[Nicola2708Participant]

Have been at hospital all day with dad, just come to have a coffee.. Caffine hit while at last he has a little sleep. Today dad was given suppositories to help move the build up in his bowl, he's been catherteized as he's not passing urine, the doctor said this is because of the constipation. Not sure how that work. He's been seeping poo nearly all evening, I've cleaned him up, changed his bedding, continuous. Then the pain hits, I've never seen someone in so much pain, he was given morphine, doctor doesn't want to give him full examination due to pain. We've been sat here for 3 hrs now trying to control his pain, seems to have subsided, he's said he can't live like this anymore and wants us to help in go peacefully. Can't even start to imagine how he feels.. Breaks my heart. Been positive and upbeat telling him that's not the way, that befor it gets better its going to get worse. They've canceled his chemo for tomorrow as he's not well enough to have it. Just needed to talk to someone and wright down his feelings. My dads amazing man. Xx

[HeathermacParticipant]

It sounds as if you are both having a really tough time at the moment. There is not much to say other than to stay strong and that I am thinking of you. Urinary retention is a common side effect of severe constipation as the full sigmoid colon presses on the bladder outlet, hence the need for a catheter. Morphine is notorious for causing constipation, and being constipated can make you feel iller than you could imagine. I wonder if at least some of your dad's symptoms might caused by that constipation, lethargy, pain, nausea, being at least three problems. I hope they are able to resolve it soon – need to keep battling from both top (laxatives such as movicol, if tolerated) and bottom. I speak both from the point of view of patient who has experienced some of this, and a nurse, who has cared for people in similar situations. So I really hope this problem is sorted and that your dad is feeling better soon.
Heather x

[tomParticipant]

Hi Nicola

I do hope your Dad is soon sorted I for one could not poo for some time when having treatment and its one of the worse things that hit me while under treatment, I hope its soon sorted.

Love and Hugs

Tom xxx

[DaiCroParticipant]

Me too Tom.. constipation is often treated as a joke but there is nothing funny about being on the receiving end. I have had several problems with it, a couple severe and one where I was so extended (stomach) that I ended up in hospital… luckily I had taken 6 (six) Movicol solutions that day and I ended up pooing for Wales (8 Caps).

I t taught me a salutary lesson… and I take at least one Movicol (& other brand names) each day and if feeling iffy up to three a day. Better safe than sorry… because constipation types of sorry are just not worth it.:-P

I sincerely hope they get your Dad unblocked soon Nicola… and that the medics take steps to make sure he stays that way.:-)

Dai.

[mhnevillParticipant]

Hi Nicola

I am so sorry that your Dad is having such a difficult time. It must be so hard for you too. I would urge you, while not giving up hope, to take seriously what he is saying. Maybe he has had enough. If things don'ty taker a turn for the better maybe you should be speaking to his medical team about paliative pain control and care rather than looking for yet another medical process. I say this because i can imagine myself wantng this at some stage,

Love to you all.

Mavis x

[PerkymiteParticipant]

Hi Nicola Just wanted to say how I admire what you are doing for your Dad, it cannot be pleasant, my very best wishes for you and him.

Like most Myeloma sufferers I have had constipation and therefore can empathise with your Dad. I really on lots of roughage in my diet, I have never eaten so much greens and fruit.

My kindest regards ? vasbyte

David

[Nicola2708Participant]

Thank you all so much for your responses, and very kind words. Finally after 5 days dad has passed the poo, from several suppositories and lots of oral laxative sulution. Left him very sore.. Tired and bit scared to eat as he's worried about causing another build up. I wish I could do more to take his pain away, I'd take it for him. Mavis I have considered talking to his medical team, I have spoke to them about his request to me, so they are aware of his feelings. If o seriously think he's had enough I will speak to them again. Think it's very difficult for him as the adjustments to his life, even though my dads 60 hes very young at heart, he's never re married after my mum but has a very large group of friends they often away, down the pub, of to isle of White for TT races, we even caught him rolling skating through the village were he lived a couple of years ago as a dare. Hes a grafter as well, worked 7 days a week often 12 hour days,. Its a whole life change. All I know I will support him as well as I possible can. Xxx

[tomParticipant]

Well done those Tabs thats great news Nicola am sure in a few days your Dad will feel much better:-D

What your Dad said during his extreme discomfort and pain am sure when all has settled he will want to fight it all the way, your dad sounds like a fighter that was just a little punch drunk, now soon he will be putting on his gloves to fight the MM 😀

Good Luck

Tom "Onwards and Upwards" xx

[Nicola2708Participant]

Thanks Tom, he seems alot more perky today. Would imagine that now all that build up is out the pressure has gone and the pain. We spoke about what he asked me to do today, he's feels unhappy about what his life's going to offer, he's not going to be able to return to work if we get him fit enough due to MM attacking his spine and his color bone has colasped, his job involes heavy lifting. But I've tried to put postives in there for him to focus on, once hes feeling better.. 🙂 like you say onwards and upwards..think I do his head in with it lol. But like I said to him today, it's another battle he's won and I'll fight with him every step of the way xxx

[brochoParticipant]

Hi Nicola it must be a reief for you that your dad has managed to go to the loo Hopefully as the build up clears his depression will ease Its hard to imagine how awful constipation can make you feel , my bowels stopped working for several weeks before I was diagnosed although I was lucky not to have a painful blockage With you by his side I am sure your dad will get through this horrible time and begin to see that although his life will change there are still a lot of good times ahead. I had to give up a job I loved too but I realised there are so many other things worth being here for , family being the main one. Fingers crossed it wont take long before his physical well being improves and he can see the good things he can still enjoy even going down the pub to see his mates although roller skating might be risky ! Please pass on my best wishes to your dad Make sure you look after yourself too and have a break sometimes.I think your dad must be very proud to have such a caring daughter and together you can get through this love Bridget

[tomParticipant]

Hi Nicola

Am pleased your Dad (am sure he has a name lol) is feeling Perky as Perky is Good 🙂

Tell your Dad from me Work aint all that you know 🙂 But I know how he feels I needed to get back to work to prove to Myself that am fit and healthy (now i should be so lucky he he) and now I feel as if I am near ready for packing it all in (work that is) but is it just the cold, the winter blue's not sure so al wait till spring pops its head in and see how i feel then 😎

As Bridget said Look after yourself cos those that are carer's (awful word though) always forget to look themself

Take Care and give my Best to your Dad (the one with no name yet he he)

Love Tom "Onwards and Upwards" xx

[Nicola2708Participant]

Thank you Bridget, here's hoping.:-) . Everyday is certainly a new challenge. I've been to work today needed some normality myself lol. Although dad has rang me about 20 times bless him. He's awaiting a transfusion as we speak as his heamagloban levels are 8.1. Which are low. Think normal levels are 14.9.

Tom my dads name is Michel or Micky which everyone else calls him lol. Do you guys get involved in much fund-raising I'm just discussing with a few people about may be doing a charity ball, with auction. Give us something positive to work towards and raising some pennies for this wonderful site.

May the forse be with you love nicola

[tomParticipant]

Hi Micky and Nicola

Its Good to have a name for your Dad 😀

I hope you remember that you need to have some space to yourself rather than all MM problems that way you can help Micky better 😎

As for the Fund-Raising I myself have never tried it :-S and admire those that can do it 😎

Catcha Lata say Hi to Micky for me 😀

Love Tom "Onwards and Upwards" xxx

[DebsParticipant]

Hi Nicola,

I'm sorry to hear about your dad being in so much pain and feeling so down about it. But it sounds like you're doing an amazing job in helping him to stay positive.

I haven't been on here much recently as I haven't been too well, and now I am busy….trying to organise my first charity ball!! I'm no expert on it and if you speak with MMUK they can help you with some stuff, but if you do decide to do it, I can pass over all the stuff we create and do….our theme is Glitz and Glamour and if you did that, we could probably give you all of our design work, posters etc if you liked it. I don't see the point of recreating the wheel and lots of people have helped me so far.

Small word of warning…it is quite a big task!!

Take care
Debs x

[CarolBradley1Participant]

Hi Nicola

Glad to hear your dad is improving. You are a super daughter and he must be so proud of you. Please try and look after yourself too although I know it´s really hard when life is so difficult and busy.
Best Wishes
Carol

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