[RozParticipant]

Thanks Min

Michael died faster than anyone expected too, nothing was discussed one minute he was in remission, then infected with his arm and all the delusions so we never spoke about him dying. I chose everything and still hope I did it right.

Its been 10 months and I'm thinking about what you said so one of the lady doctors may get to see me because I'm no good like this. Thanks for that!!

Have a great holiday, enjoy the fountains and have as much sleep as you can.

Hi Tina,
Glad you had a nice holiday. I wish Michael would have been more like your Patrick.. He wouldn't discuss him dying. I just got give us a kiss, my love will keep you strong.

All the best to you both
Love Roz xx

[TinaParticipant]

Hi Roz / Min

Pat died unexpectedly too. I called an ambulance for him one night as he developed a chest pain and he ended up in A & E for 11 hrs as there was not a bed available for him on the haem ward. His chest pain went away but he had taken morphine for the pain which he had not had for a while due to kidney failure earlier on. The morphine resulted in hallucinations and agitation which got worse over 24 hrs and eventually he slipped into a coma. I was robbed of the chance of saying goodbye but I sat by his side holding his hand until he eventually left me.

I had given up work in March as he deteriorated and I needed to care for him at home. It was at this time and May that we talked and shared our most inner thoughts. I remember us both sitting looking out of the window one cold morning watching the sun come up and he said then that "it won't be long now" and he was right two days later he died.

Love and strength,
Tina XX

[RozParticipant]

Hi Tina
Sorry for getting it wrong. Michael just wouldn't discuss anything like that he just said stop being morbid, or thanks you want to get rid of me.Even when Michael was delusional and confused he used to say I can do it, you don't have to struggle, he wouldn't admit it until the end when he told me he wanted to see everyone while he could then no-one else was to see him as he was dying, but thats the by and by.
I know he won't like what I've become but you can't turn it off just like that either.
I can't believe it myself.Hope your toe picks up

Hi Tom yes Michaels heard me alot over the 10 months, well I talk to him and shout to him anyway. I've told him that our daughter hasn't been there for me like she promised him. I've asked him to give me strength like he said before he died but I'm still a wreck. Just have to see what happens.
All the best to you
Roz xx

[TinaParticipant]

Roz,

You didn't get it wrong at all.
It is still early days yet and as you say you can't turn your feelings of just like that – wish there was a switch to flick to dampen our sorrow. You have always sounded like a strong person to me and I am sure you will regain that strength as time goes on.
Hang on in there

Tina X

[mhnevillParticipant]

Dear Min

I do hope that by the time your holiday ends you feel really revitalised to face the long window. I started to look at winter eveenings differently when a friend, who lived on her own, shared how she loved pulling the curtains and settling down in front of the warm fire and could just please herself.

I think you are dong really well considering the hard time you have had.

All blessings.

Mavis

[MinParticipant]

Hi everyone,
Well I am home the holiday is just a memory a very pleasant one as it happens I am totally rejuvenated as I slept for sometimes 10hrs a night AND 2 hrs by the pool which is an indication of how tired I was after 2and a bit years of caring for Peter
Most of that time I was working too, until March when I left work to spend some quality time with whatever time he had left?.. Never imagining it was going to be such a short time before I would acquire the title widow..
I was very apprehensive about the holiday but it was not in anyway bad. My son making up for Peter in a wonderful way. I missed Peter of course and chatted to him every day weather in my head or out loud making the People sharing the space by the pool think I had totally lost the plot ! He never answers me back but then he never did so I was expecting the impossible.
I put the success of my holidays down to reading lots about of all things guardian Angels. A subject Angelina who we have not heard of for some time introduced me to.
No I have not lost my mind on the contrary I have a new sort of lease of life. The kitchen is finaly finished and I have to consider the hallway next. I have had workmen installing UPVC outside where painters normally maintain soffits and drain pipes
I have my friends on here to thank for keeping me sane after the shock of becoming a widow so soon and will be eternally grateful for your contributions
Thanks MIn

[RozParticipant]

Hi Min

Keep up the good work, keep with the guarding angels now your back home he's still protecting you.
Glad your kitchen is finished, and glad you have a new lease of life.
All the best for your future happiness
Love Roz xx

I'm dreading next month

[tomParticipant]

Hi Min

A Warm Welcome Home 😀

I am very pleased you slept well both at nite and by the pool in the sunshine, its Good to chat to Peter and am sure we dont know of any Man that dare to answer back ha ha.

I know your guardian Angels as well as Peter are still looking down on you.

Love and Hugs (()))

Tom xxx

[GillParticipant]

Welcome Home Min I am pleased that you seem to have slotted back into home without too much trouble. You sound as though you are going to be very busy in the coming months

Love from Gill xxx

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