Hi Buzz, Sorry to hear about your situation and I guess you may be one of those where it is easily treatable to a good response but comes back very quickly. We all pin our hopes on SCT being “it” but it never changed my minimal residual disease etc in any way – I am 2 yrs from SCT – so did it deepen my response? who knows as there is no test to determine this. In your shoes my priority would be to look to going to some top people for second opinions/trials – this helpline will tell you who/where they are. If I were you I would focus on the fact that they have not found the treatment compatable with your MM yet but there are a few more combinations to try and this could mean all the difference. Jet Black (blogger) relapsed quickly from her SCT but is doing well from her allo – remember, you are young and have many options. In the meantime, whilst work is a good distraction make sure it doesn’t wear you down and take “breathers” if necessary to make sure you stay at your optimum health. I think you have a tough time ahead based on your results – but it is all still there to play for – so acknowledge this and actively seek out good coping strategies that will get you through the doubts/down days – flex your mental muscles as much, if not more, as your physical muscles – consider yourself an athlete preparing for the race of your life as they put equal measure in their strong mental attitude. This is a bit different from the “distraction” of exercise/work and all of them have their role to play in helping us through this. I tend to “harp” on about mental wellbeing and mindfulness because, to me, that is what gets you through this especially when young with children – I feel I can/could destroy myself/life much more quickly through my own mental torture much faster than MM could ravish my body! – on treatment or in remission it will now always be there, never forgotten, so we all need to intelligently know how to deal with effectively. I am not intending to be the voice of doom as I live a great life, have a good work/life balance, exercise well etc but I do attribute this to exercising mental strength on a daily basis via strategies that work for me. Your partner must be also in mental turmoil and probably holding things back to show “strength” for you so now would be a really good time to get literature/talks/ mindfulness “taster” etc that you could both look at and decide/try what will work for you – tool up for the fight! stay positive and take one day at a time and you’ll come through this. Good luck
Rebecca
Hi thanks, I am probably not as fit I think but for nearing 55yrs now think I am fit – I can manage about 40 minutes on treadmill at 5.8 miles per hour only! think I could go on a lot longer but boredom more than anything sets in. My consultant said it was abnormal and asked if I wanted an ECg but as I feel ok declined last time but think I will reconsider as when I was at work it was still only 47 – which I now find disconcerting. I have read a few people comments about a 2nd SCT on both the UK and US site where, without much specific detail, more of a “warning” when going into the 2nd SCt that any benefits gained can be negated by it totally damaging either heart or lungs – but I guess for some it’s perhaps a step too far and as with everything, you never know if that’s you until you’ve taken the plunge. RE low blood pressure/heart beat following SCT (altho mine has occurred more in the last 6 months only) one guy has such a gap between resting beats that it appears to set off the flatlining machines at the hospital when wired up and he was told they never really know what impact the SCT will have on the heart. After my SCt I would say my fitness was back 6 months after but that was gained totally from the 3rd to 6th month when I was feeling better. I play tennis and when I went back after my SCT I literally had the speed of movement of a very old person and my coach even suggested I started back with a green soft ball (for the little kids) as my reflexes etc were sooooo slow. It took going down every day for 10 – 15 minutes only just gently having a knock to start to get anything back (tho I was quite ill when I was home from SCt). It was a very slow process that took a lot of determination to resume what I had before but somehow I just started gaining momentum after the third month when I started to feel better. I hasten to say I chose not to rush back to work and take 6 months off + more with accrued holidays just to concentrate on getting fit and having “me” time. had I gone back after 3 months it would have been a much harder slog and whilst I was off my main job was to get back to normal/fitness. Good luck and thanks.
Hi Mike, If you don’t mind sharing I am interested in any heart complications you may have had during SCt – it is an area I am researching at them moment. I had my SCT over 2 yrs ago and since them my BP is on the low side (not uncommon from the US site) and I now have a resting heart rate of 45 – 50 – tho generally 50 – and yet I am extremely fit etc.I have heard of a few others in the US where this has occurred and is unexplained. I should be offered a 2nd SCt when in relapse so am keen to gather all experiences re. the impact on the heart as I know it is much more likely on the 2nd one. Thank you
Rebecca
Helen, Glad you are still posting and more just carry on carrying on…I guess its a bitter sweet day – a reminder of “that” day but also a celebration that you are still in the race. Guess I’d be laughing and crying but more importantly celebrating my strength of body, mind and spirit. good luck x
Rebecca
Hi Mark, Sorry to hear you are here at such a young age – I was diagnosed just before my 51st birthday due to kidney failure and following chemo/stem cell transplant I am currently in remission and I guess similar to you in that I have it, it does not require treatment and it is causing no damage for now and have bloods done every 3 months as part of the standard “wait and watch” policy – for me this is comforting as I was diagnosed at a critical stage and so take heart you will be treated before it can do much damage. I chose not to tell anyone for as long as possible as I felt this allowed us to lead our lives without the constant questions/check ups/ worry instilled on family. We all have different ways to cope but it may be easier if you can just digest and learn all about it without the added pressure of other peoples expectations/questions also. It takes a lot of time to come to terms with such a diagnose and to accept it all.Hopefully you will smoulder for many years and perhaps the time to tell is when it becomes active and requires treatment – I suggest you think carefully about the 2 scenarios of “to tell” or “not to tell” pros/cons because once it’s out of the bag there is no going back and it takes up a bit more of your time/life that I personally do not want to devote to this nasty cancer. This is a marathon and not a sprint so you can seek/digest information at your own pace as treatment is not yet on the cards so there is no hurry. I was pretty shell shocked for quite some time and only when I began to accept the diagnosis did I seem able to research it. Take care and remember “worry does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today of its strenghth”. This type of cancer is a real mind**** so start practicing good mental coping strategies now as this is what will smooth the path on what is now a rockier ride through life. Take care.
Rebecca
Hi Mag, Since having MM I have not bothered with travel insurance when travelling in Europe – following my consultants advice. I go when I am well and doubt whether MM would ever need immediate treatment whilst on hols – and I guess I would just book a plane home pronto if necessary. I tried once and found the cost/questioning didn’t really do it for me. I know that means I risk repatriation costs etc if I get run over but what are the odds? (famous last words!). I feel I am careful with my lifestyle, drink and diet so do not want to bump up the cost of cheap hols unnecessarily and you do have the EU card to use. If I had to fly home early I think I have saved that already by not having it. I think when comparing costs the cheaper ones are only good if they payout ok. Be careful to ensure they have full, comprehensive details of all your medical else they may try and wriggle out of paying even if its not MM related. Good luck
Rebecca
Rebecca
Hi, I echo what has been said – the first cycle is way the worst and then you/your body gets used to it a bit more. I would write a diary of your cycle so you can plan around what suits you and your reactions. I totally agree to go with the energy and clean the oven, bottom cupboards into the wee hours – there is a strange satisfaction to getting round to all the jobs you always mean to! I was quite high and would have 3 conversations at once and not listen to the response before my mouth ran off again (and quite loud) – funny the first cycle – but I then tried to limit social activities on that one evening. When a bit down I always had treats planned to brighten my day – little personal treats go a long way – not expensive just some good quality time doing whatever floats your boat – you’ve earned it. As cycles continued I found I was so tired at night due to continuing activities like exercise that I began to sleep as normal. I hated the bloating of my face (tho not my body) and my family used to have a good laugh at my expense on my dex as it visibly expanded – did go down a bit then but always bloated more on dex day. Good luck.
Rebecca
Hi Phil, Fabulous news – well done you – great to hear news like this as it gives me a real boost. Even tho I know it’s all very individual but by just highlighting this individuality means that none of us can be ruled out for a long remission.Hope you are getting the bubbly out tonight and celebrating your bodys achievement of outwitting those mealy myeloma cells. Sometimes I buy it just for passing another 3 month review! Great excuse for pushing the boat out.
Rebecca
Hi Ivan, At what gfr was you prior to transplant please – was it a known big risk with your kidneys to transplant? I have low kidney function and they were not affected by the transplant but always like to gain information in the event of future treatment. Thanks
Rebecca
Hi, sorry to hear your remission has not been very long and am glad you have good coping strategies in place. I totally agree with regards yoga and meditation. I used to do yoga as a calming influence during treatment (now abandoned in remission) and went to some Buddhist teachings which included mindfulness and I guess I learnt that I am in control of my emotions and I can choose how to react and therefore I can choose to make myself miserable or I can choose to move forwards. At a time when everything seems out of your control it is good to make peace with it and move forward. However, I did exercise a lot and I think this was for 2 reasons 1. I always did so it was a “carry on as normal/won’t be beaten” attitude 2. In hindsight, I feel I was punishing my body that had let me down and I seemed to take my anger out only on my body. I was constantly testing to see how much I could push it and at times I also knew this was very unwise because I had heart arrhythmia during treatment. What I got from exercise was a feeling of being “normal” “well” “happy endorphins” and a feeling that well “if I can do that I can’t be that bad” type of thing – so I guess it helped/s my innate denial that this will kill me (which I sensibly know it will but still feel it won’t – strange I know!). MM is a real mind game and I am going back to good mental practises now in readiness for a relapse. I would love to meditate and have tried so many times but never really feel I achieve it but aim to keep trying. I am also learning Reiki in the hope that it will prove useful for all the family when a relapse occurs. I guess a healthy mixture of mind and body things will smooth the waters. I do think that anyone who has MM should try different things to help them cope. I hope your 2nd SCT does the trick. It would be really good to continue to post as I think there will be many having to contemplate 2nd Scts and worry about the impact on ones body and it is always useful to hear individual stories. Good luck. Rebecca
Hi Katy, Whilst you don’t lose your hair on many of the treatments it does get in very bad condition – mine was/is always shoulder length – if I had my time over (which I will at some point) I would opt for a short haircut. Regards wigs – I chose not to tell anyone about my cancer and spent a fortune on very natural wigs so no-one would know – matched to my hair/length etc – cost a fortune as they are hard to keep well at shoulder length. Again, I would cut hair in treatment and go for short wigs (that can’t rub on collars etc)- you do not have to pay a fortune to have fantastic hair. I missed my wig when I finally took it off as it was great to just pop on and go! but after SCT I found it too hot to play tennis in the sun with the wig on. Throughout treatment and even now I collected motivational quotes to “gee” me on. The first one was always quoted on this site by a past member Eve and it became my mantra and when my mind started to wonder into unhealthy territory I repeated it over and over again – ” Worry does not empty tomorrow of it’s troubles, it empties today of its strength”. I believe MM is a real mind game – much harder that any of the treatment… I also liked “Be miserable or motivate yourself – its always your choice”. I am sure you will find your own particular coping mechanisms that will help you along the way.
Hi Sandra, Sorry to hear your news but even on the rise it could be a watch and wait until treatment actually needs to start so can’t think of anything better to set you up for the ride ahead than a good old jaunt with friends before travelling abroad becomes a no-no. Go for it
Rebecca x
Hi Katy, At 62 your mum will no doubt do the treatment including an SCT. She is lucky in that she will be treated early and therefore her body is in a much stronger position for the task ahead. I was diagnosed at 51 and am 2 years at xmas post SCT and no treatment (for now). Please ensure you stop supplements when treatment commences as some can interfere with their efficiency, exercise and eat healthily and plan plenty of little treats a long the way. None of it is pleasant but it is perfectly doable. Hope your mum comes on here because as treatment starts its really good to ask others who have been there about anything that you are wondering about or worrying about. This is tough so start mental discipline and that means trying to not let MM take over your life/thoughts all the time. You need to be positive and realise quickly that worry does not help anything and merely drains your strength – look towards something that will help you stay strong/relaxed. I liked to exercise and that helped me a lot mentally and I also read up and took a few mindfulness classes – this helped me focus on day to day living without constantly wondering about the future/family. The stronger you make yourself the easier this time will be. I am also a great believer in treats – you will know from your first treatment cycle your up days and the down days – plan things to fit this rhythm – ride the waves. I always felt it important to remember that “you cannot always control what happens to you but you can control what happens in you”. When my hair was growing back and I was having a “bad” hair day I was reminded that my hair did not control my emotions – it was all me and how I chose to react to it- I think we all need a different mindset in challenging situations and the earlier it is developed the easier it will be.
Best wishes,
Rebecca
Hi you too, well done and now for the easy/enjoyable bit of recovery. Have read your posts with interest (mine was 2 years ago this xmas) – for some reason this site allows my sign in about once in 50 attempts so I am a bit late in the “encouragement” dept. Would add that in 3 months suspect you will be totally back to full fitness/life. Take care with the winter bugs and try not to rush back to work – respect that this has been a major trauma (whether you accept it as such or not!) and start planning next years goals with great hope and zeal of a very long treatment free remission – yeeaah. The memory of SCT fades very quickly for the “patient” however please recognise every step you have taken will be firmly imprinted on your families minds so …lots of treats, indulgence and whatever floats your boat for all. Enjoy
Rebecca
Thanks for that, yes it is less sensitive to my translocations but will throw my hat in the ring as nothing to lose. Am still ok but can’t shake off a cold I’ve had for 3 weeks and played 3 1/2 hrs tennis today but been told by the coach that I’ve got to stop playing now until next week and recover as my tiredness is affecting my performance. All sounds very normal and I have been trying to play through it but – when you put your myeloma hat on does it all start looking at a dodgy stage? I am ashamed to say that instead of my 2 1/2 days on easy hours I have recently increased them to now 3 long 10 hr days which makes me tired and grumpy as well. Have been very lax with everything so going back to the drawing board and taking some vits, relinquishing my extra hours and hopefully my January bloods will still be ok – but what worrys me is if they are not will I be plagued with the fact that I increased hours (albeit temporarily etc?). Ah well such is the mm bubble…gonna just prick it now! Hope you have never looked back on your retirement. Thanks
Rebecca
