Hi Gill This is the first time ive looked at the site for ages, I often wonder how the rest of you are coping. Its its two and a half years since Michael died like you some days it seems longer than others I to have done things that I never thought I never would .but I always believe Michael is with me. Would be nice to catch up drop me a…[Read more]

Dear Eve I am so sorry Slim has passed away, and I hope everything went well for you on Tuesday.
I remember you when Michael was in his final days and the comfort you gave me with your kind words.
Love and Hugs
Suexx

So very sorry to hear of Slims passing. He fought a massive battle for so long,with you
By his side.

Thinking of you and your family at this sad time.

Hi Gill no what you mean about songs, I don’t know if its because were more aware, I keep hearings songs from the past which meant a lot to us both, they seem to be playing all the time or have they always been played and I took them for granted ( god I do ramble on sometimes, but I know what I mean)
Strange isn’t it I feel worse now than I did 9…[Read more]

Hi all I must say that I do agree about the trials being more important than the person. When Michael was on the Bendamustine trial there were regular phone calls asking what if any side effects he was getting and even when he had to stop treatment (this was because he had very low platelets and the trial criteria stated he could not be given any…[Read more]

Dear Sue I am so sorry to hear about Keith another sad loss to Multiple Myeloma, my heart goes out to you and your family

God Bless
Suex

My thoughts are with Keith and his wife Sue. I always remember Keith from the old site when I was fighting for Velcade for Michael, he was always there to support me. God bless you Keith.
Love
Suex

Dear Dai Michael was in a similar position with the Bendamustine except his was low platelets, he had reduced doses missed cycles because of his low count but his consultant wouldn't give him a transfusion. Looking back we should have taken it further, but we assumed she was right. Saying that he did receive GCSF injections. I thought quality of…[Read more]

Dear Dai Your resting place sounds perfect, im afraid Michaels is more of what feels right as we never really talked about his ashes, lets hope its something Janet wont have to carry out for a very long time. The Major Oak is a no no wouldhave been ok about 40years ago.
Hi Tina Min mentioned she had some of Peters ashes sewn into little bags,…[Read more]

Oh Gill what a lovely photo, at least nothing can take those away from us

Love
Suex

Dear Eve Im so sorry to read about Slims relapse its so hard to watch someone you love suffer but I know from all the kindest and support youve given me that you will get through this blip. A more positive note Revlimid worked well for Michael he had total remission for a good couple of years with little or no side effects and that was without any…[Read more]

Just be kind to yourself. If you want a duvet day have one or two. I had weeks
Of duvet days in those early days getting up to feed the dogs and walk them then
Going back to bed to feel sorry for myself as there was little else I felt able
To do.
It's exhausting grieving.
Everyone will tell you it gets better. In fact you adjust to the pain…[Read more]

Hi When Michael was given 3months to live by his consultant, the reaction of most people was, but he looks so well, and then avoided us like the plague.
My family used to say people were frightened of upsetting you, but we were already upset and this added to the situation.
Even now after his death when I go outside the front door, neighbours…[Read more]

Hi Tina I havent worked for the past 6months,I had to stop as all the hospital visits,trials etc became to much for me to carry on full time. Looking back now im pleased I did as I was able to spend all my days with Michael not really believing they would be his last. Work have kept my job open for me, I will probably go back at some point,perhaps…[Read more]

Dear All You are such a lovely bunch of people. Tina i will almost certainly be the same with Michaels clothes I cant even open the door, but I do keep his dressing gown on the back of the airing cupboard door and in the morning I wrap my nightie inside it, see Ive just started myself off again.
Tina do you still work?

Love
Suex

Dear Min When I read your post it made me smile ( and cry )especially the bit about someone at the door, that is my worse nightmare. i thought about grtting another dog (lucy our chocolate lab died 1year ago) but then I thought perhaps I should wait a while.
The club sounds good perhaps in a couple of months time, or im I jumping the gun.
Hoping…[Read more]

I Empathise entirely with you Sue.
When I found myself alone, I was terrified to go upstairs, my home was like Blackpool illuminations!
My poor dogs who needed to be let out last thing at night never got let out as I was terrified to open the back door.
Someone rang the door bell one night and sat shaking like a gibbering wreck.
Being alone…[Read more]

Dear Ann
I found shopping one of the hardest things to do after Peter died.
I kept seing things I liked or knew he liked and wanted to buy them for him.
It took a while for me to stop looking at the kind of things that upset me.
But groceries are another taboo. I still cant stop myself buying for two!

Dont think I will ever get used to many…[Read more]

Dear Min That is a lovely idea, I had decided not to collect his ashes until the day before we scatter them. dont ask me why I just find it a bit spooky, silly isnt it he never hurt me when he was alive so why should he now? Night time is a big problem for me, I dont like being alone (my daughters do stay when they can, but one travels with her…[Read more]