This topic contains 42 replies, has 15 voices, and was last updated by 
tom 12 years, 7 months ago.
Min
Why an earth are you running yourself down,i know how tired and shattered you must feel and how worried you are,but to think you are not a good carer against the professionals!!!!!!,
You are for getting you are married to an ex service man who,s form of defence is to attack ,and the sad thing about this in a few months he will not remember a bl…dy thing about this with a temp at 39.3.you should never have been in this position in the first place,So don,t you dare run yourself down.Your worth much more than that!!.
Have a good cry wash your face and put a new face on,there is a saying"you always hurt the one you love" and I would bet Peter does not realise or appreciate what you have been going through,but what do you expect, he is an ex service man,tough little cookies they are,and they expect there wives to be the same( had my rant ) keep you chin up.Eve
Well Well, wish he was!
Yesterday Peter went for a bag of that clotting stuff and a chat with Dr. He came home and told me that he had to go in on Saturday for two bags of whole blood.
From the time he got home, he was feeling cold. took his temperature and it was a little raised. some time later I took the dogs out and came back to find the fire on in the lounge and a heatwave like Egypt hit me.
Peter was freezing. ugh huh.
I took his temperature again and it was well over 38-6 but as the room felt like the tropics I wasn't surprised. He was sitting there in his winter cardigan telling me to shut the door from the draft.
Needless to say by the time I took it again when it was cooler it was less but still raised.
This has now become a battle of wills with me begging him to ring the hospital and him telling me to leave him alone.
He went off this morning for his two bags of blood and I had to ring before he got there and grass him up to the staff.
He has just rung me to tell me he is not allowed home. Surprise surprise.
Why do I have to do battle every time he is unwell?
Why so they keep sending him home ?
This is his second admission since transplant and I cannot get them to keep him in. What have I got to do to make them understand he will not admit to being unwell and hates being an in patient.
I am sitting here having packed his bag but thinking he can jolly well wait as I wanted to go with him this morning and he flew off the handle at me.
I am siting here passing the time to make him sufficiently worried that I might not turn up with his jimjams and toiletries.
What is the problems if you are sick you go to the place where they treat sick people. end of.
You don't come home and suffer and jeopardise your chances by having a wobbly.
Thus endeth the rant again.
Min
Hi Min,
You are making me laugh,I know it is not nice,but you know I have been there before,I made up my mind next time it happens I will refuse to take him home.I liked the grassing up bit:-)wicked
I have told Slim I refuse to go though all that again,I felt so guilty I blamed myself for not calling an ambulance sooner.He does not remember much of that time.
Sorry to hear you had problems with your kitchen,you had me laughing again about the smell,that was a good one.
Poor Peter does not know what,s best for him at the moment and your getting,all the back lashing,must have been like that when you were working,we just keep forgiving them.:-P
Hope things are better in a few days love Eve
hi min
dont beat yourself up about your caring skills i dont think peter would be hear if it wasnt for you and your care so chin up and look after yourself
Love Jo
Hi Min Your post reads like a breath of fresh air to me, it made me smile, you sound just like me and Michael. He hates hospital he talks about nothing else but going home before we even get there, and its always my fault when they keep him! Its got to the point now where he says Ill wait a while longer to see if my temp goes down. I love him to bits but sometimes ah——-
Sue x
What a day, I have had.
I got to the hospital to find him having his 3rd bag of whole blood and no Idea that I had got him in there.
Then I remembered I had forgotten to pack his slippers doh.
I listened to the story of his admission, and a short while later he got dreadful rigors shaking uncontrollably. While the nurse went off to call the Dr and get some soluble paracetamol, He asked me to pass his dressing gown as he was cold.
Of course he was cold he had a bludy temperature of 38.3. I let him have it on his feet and he grabbed it up to his waist and told me to go get a blanket. I could barely speak for laughing, and told him that as he had a fever he had to be kept cool. OMG he lost the plot at this point and told me that in the movies when people got a fever they piled on the clothes on them to break the fever.
So we ended up having a dreadful argument about his responses to temperatures, over the past few weeks and I threatened that he would not let him come home if we had to go thru this performance every time he knew he had a fever. I left.
I actually went home to get his slippers but it gave him time to think.
When I got back he got my wrath with both barrels and I got the usual apologies but the stress is unbearable.
I wouldn't do it if I didn't have his best at heart and I must be going soft in my old age but I give up too easily these days. I know he is suffering but what can one say in reply.
I daren't say I am suffering because whilst I am its not on the same scale but I know if I was ill and behaved in the same way he would have a hissy fit.
I am at my wits end with worry and had visions of him going into a home as I refuse to take on the role of jailer.
Hospitals are not pleasant but they are places that make you well.
Girls you made me laugh its good to know I am not the only one with an awkward cuss for a husband.
But this mm has given him RED BULL WINGS, that I have never encountered and i am at a loss to deal with it.
Oh Min you must want to shake him till his teeth rattle !! I am sure he knows you are looking out for him but I bet its a case of trying to remain in control when he feels out of his depth . I hope you can talk some sense into him when he is feeling a little better To be honest your post has made me feel a little guilty I am not very good at getting myself into hospital and I prevaricate as long as I can Jeff keeps very quiet though and I think he knows I usually come round in the end Perhaps I wont be quite so slow in future though as I suppose he is feeling the pressure too I hope your weekend gets better Min and they sort Peters infection out quickly love Bridget x
[u]Well I know I posted it once?? so here we are again 🙂
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Hi Min
Well this post has had me Lol, and I am sorry as it must be a bugger (can i say that word?) for you.
I know what I am like when Elaine tells me am not well 🙁 thankfully thats been a long time ago) I say al ring hospital later lets see how it goes?:-/ But as usual my young bride is correct:-S
Hope you soon are sorted and Peter is not as stubborn as I he he
One smiley "Onwards and Upwards" Tom xx
Hi Min
I do hope you are having a more peaceful Day and that Peter is doing well.
What is it with men? A few weeks ago Stephen was due to phone one of his nurses to make an appointment to have his Hickman line flushed later in the week. He woke that morning with a temperature and rigors.
He said he would tell Sarah that he was not well when he phoned. Lying Hound! I was in the room when he phoned all bright and breezy and not a word about being unwell.
I did not even hide my anger. As soon as he had put the phone down I phoned Sarah, in front of Stephen, and told her the truth. She spoke to Stephen again and persuaded him to call in and let her check him out. I got a slightly muttered remark from him about being a grass and when we got to the hospital she took his temperature checked him out and (as he put it) grassed him up to Dr. S on the phone.
Result 3 days in hospital on an antibiotic and saline drip for an infection in his Hickman line that had started to get into his body.
When it comes to idiot husbands I feel as though I have been there, done that and should have the T shirt that says "I GRASSED MY HUSBAND UP BIG TIME"8-)
Gill
Its quite a relief to find I am not the only one who has to get a wayward hubby in check.
I thought I was alone in being married to a martyr who would rather be ill than admit he needs help.
I dont take any pleasure in 'grassing' him up but at least they know not to look at me when they ask him a question!
He is very sorry pixie now for putting me thru this and feeling very poorly slept the whole of my visit yesterday still has lots of temperatures and they are flushing him out constantly to get rid of pockets of chemo that seem to be the cause of this.or that he is telling me. mmm Perhaps I need to speak to the Dr myself methinks
Good Luck everyone on the Radio therapy hope your all out of pain soon
Love Min
Hiya Min,
I know how you feel when the patient wont get help when needed. Mum has done this twice and has nearly died in the process. This last time after 2 chest dtains and a sealing procedure mum has said in future as soon as she is ill she is going to the doctors. What a relief that is for us.
I hope that Peter is getting the treatment he needs and is on the mend. You take care of your self
Gina xxxx
I think I'm right in saying that Peter and Slim are both ex-military?
The nearest I got was Lieutenant in the Boys' Brigade… with a 'First Aid Badge'… so I seek professional aid at the first opportunity.
I was trained to do so. 😉
Dai.
I think Stephen has got used to my bullying tactics since he has been ill. I must admit he has the patience of Job. Although it is accompanied by a huge dose of sarcasm. When we go to the hospital and Dr S asks How are you at the moment? Stephen says very pointedly " Let's ask Gill"
Fortunately the Doctors and Nurses at the small hospital Stephen attends know him only too well and would rather ask me as Stephen is not a very truthful bunny when it comes to his health and will always say "Oh I'm fine"
I do hope Peter is feeling better Min and will be home again soon Gill xxx
I am afraid Peter is now proper poorly.
They moved him into a single room as he had had a high temperature all last night and when I went in tonight he was not in the bed but in the loo. Where he seems to spend most of his time!
There was a wonderful new machine in the room and I could see that his last temperature reading was 40.1
I went into shock at that and when he came out of the loo I could see he was on fire. His face was red as if he had sunburn and on feeling him he had a fever which was 39.2 after intravenous paracetamol.
He is on constant drips for this that and the other and he was due to have platelets but they could not give them due to the high temperature.
He is feeilng absolutly exhausted and the constant drips to keep him from dehidrating keep him up going to the loo.
This is all new ground for Peter who got a mild infection in his canula hole on his 1st transplant and about 3-5 days of feeling off colour. otherwise he sailed through it.
He had no concept of what others have encountered on SCT and we decided that as he is now suffering A typical smyptoms perhaps there is more likelihood of a better outcome than last time. (It was only 5 months )
He got the platelets when his temp dropped by a degree. At least he does not have rigors and he does have privacy with no one else snoring in the room!
The one thing he did say was that he had learnt a valuable lesson… in future if he gets a sniffle of a runny nose or any temperature he will be in hospital faster than he can say sick…
I have to feel sorry for him as he is suffering just now but I also have to say they should never have let him go home last Monday. As he had slept the whole time he was home.
Hopefully they will find the anti biotic that can get this under control as up to now they dont know what is causing it.
Hi Min poor Peter I really feel for him , what a hard way to learn that lesson! I hope he begins to feel better tomorrow and they can zap him with anti-biotics quickly Your description brought back memories of my sct where I had a few days feeling very similar In fact I ended up staying in hospital for 5 weeks and I would not have felt able to go home any earlier! I hope you can get a bit of rest now you know Peter is getting the right treatment and that when he does come home it will all be behind him love to you both Bridget xx
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