[GillParticipant]

I cannot thank you all enough for your kind words and wishes. My daughter is flying over fro America ASAP.She was coming anyway to see him because we were warned that it would not be long but he even surprised the medics with just how quickly he went.

My son,daughter in law and baby Daniel (10 months) were there at the end and also our bestest friend (he always had a bit of a thing for oriental ladies lol (she knew that and did not give a hoot and they used to pull each others legs all the time)

He opened his eyes at one point, looked at the baby and said "oh look at him".

Stephen's mum got to the hospice some hours earlier and I shook his shoulder to try to let him know she was there. "Gill stop shaking me" he said so he was aware for a while.

His last words to me were "Is this it and don't you bullshit me". I hugged and kissed him and said "yes Darling your there now"

We have all picked out a verse to be read. His Mum is a believer and I am fine with that, as was Stephen, but she has said that she does not need any religious things because she knew that Stephen didn't believe. I am sure she will pray at some stage.

Everybody has been so kind and caring. Stephen's oncologist wants to come to the funeral and so (Shifts allowing) do his chemo nurses. His Oncologist visited him the night before he died as a visitor. His wife went with him because Dr Shafi had spoken so warmly about Stephen. I wondered where the big bunch of sunflowers came from but that is what they took him. Dr Shafi said to me that both Stephen and I had always taken such interest in his children and his life. That we had become part of his family

My kids and grand kids are devestated (his step family) and none went to work or school. How sad that his own daughter when I phoned said she knew he was dead and had no idea why I was phoning. She didn't swear once but I knew that I had been told to f off. "I stopped talking to my dad 7 years ago and that's how long he has been dead" Crazy thing is that it started over her treatment of her Nana and the fact that she had told Nana a pack of lies so Stephen was cross, but she doesn't do anyone being cross with her bless

I won't repeat what everybody else has said about that comment

I have to go tomorow to organise his send off It will be a humanist ceremony and it may seem disrespectful but he is coming into the crem with "always look on the bright side of life" and then his mum was keen to see him out with "unforgettabl|e" my goodness he certainly is

I wish you all so much luck in this horrid juourney and make sure that you talk and talk and talk to your loved ones Stephen and I did and yet I am still struggling with the bestt thing to do.

Gill xxx

[PerkymiteParticipant]

Thanks Gill for letting us know about Stephen?s final moments.

I have said to my wife and family that I do not want to be drugged up to the eyeballs when my time comes, pain relief is one thing but total mental oblivion is quite another. Stephen clearly looked Death straight in the eye with two fingers raised, good on him.

I wish you all the very best in the world – vasbyte

Love

David
x

[tomParticipant]

Now Look what you did Gill I went on You Tube to listen to "unforgettable" and I admite I have tears.

Gill I admire you Both (yep Stephen) am sure it was hard near the end but you have both faced it with immense strenth/courage and Love, and for that I and many more folk on here and that know you both will be eternally Grateful.

I also am not one for religion so am sure mine will be ? well lets wait and see shall we cos at the moment I am not sure? but the "unforgettable" sounds good to me.

I know you are a Strong Lady I have read many if not all your posts and read them to my young bride also, stay strong and yep Stephen I will say a few prayers for you, Rest In Peace my online Friend.

Love Tom xxxxx

[eveParticipant]

Hi Gill

Well you are on the start of another journey,this is the time to be a bit selfish,this is your husband you do exactly what you want,and arrange a funeral that will please you.

my daughter had a humanist funeral for Matty,at Bobbins,I have to say the woman who did the celebration of Matty,s life was excellent,she had phone calls after from to people who attended to say,how much pleasure they received from her service,I would recommend it to any one.

What can I say about Stephens daughter,in many years to come she will have lots of regrets,but she will have to live with them.It must be hard on Stephens Mum,i am glad to hear he will be going out in style.8-)

Good luck Gill hope the day goes well,and the same apply,s here Take one day at a time,chin up and be strong.All My Love Eve

[wendyduffieldParticipant]

So sorry to hear the sad news Gill. Im glad that you were able to share one or two moments with him before he slipped away, you were both very brave and now you can start the grieving process. Thank you for your kind words to us, we are all at different stages of our journies.

Wendy

[MinParticipant]

Dear Gill
There is a kind of Limbo we live in until the funeral, when it all seems so unreal and like a dream or nightmare. This is the time we all knew was going to happen but wished with all our heart we could put off.
I had a humanist funeral for Peter and some friends who are regular church goers commented that it was the best service they had ever been to. Humanist funerals are sooo personal /memorable.
I have his ashes inside a bird bath outside the window I am sitting at now, and whilst we did not have time to discuss any arrangements for funerals etc I am proud to have done him well so to speak. They only went out there a few weeks ago on the anniversary of his passing. Has a whole year passed already?
As for Stephens daughter? dont worry one day she will regret and reflect on her behaviour. But that is not for you to concern yourself with.
I hope it all goes well and that you can keep it together for a time.
Be sad of course but be happy that he came into your life and left a lasting effect on you. Making you the person you are because of him.
Much love
Minx

[EvaParticipant]

Dear Gill,
Thank you so much for letting us know so much about Stephen's journey. We can never understand exactly what you've gone through, but I have a great deal of respect and admiration for you both. I'm so sorry for what you are going through now. How do we keep going when the unthinkable has happened? We are all grappling with that. I hope that in time, you will be able to look back at the love you had for each other, and remember it with joy and contentment, rather than pain.
Thinking of you,
Eva

[TinaParticipant]

Dear Gill,

I am so glad that you will have some family with you for support at this difficult time. I had a humanist funeral for Patrick too at a Woodland Burial Park and was proud to write the eulogy myself including many funny stories which bought laughter and rememberance of a much loved man. I love your choice of music, I'm sure that would bring a smile to Stephens face.
Such a terribly sad time for you Gill, nothing I can say will relive the pain.
Lots of love to you and farewell dear Stephen you were loved and you will be missed.

Tina XX

[jillsParticipant]

Dear Gill,

So sorry to hear your news. I am glad you were able to be there at the end with Stephen. There is a lot to do now which will keep you busy but remember you need some support for you once the immediate things are dealt with.

Take care,

Jillx

[Author]

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