[zasrsParticipant]

Hi Min
I was so glad i gave up work, being a nurse there is no way i could ever look after anyone again, i would only need someone to moan that i was late for a visit, and i would sock them one or two!!
Do you look at so many couples with greyish hair and feel so sad that the time to spend with gordon/peter has been taken away, that there is no one to chukle about the grandchildren with, friends are wonderful, but there is such a lonlyness.
I have been offered many trips and treats now and for next year, which i will take, hopefully you have things planned as well. Are you told how brave you are? As I was at a wedding last week, not sure what i am supposed to do! Curl up in a ball and never venture out!! Not me or I suspect you!
Just had a brandy time for the little white pill then blessed sleep!
with love sarah xx

[zasrsParticipant]

Hi Roz and Min
I am also, like you Min suurounded by imagies of gordon when was well, I need help with my youngest son, who (thank go )lives at home with me,how selfish I am. Roz you are on this road ahead of me, i am sorry i do not know the words to help.

sarah xx

[zasrsParticipant]

Dear Min
Hugs many of them, i need them as well. I know so well how you feel, still keep thinking gordon will be home from hospital like you so use to being alone. Francesca waved to papa on his cloud tonight, broke my heart.

with love sarah xx

[zasrsParticipant]

Hi Min

Thank you for your very brave post. Gordon would not speak to me in the last few days in fact looking back we hardley spoke in the last few weeks, I because i was terrified of saying the wrong think and him getting cross with me, both of which happened alot over the last 10 years, one of the last lovley things he said was to say sorry, for what i do not know, i was in too much of a state to ask.
Dear Min it is so difficult, I think now of everything i should have said, but at least i could hold him and tell him i loved him as he died, not every one is that lucky. How brave of you to make such a decision for peter when such shock, we are so lucky to have our famalies around us at times like this.
Those little white pills are wonderful just got another months supply, they go so well with wine, rather to much in my case!!!

with love sarah xx

[zasrsParticipant]

Hi Bridget
So pleased your app for rx is getting closer, i don't mind you moaning and groaning!!! I do and i havent any pain!!
with love sarah xx

[zasrsParticipant]

hi friends

thank you for your postings i will take on board all you have said thank thank you.

my neighbour took me to gordon ramseys resturant in chelsea today and insisted it was her and her husbands treat, what a treat!! It was wonderful, what a lovley friend i have.

my father has not changed according to my sister, but his sweet lady driend was knocked over by the wind yesterday and is now in intensive care with a fractured skull! I feel as though i am in some sort of black comedy.i need a really good loud row with someone when i mentioned this to my son, he said he wanted one as well at least we did not have one with each other!! so watch this space the skies over sussex could become very bkack and noisy!!

with love sarah

[zasrsParticipant]

hi bridget
i do hope all goes well tomorrow, and the proff gets to grips with your wretched pain. there cannot be anything worse than pain.
with love sarah xx

[zasrsParticipant]

Hi Min

I just know tomorrrow will a wonderful celebration of Peter's life, as Gordon's was. I still have a problem with 'celebration' I wanted and still do, rage against the injustice of losing my husband! But I went along with the flow, and the very funny yorkshire vicar!.
You will be in my thoughts tommorow, I am so sorry you family is not around you for long, as mine are all the time!
Dear min keep in touch I find a lot of comfort on this site byt so many tears, where on earth do tears come from do they never dry up!?

With love Sarah xx

[zasrsParticipant]

Hi Bridget

Just read your post so sorry about the pain you are in, hospices are wonderful for pain control,pain is so awful, watching gordon in pain was terrible like so many men he would not admit to the amount of pain he was in. cyber hugs but not to tight cause i do not want to hurt you.

with love sarah xxx

[zasrsParticipant]

Dear Min
I am so so sorry that Peter has lost his battle with mm, i am so shocked,i how you feel believe me. I am sure you have lots of family around you. they are always with me, to the point sometimes i want them to go, but when they do i want them to come back!
The best comfort is that Peter is no longer in pain, it really is the one thing that keeps me sane at the moment and 1/2 a little white pill at bed time.

Take care of yourself min i wish i could give you such a big hug, hugs do help so much.

with love sarah xx

[zasrsParticipant]

Hi amelie

What a wondful post, I know you will keep that beutiful night in your heart. I have many memories in mine.x

with love sarah x

[zasrsParticipant]

Dear Dai

Hope you both have a lovley holiday, keep well!

Best wishes Sarah

[zasrsParticipant]

Good bye Gaye, a very sad farewell to lovley lady, at least like gordon, she is no longer in pain.

my sympathy to all her friends and family.

sarah xx

[zasrsParticipant]

Hi Min

What a hoot, are big macs classed as part of a neutropenic diet?!!

Hope all is still bleeding wonderful with the kitchen

Sleep well

Sarah xxx

[zasrsParticipant]

Hi All

The harvest is all in, it rained the next day, i am sure gordon had something to do with it! I do not remember ever finishing this eary before, only 1976 and then we had nothing to cut because everything had dried up!

Still keep thinking gordon is in hospital, dreading reality, i will keep taking the little white pills at night!

keep well my friends

sarah xx

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