On the contrary Eve, I don't believe in a god that causes so much suffering to so many.
But I do believe there is something, after death.
I like to believe my husband is around me often as I can smell him. My son and daughter in law told me they could smell him in there brand new car yesterday.
How can that be?
The elephant in the room…[Read more]

Dear sue,
Hope your weekend goes as well as you hope,
If you feel the need get in touch.
May I suggest when you come to scatter his ashes you keep a small portion to sew into one of his handkerchiefs.
You can put it under your pillow, or carry it in your hand bag knowing he is always with you.
I have made several little pouches for me and…[Read more]

Hi All Thank you for your lovely replys Tina,Min,Gill my feelings are just as you describe. I feel worse now than I did 2 weeks ago,There is lots to sort out, which im ok with but as soon as I sit down I start to cry. I tried taking all the cards down today but I coundnt so I put them all back up and cried again. Its Michaels birthday and our…[Read more]

Dear Sue,
Im so sorry you find yourself alone. Im pleased Michaels send off went perfectly.
In the coming weeks the reality will hit you, and a slow dawning of the fact that he is not on another stay in hospital will sink in.
Whilst one part of you is relieved that his suffering is at an end, the other part will realise that your job is done.…[Read more]

Dear All
Thank you again for your replys,hope you are keeping well Clare. Time 4.30am and back to the site for comfort and support,cant sleep at all doctor has given me some sleeping tablets but im afraid to take them.
The funeral is on Friday at 2.15 still cant believe this is all happening,I keep expecting Michael to walk through the door,…[Read more]

Dear All Thank you all for your kind words and support. Dai your words are always a comfort. Tina i will email you probably after the funeral. I cant believe there is so much to arrange, and of course I want to do it all myself.
Everyone has been so kind. phone calls,visits but it does frighten me when it all stops and I have time to think.I just…[Read more]

Dear Susanah,
I wish you and your family strength to bear the coming days and weeks.
Know that you have helped Michael feel at peace and when he is ready and not a moment sooner he will go in the knowledge that he was loved dearly, and wait in that special place for the day you will be together again.
You will always carry your fondest memories…[Read more]

Might I suggest that the fraud squad be informed of this particular spam as I'm sure someone will be using them . If they already know of them they should be closing it down
Min

Dear All Michael is asleep at the moment so I thought I would give you an update. The last couple of weeks have been mixed, I havent managed to visit the hospice yet as we have been snowed in, but hopefully now the weather has changed i might get the chance.
As you all have said th mac nurse and the district nurse have been brilliant I cant thank…[Read more]

Hi All Sorry havent replied, what a week!Saw the GP Friday (needed a sick note for work been off with stress since Michaels prognosis) He refused saying i was now a carer and this could be long term? I looked at him and then he asked what the oncologist had said? I wanted to say he doesnt see one but I was to upset, although im 60 I have supported…[Read more]

Dear Susannah,
I'm so so sorry you find yourself in this position. The feeling of being alone and not knowing what to do next or for the best is bewildering. Especially when you are undergoing so much stress.
I don't know what to say to help or make you feel better. But please look up The Liverpool care plan.
I believe you and your husband…[Read more]

Dear All Thank you so much for your replys, I would like to wrap you all up and have you posted to my address, sounds silly but would love to meet you all.
have made the decision to ring the Macmillan nurse on Monday. Gill the hospice sounds good. were the same as you we have nowhere to put a hospital bed or a hoist for the shower. At the moment…[Read more]

Hi Tina just read your post,how lucky is your brother living in Cornwall. Michael and I spent our last "normal" week away last June in Falmouth, we both loved it so much. I am so pleased you had a lovely time
Happy New Year
love
Suex

Good Luck on the Bendamustine Dai

Love
Suex

Hi Tina I dont know what I would do without this site you are the only people who understand what im going through. There are so many questions I want to ask but then I think do I want to know the answers. I feel myself start to panick when there is just the two of us especially at night. Who do I ring if anything happens 999, the district nurse,…[Read more]

Hi All Thank you for your replys, Christmas wasnt to bad i kept myself very busy so didnt have time to think, but New years Eve not so good. Went to bed about 10 o clock just lay awake then listened to all the fireworks going off thats when it hit me, Michael was sound asleep (mophine Induced) I just let the tears roll, time is passing so quickly…[Read more]

Dear Gill
I understand why you want to be alone. That's how I wanted it. But I wasn't allowed.
I don't know what is worse being on your own, or putting on a pleasant face for those who don't want to see you miserable.
You have to experience the loss of your bestest friend and confidant, lover and carer, because with the best will in the world,…[Read more]