[dawstepParticipant]

hello eve
glad to hear slim is out of hospital.i understand your dithering over spending such a lot of money.i hope slim enjoys his scooter,im sure he will. i also understand your frustration with the nhs.we all want our loved ones not pushed from pillar to post.we want to get them settled in the right ward,not in A & E.

best wishes
stephen

[dawstepParticipant]

hello eve
your right it is the every day things that i miss,so much.i do go out most weekends now but i still find it hard,with her not being there.ive lent dawns scooter my sister inlaw,she had a hip replacement.still not walking properley.the scooter broke down in to 4 parts.it all fitted into my vw golf boot.i think i paid just under a £1000.before i got the golf i had a peugeot 206 & it all fitted in the boot other than the seat.been nice talking to you.be thinking of you both.go on,suprise slim with a scooter.

best wishes
stephen

[dawstepParticipant]

hello again eve
i am still trying to pick up the pieces.just had another knock back,my dad died suddenly a couple of weeks ago.my kids tell me im so much better since ive changed my job.i do feel alot better.i was talking to my mum the other day & i told her i feel like ive been abandoned by dawn.i know she didnt,but thats how i feel. i do still struggle at times.im still glad i changed my job.i dread to think what my life would have been like if i didnt.when slim was in hospital i felt the same when dawn was.nice to hear slim feels a bit better now.dawn had a wheel chair at first.i said to her shall we go & look at a mobility scooter,so we did.we went in to the shop,found a nice compact one.she sat in it,drove in the shops carpark.she had this big smile on her face.i can still see her face now.can we buy it,she said.so we did.she said it gave her a bit of independance.i would walk along side her whilst we were out together,couldnt keep up with her going up the hills though lol.she enjoyed that scooter.i shed a few tears writing this,also made me smile aswell.
best wishes

stephen

[dawstepParticipant]

hello eve
just to let you know im thinking of you & your family.when i was looking after my dawn,i done everything that that she asked me to do.however, it was mentally straining.we do anything for the ones we love.i just tried to be strong,very hard at times though.we were always there for each other.

best wishes
stephen xx

[dawstepParticipant]

i hope you had a great day

best wishes
stephen h

[dawstepParticipant]

hello dai
i can understand janets frustration.you were poorly & you shouldnt have been there for so long.i had a similar experience with dawn.i hope your new regime goes well.
best wishes
stephen

[dawstepParticipant]

hello dai
thankyou for your message.good luck & fingers x with your light chain results.as you can see i wrote a message to gill,im feeling so much better in myself. i know ive still got a long way to go though.joe & jade are feeling much better too.
all the best
stephen

[dawstepParticipant]

hello gill
its stephen h here,dawns husband.dawn passed away 29/01/2012.i must have broken down & cried every day for six months.im not a person that usually cries.since then i can talk about dawn without breaking down.dawn was everything to me.i still talk to her.i always talk to her when i have my shower,i know its seems stupid,but it makes me feel a little better.in the early days of losing dawn i had 3 or 4 spooky things happen whilst i was in there.not horrible things.i told my family about these things.it made me feel comfortable.this is probably why i talk to her in the shower.sadly these spooky things dont happen anymore.all i can say is you carry on talking to your stephen gill.your friends on this special website ,some of them spoke to me,said it will get easier as the days pass.i didnt want things to get easier i just wanted my dawn back.but your friends were right things have got easier.ive recently changed my job.all i was doing was working,eating & sleeping.my boss wouldnt let me cut back on my hours.i was afraid i was cracking up & something was going to give.since ive changed my job,5 weeks ago. ive put on half a stone & my friends & family say how much better i look & how much ive changed for the better since ive left my other job.its a shame my other employer wouldnt help me.i was there for nearly 10 years.they told me that they didnt want me to leave.i really didnt want to leave,but i couldnt carry on under those conditions.they said it wouldnt be fair on the other drivers if they cut back my hours.now im a dustcart driver & my hours are so much better.sorry for going on for so long.i dont know how long it will take you to feel better in yourself,but one day it icome gill. i send you & your family & everyone on this special website my best wishes.

stephen h

[dawstepParticipant]

hello gill
its been along time since ive been here.i feel for you & your family.my name is stephen to.my dawn passed away 29/01/12.i must have cried every day for six months,i still have my moments now.people said to me it will get easier.those words dont help you at the time.all i wanted to do was go to sleep & never wake up.theres not aday goes by when i dont think of her.im bottling up now.she was my baby.i was very angry with life,to be honest i still am.all i can tell you is how it is for me.we are all deal with things in different ways.i dont cry every day.i will be watching something on tv or listening to the radio & suddenly i will burst into tears.i still feel lost & empty without my dawn.people are allways asking me how am i.i just say im plodding on,thats how i feel.i still take one day at a time.you do the same.i will be thinking of you.
best wishes
stephen h

[dawstepParticipant]

hello dai
such sad news,the loss of bridget.you both have helped so many people with your replys to our messages.like nicola i havent been on for a long time.i try & keep myself busy every day.my thoughts are with you dai.

best wishes
stephen

[dawstepParticipant]

hello min
thankyou for your message.ive had my mum telling me not to forget my kids too.i am trying to keep it all together & trying to look after joe & jade.joe is 24 & jade is nearly 18.they seem to be coping better than me.im still taking one day at a time.thankyou for your advice.i have read a bit about you.you have had very hard times to.my thoughts are with you.

best wishes

stephen

[dawstepParticipant]

hello sarah
im so sorry i havent answered your message.i havent visited this site for a while.im so sorry for the loss of your husband.my kids joe & jade say i dont talk to them.what do i say to them.its so difficult. like you say ,people say it does get better,not for me either im still so bloody angry.all i want to do is go to bed and sleep my life away.my thoughts are with you to.
best wishes

stephen

[dawstepParticipant]

hello nicola

my thoughts are with you & you family. like everyone says take baby steps
best wishes
stephen

[dawstepParticipant]

hello eve

it is horrible going to bed & getting up in the mornings.i will try & take some of your advice.your right the kids do worry about saying or doing the wrong thing.my daughter comes in to my bedroom all night checking to see if im all right.bless her.i have been emailing dai aswell.
look after yourself

best wishes stephen

huggett.s@btinternet.com

[dawstepParticipant]

thankyou tom

im trying to be strong,very difficult though

best wishes

stephen

[Author]

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