[ArthurParticipant]

My father (Arthur slater) passed away a week ago due to Myeloma taking its course. He died at the age of 52, and fought a long battle that lasted three years.
My mother around the same age is petrified to live her life (married 35 years) without him. I'm terrified of going back to University.
Me and my brothers and sister are devastated. We still feel numb and sick.

Myeloma – Such a roller coaster and such heartache.

i'm his son, Joseph Slater (19 years old), and just wanted to inform people, because I've been on here a lot asking for treatment advice and things.

Joe

[tomParticipant]

Hi Joe

I am sory to read about the sad loss of your Dad, I send my condolances to you and your family.

Stay Strong and know that your Dad is no longer in pain, remeber the good times and put the bad days to the back of your mind.

Keep in touch and hope all goes well for the funeral.

Regards Tom x

[brochoParticipant]

Dear Jo I am sorry your dad lost his fight against this horrible illness No wonder you are all in shock but stay strong and together you will get through it Remember all the good times , your dad will always be with in your memories Bridget

[TinaParticipant]

Dear Jo,

So very sorry to hear of the loss of your father I am sure he put up a brave fight against this B * disease. I lost my husband last May, we were together 34 years and I know how hard it will be for your mother. It will take some time to just remember the good times- but you will, believe me. As Bridget says stay strong and you will get through it.
Best Wishes
Tina

[EvaParticipant]

Dear Joe,
My mother died of cancer when I was 21. We were very close. I could not imagine life without her. I am now middle aged and have mm myself. I was able to go on and have a fulfilling life eventually. If you'd like to have a chat send me an email and we can talk over the phone. My email is evayouren@lineone.net

[mhnevillParticipant]

Dear Joe,

So sorry for your loss. Of course all of you will be feeling wretched. It is very early days and the grief is very, very raw, especially as your Dad had such a bad time of it and died so young. It does seem unfair.

Don't beat yourselves up because you feel you can't cope – it is natural at this stage. Is there anyone else who will support your Mum when you go back to Uni? I'm sure your Dad would want you to finish your studies even if you have to take a bit more time off. You have been a good elder son, doing all you could to support the family through the past three years.

AS others have said, take comfort in your good memories, of which you will have lots – polish them off and revel in them, especially funny incidents. Even if they make you weepy it is a good thing to do. Eventually they will help crowd out the bad memories of more recent days, but it will take time. And, if you can, take comfort from the fact that this life isn't all there is. As I watch the signs of spring it convinces me more and more that we humans are also programmed for a "new"life, even if we can't understand what kind of life that might be.

Much love to your Mum, 34 years is a long time – it will feel a shock, but having been so brave these past three years she will get through to the other side. She will never forget your Dad, but it will gradually become less painful. Hope you are a family that can share your love for one another.

Love and prayers.

Mavis x

[GillParticipant]

Dear Joe

I am so sorry for your loss. Please read Min's post "a week of firsts" It is my husband that has mm and sometimes I dread what the future will bring but life will continue in some way or other.

Please stay in touch on here. I know that everybody on here has you and your mum in their thoughts

Kindest regards Gill x

[ArthurParticipant]

Thankyou everybody, it's been nearly three weeks now since my dad died.
Although the initial anger has faded away, the distraught is still present.
I'm not looking forward to going back to University on Monday, but it has to be done. My mum is not herself (which is not out of the ordinary), but at least I know my 2 brothers and sister can be there for her in my absence to make sure shes not on her own.

Thanks again, I have read all of your comments and am touched by the kind/wise words that you have given me.

I'm sure things will ease and the way in which we deal with the pain will get better, but right now it seems so, so far away.

I'll keep everyone updated

Joe

[GemmaramParticipant]

Hi there Joe,

I also lost my Dad recently (on the 23rd February) and know exactly how you feel. I return to work on Monday after taking 4 months off to stay at home and care for him.

I'll be thinking of you during Monday and know that you aren't the only one facing the same Monday, we'll be gritting our teeth together.

Best wishes,
Gem x

[ArthurParticipant]

We'll be fine I'm sure of it. keeping busy might help, but I'm dreading not being near my family for a few weeks. It's been the only reason I've coped reasonably okay, because I have my mum to look after. And knowing shes being looked after makes me feel better.
I'm sure my sister will be here a lot, but the distance will hurt a tiny bit.

Anyways, hope Monday isn't too much of a struggle for you Gem. We'll battle on!

Joe x

[RozParticipant]

Dear Joe,

Sorry about the loss of your dad. Haven't been on here for a while.

Michael my husband died from it as you probably know. So I know what your mum is feeling. We had been married 30yrs. As long as you are there for each other at this time and also the future, your mum should be fine. Your mum will be feeling things differently to what you are, but knowing your there for her will make things seem better, I'm sure.

All the best to you all
Love Rozxxx

[tomParticipant]

Hi Joe and Gem

I am pleased to hear you are both doing well in the circumstances.

Good Luck for Monday Gem

Love
Tom xxx

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