gill, Gordon,s end came so fast we did not begin to sort things out and he went in on himself for the last 24 hours and would not communicate all of you reading this Please talk to each other lots and lots.

My thoughts are with you Gill.

With love

Sarah

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