So How is Your Day?

This topic contains 7 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Perkymite 11 years, 7 months ago.

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • #108517

    meeuu
    Participant

    [b]So You Think You're Having a Bad Day.[/b]

    There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

    "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

    "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."

    "This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking-lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me."

    "So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going?"

    #108518

    Elizellen
    Participant

    😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

    I almost sprayed my keyboard with high strength Lemsip!!

    #108519

    Perkymite
    Participant

    Now that is a "good" ending 😀 .

    #108520

    jmsmyth
    Participant

    Very good. Can't sleep so made me laugh. Any more?
    Love Jean

    #108521

    meeuu
    Participant

    [b]This one is for you Jean.[/b]
    Last week was my birthday
    and I didn't feel very well
    waking up on that morning.

    I went downstairs for breakfast
    hoping my wife would be pleasant
    and say, "Happy Birthday!", and
    possibly have a small present for me

    As it turned out,
    she barely said good morning,
    let alone "Happy Birthday."

    I thought…
    Well, that's marriage for you,
    but the kids….
    They will remember.

    My kids came bounding down stairs to
    breakfast and didn't say a word.
    So when I left for the office,
    I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

    As I walked into my office,
    my secretary Jane said,
    "Good Morning Boss,
    and by the way Happy Birthday! "
    It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

    I worked until one o'clock,
    when Jane knocked on my door
    and said, "You know,
    It's such a beautiful day outside,
    and it is your Birthday,
    what do you say we go out to lunch,
    just you and me."
    I said, "Thanks, Jane,
    that's the greatest thing
    I've heard all day.
    Let's go!"

    We went to lunch.
    But we didn't go
    where we normally would go.
    She chose instead a quiet bistro
    with a private table.
    We had two martinis each
    and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
    On the way back to the office,
    Jane said, "You know,
    It's such a beautiful day…
    We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?"

    I responded,
    "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
    She said, "Let's drop by my apartment,
    it's just around the corner."

    After arriving at her apartment,
    Jane turned to me and said,
    " Boss, if you don't mind,
    I'm going to step into the bedroom
    for just a moment.
    I'll be right back."
    "Ok," I nervously replied.

    She went into the bedroom and,
    after a couple of minutes,
    she came out carrying a huge birthday cake .
    Followed by my wife, my kids,
    and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy
    Birthday.

    And I just sat there…

    On the couch…

    Naked.

    #108522

    shirley
    Participant

    Ha hahahaha,very good,killing myself laffing,if anyone could see me they think i was off me rocker hahahaha,keep them coming 🙂 🙂 Shirls x x x

    #108523

    jmsmyth
    Participant

    Great!! Heard something similar but that one was about passing wind!!!! I am terrible – I can never remember the punch line.

    Keep them coming
    Love Jean

    #108524

    Perkymite
    Participant

    John that is so "human" and that is why it is so funny. You can almost imagine it happening!

    (can I recommend you do a seperate post for the next one you send in otherwise this post will become very long)
    kindest regards

    David

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